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Only they're not very funny. Really, what's the point of putting clowns in your movie if it's going to be a COMPLETELY humorless film. I don't pick up a clown film because I think it will have a good story, I don't pick them up for the great character development, I pick them up to see clowns killing people in clown-like ways. And zombie clowns? Well, thats brillaint. Except they screwed it up by letting them just be zombies dressed as clowns. I was expecting imagination, I got nothing.
The characters are boring, cliche and annoying and the dialogue is dull and drawn out to death. The pacing is all wrong. The only relief comes in waiting for the occassional stock hurricane footage because at least that was filmed well. Only it's the same shots over and over so that gets pretty awful too.
But yeah all of that I could've ignored for the most part if these clowns had actually been clowns and killed with imagination. That would have left the problem of the film being unbearably slow, poorly and weirdly lit with bad sound, and generally headache-inducing, but at least I would've thrown down two stars for the interesting deaths.
As is, there's no reason to watch this, let alone buy it.
I will say one thing: the majority of "indy" horror productions sell their movie with packaging. I picked this up and thought, "hey; interesting cover. I'll give it a try." STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. This movie is the WORST movie I've ever seen--and I've seen plenty of stinkers in my 54 years.
Supposedly set in Port Emmett, Florida, "Dead Clowns" is about (I should have read the back of the disc) a terrible tragedy involving of all things a clown car being dumped into the bay--never to be recovered. It's said, mind you, that on certain nights you can hear the sound of a calliope wafting over the waters...
Obviously shot on a shoe-string budget (not to mention a wing and a prayer), there is actually no story at all. There's some boring footage of a hurricane, the same old shot of wind blown palm trees, traffic lights, and stop signs. Yep; that about sums up the movie. Oh...I forgot. Seems that--for whatever reason--the clowns are now zombies and they have picked this particular night (keep in mind they've been buried for over 50 years) to show up and eat people. The effects are at an all time low: think Herschel Gordon Lewis--but WAY worse. The extras in this movie (and I absolutely refuse to refer to any of them as actors) have as much stage presence as a dead ferret. The editing, pacing, and directing are all horrible. The majority of the cast members do not even speak--probably for good reason.
This complete waste of time lasts 95 minutes and was distributed by Lionsgate. People, keep this up and you'll be as defunct as Orion Pictures.Read more ›
Dead Clowns (aka Man that looks like a dead bear) takes place on a home video camera somewhere in Florida. A hurricane is coming into the area and dominates the first half hour making you wonder if you watching a b version of the weather channel. All you get is landscape shots of the storm along with some mindlessly boring dialogue. You're literally seconds away from throwing in the towel when something actually happens. For some reason the storm resurrects a bunch of dead clowns from the sea who died in a bridge collapse. That's it folks, that's your movie. Now please thank Sid for saving you the hour and a half you could have spent doing absolutely anything besides watching this. So obviously we think this one blows and would have no matter what age we were in the past. When you return this one give it the right treatment and scream "he's gone, the evil's gone from here!"
Most Recent Customer Reviews
LOVE IT! I really did. Brinke Stevens: Love her. Debbie Rochon: Love her. Lucien Eisenach: Love him. Eric Spudic: Love him. Robyn Griggs: Love her. Jeff Dylan Graham: Love him. Read morePublished 9 months ago by Bobbie West
Port Emmett is a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there. Heck, you wouldn't want to be anywhere near the place when a hurricane hits. Read morePublished on November 8, 2010 by Dr. Nocturna
Product was brand new in original wrapper as advertised was delivered earlier than expected date! AwesomePublished on November 7, 2010 by Corliss Jones
Dead Clowns is a low budget movie-period. That is the bottom line. That's it. It's a piece that would rank upwards with John Carpenter's "The Fog" or de Ossorio's "Tombs of the... Read morePublished on March 15, 2010 by R. R. Gutierrez
no actors, directors, screen writters, make-up artests, or professionals were used in the making of this crap. none were asked for advice either. Read morePublished on June 28, 2009 by gespect
This DVD is just plain awful. The setting is horrible. The storm scenes are terrible. The dialogue is non-existant and the actors deliver them with little emotion. Read morePublished on May 11, 2009 by Paul
Im really not into giving movies bad reviews, for everybody has their own vantage point. Although i will say dead clowns is very misleading. Dont get me wrong, i love indy films. Read morePublished on October 19, 2008 by John Parrish
I had to save this movie from its scathing reviews...I honestly like it. Now keep in mind that the director was interviewed and kept referring to it as not a low-budget movie, but... Read morePublished on September 13, 2008 by Noir Man
OK I'm not quite understanding why anybody would ever give this flop of a movie 5 stars. Cult classic my @$$. Never in a million years would that ever happen. Read morePublished on January 4, 2008 by Leo