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3 Minutes to Zero
on July 5, 2014
I'm not a big Kevin Costner fan but decided I'd give this a chance. I should have gone with my instinct and left it alone. Luc Besson is primarily responsible for the script which, not surprisingly therefore, is shot mostly in Paris. That location is the movie's plus. Otherwise, not so good.
Costner, an aging, always disheveled CIA "agent on the ground," is assigned to capture a dirty bomb being sold from the "Albino" to the "Wolf," two international bad guys who need to be taken out as well. After his first encounter with the Albino, a doctor tells him his cold symptoms are actually those of cancer and gives him 3 months to live. Amber Heard, an unflappable super CIA agent invariably dressed in garb that better suits a dominatrix, is sent to assist Costner. She offers him an experimental drug that will potentially extend his life - but only if he finishes the job. There is then a procession of action scenes set against farce, some with Heard, in which he is either rousting or shooting down a long line of inept thugs.
Yet, what takes center stage is another theme entirely. Amidst the violence, the film becomes a comedic chick flick as Costner stumblingly attempts to become Father Knows Best to his 17-year- old daughter whom he's neglected for the last five years and is living in Paris with her mother. Adding more sap to the syrupy base is an out-of-context African immigrant family who have squatted in his Paris apartment during his lengthy absence. Their simple manner supposedly helps him realize what is really important in life (??).
McG (give me a break!) directed this disaster, and Besson's lines are more embarrassing than funny. Oh well, I give you 3 minutes to turn it off. If you get as far as, "it's a mustache, it's a goatee," - it's too late!