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10 Days to a Less Defiant Child: The Breakthrough Program for Overcoming Your Child's Difficult Behavior Paperback – May 19, 2006
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Top Customer Reviews
Bernstein's book "10 Days to a Less Defiant Child" (I will call "10 Days" from now on) gives parents and teachers new insights and tools in art of raising children. Though Bernstein does not assume the role of telling the parent what specific morals to teach, he offers some tools and some understanding of emotional intelligence that will allow parents to lead and teach rather than the typical chaos that many parents experience.
Here are some of the Key Points of 10 Days:
o Bernstein stresses the importance of learning to listen correctly. When children's feelings are not validated, that in itself many times it causes anger, resentment, and unmet expectations.
o Yelling he says, is counter productive and can easily become a downward spiral. This is for two reasons. The first is that for a calm house to exist there has to be calmness. The second stems from the parenting goal itself to teach children to control their emotions and anger. Yelling itself is a loss of emotional control, and regardless of the message, it teaches children to release their emotions in similar outbursts.
o One of answers to alleviating the dreaded power struggles is to learn to be calm and firm. The call to calm means that we are to keep our emotions in check while at the same time being firm, not negotiating or vacillating on the consequences.Read more ›
We have had a child who from the first year gave us a run for the money. Love is just not enough when a child challenges
just about everything you say AND do. I have read so many
books and always wound up feeling like a bad parent. This
book is so full of empathy and understanding for the parent it does what we have always needed -- someone who could really help
us help our child and make our family life less emotionally draining and more fun. I wholeheartedly recommend this book
for any and every parent who needs and wants help. Dr. Bernstein understands that a parent who beats up on themselves
can't help anyone and by helping the parent help themselves,
it seems to automatically translate to the child!
This book really helped us tease out the differences between
opposition and depression, antisocial behavior and anxiety.
This is a great compendium of information and any and every
parent will find something that will make a BIG difference in their child's life and family life!
I cried many times as I read through this book because it describes exactly so many situations that we live through on a day to day basis. I always thought I was alone in this and it would be a lifelong struggle to try to raise a kind, responsible boy... a struggle that I wasn't sure I would be successful at.
I am not yet through the entire book, but I feel compelled to write a review because it has changed my life. From the first day that we started implementing the author's suggestions, my son improved. After a week now, we are a different family. We are happy most of the time. There is no more screaming and little crying. We are talking! The book has not only taught me about my son, but also has helped me to reflect on my own choices, thoughts, and actions (which is perhaps the most difficult aspect of all) and has taught me a lot about myself.
The book gives excellent explanations and examples without being preachy or long-winded. I highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with a defiant child.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great book with great tips not only for a strong willed child but everyday lifePublished 3 months ago by Kelly
This book would be great for a parent who is just realizing there child has an issue. But mine is 10 nearly 11. Read morePublished 5 months ago by crystldelamar84
I foster kids and this book really helps. Helped me to understand what I was doing wrong and why it didn't work. When I followed the book defiance started to melt away.Published 6 months ago by Laurie A. Jehlik
Not as informative as I had hoped - I ordered another book that was much easier to comprehend and follow !Published 6 months ago by Yolanda Jones
Has good points ---a little too passive. Puts 99% on the parents IMO to change their actions and reactions. I think the children also have behaviors to change directly. Read morePublished 6 months ago by DAN A BULLEIT