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Dead End Dating: A Novel of Vampire Love (Dead End Dating, Book 1) Mass Market Paperback – August 29, 2006

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Kimberly Raye is the bestselling author of more than thirty novels. She’s been nominated for several Romantic Times Reviewers’ Choice awards, as well as a RITA award. Her books have been featured in several major magazines, including Better Homes & Gardens and Glamour, and her novel Sometimes Naughty, Sometimes Nice was a Cosmopolitan magazine book club pick. She lives deep in the heart of Texas Hill Country with her husband and their young children. Please visit her website at

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.


For those of you who don’t already know me, my name is the Countess Lilliana Arabella Guinevere du Marchette (yeah, I know), but my friends call me Lil.

I mean, really, what were my folks thinking? It’s hard enough being a single, jobless, five-hundred-year-old female vampire in this day and age without the whole pretentious French royalty thing and an ancient lame-ass name that doesn’t even fit in the box on a Visa application. Talk about another cross to bear. (Oops, poor word choice. My bad.)

Let’s just say life is tough for any woman, and death isn’t much better. We’re still expected to live up to this whole Night-Feeding Barbie image—perfect figure, perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect incisors—and procreate, hunt for the family, and make sure little Morticia doesn’t color on the walls and baby Vlad doesn’t eat the eyes off his Count Dracula doll. Talk about stress.

For the typical committed female vampire, that is.

I, on the other hand, haven’t had a decent date in the past one hundred years, much less found Count Right, so my life is a bit simpler. Notice I say “simpler” rather than lonelier. Because I am not, repeat not, lonely.

I’m a single, hot, happening vampire with a flair for accessorizing, a handful of super-sweet friends—literally—and a very expensive therapist. ’Nuff said.

Now where was I? Oh, yeah—me making my own way in the world. First on my list is finding an apartment. A girl can live with her parents for only so many centuries without having a nervous breakdown. Second is getting a job. Neither of which should pose a problem for someone like me. Pure vampires (those born rather than made) are an ambitious, take-charge-and-make-things-happen race, and so most of us are filthy rich. If I were so inclined, I could easily use my family’s green to find a suitable apartment in Manhattan (complete with a live-in maid, which is almost worth being eternally indebted to my folks considering the fact that I hate to clean) and go to work for my father managing his New York University location of Midnight Moe’s.

What is Midnight Moe’s, you say?

Think copy machines. Think printing services. Think two hundred locations nationwide (near a university near you).

Think bor-ing.

While I have nothing against copying or printing, I simply can’t see myself standing behind the counter from dusk ’til dawn, wearing a lime green polo shirt with “Midnight Moe’s” embroidered across the pocket, and matching Dockers. Lime green is so not my color (I’m a winter, and anything out of my range makes me look, well, dead.) As for the Dockers . . . they’re Dockers. (Shudder.) So you can see why the thought of spending eternity gainfully employed in the family business is enough to make me want to stake myself.

You’ve probably guessed by now that I’m not like most other vamps. Except maybe one, that is. My father says I’m the spitting image of my great aunt Sophie, who nuked herself, just last year, in a tanning bed she purchased off the QVC channel. She was a total nonconformist when it came to the whole vamp image, with her blond highlights, pale peach nail polish, and addiction to Hawaiian-print sarongs.

Personally, I wouldn’t be caught dead in a Hawaiian-print anything. Likewise, why would I crawl into a Sunsation 5000 when Clinique makes the most rockin’ sunless tanning spray in the perfect shade of medium gold? Not! I don’t care for pale peach, either, but I do have highlights and I’m definitely a nonconformist (aka the daughter that was switched at birth or so my mother tells the women in her Happy Hunting Club).

You see, I don’t do black. I don’t prowl the streets, biting unsuspecting victims (unless he’s really, really cute). I don’t sleep in a cramped coffin. I don’t go all orgasmic at the mention of Marilyn Manson. (Hel-lo? The guy is so totally unhot, even if he does have the whole night-creature look going on.) Nor am I a cold, ruthless, unfeeling bitch, unless you’re the Princess Colette du Guilliam, the blond-haired, blue-eyed slut who stole my very first boyfriend.

My favorite color is pink. Biting is so over. I’d rather drink my dinner out of a martini glass and follow it up with a cosmopolitan chaser. I sleep in a king-sized bed on a pillow-top mattress (yum). I score a ten on the O-meter when it comes to Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, and Toby Keith (I know, I know, he’s so not my type, but there’s just something about the cowboy hat). I’ve also been known to cry during the MasterCard commercials. And—this is the eighth deadly sin as far as my kind are concerned—I’m a closet romantic.

I absolutely, positively love love.

I love everything about it, from that first initial glance between two strangers, to the earth-shattering moment when both realize that they are meant to be together forever (deep sigh). My favorite movie is Pretty Woman, followed by An Officer and a Gentleman and The Terminator (the movie itself isn’t all that touching, but the one love scene really rocks). My favorite holiday is Valentine’s Day, and I have a heart-shaped tattoo at the left side of my bikini line. And I actually jumped up and down when Carrie ended up with Big in the final episode of Sex and the City.

So it only stands to reason that I should forgo Moe’s and opt for something a little more romantic to pay the bills.

Vampires need love, too.

Okay, most of my brethren would argue this with me because they (a) don’t believe in the concept and are, for the most part, vicious bloodsuckers, and (b) aren’t nearly as enlightened as I am. But while the average Joe Vamp doesn’t buy into the “L” concept, he’s still hard-pressed to find an eternity mate for all those practical reasons mentioned above (see little Morticia and baby Vlad). Who better to hook him up than yours truly?

For a fee, of course. After all, a girl’s gotta eat (okay, so this girl’s gotta keep up her supply of MAC bronzing powder, but you get the idea). Which is why I’m not limiting my services to vamps. Hence my fantabulous entrepreneurial brainstorm: Dead End Dating. A Manhattan-based, equal-opportunity matchmaking service for the smart, savvy, sophisticated single sick and tired of dead-end dating, and the smart, savvy, sophisticated single vampire looking for just that.

I know, I know. It’s brilliant. What can I say? Genius runs in my family (ever heard of Marie Curie?). Anyhow, it’s a great plan, one that I’ve already put into motion. Last week, I leased the perfect office space just around the corner from my favorite Starbucks (ah, the smell of mocha latte and maple scones), and I hired my first employee: Evie Dalton. Evie is as human as they come, but I’m a sucker (no pun intended) for an impressive interview ensemble—DKNY miniature jacket, boot-cut Gucci corduroys, Kenneth Cole boots, and the pièce de résistance—a rhinestone belt to die for.

So here I sit on a clear, moonlit October evening in Manhattan, my laptop open in front of me, ready and willing to change someone’s destiny. To pluck them from the pit of loneliness and lift them into the blessed light of companionship. To save them from the jaws of isolation and deliver them into the warm, comforting embrace of . . . Well, you get the picture.

Who knows? Maybe I’ll find my own eternity mate while I’m dishing out happily ever afters.

Of course, I’m not getting my hopes up, mind you—I’m even pickier when it comes to men than I am with accessories. For now, I’m willing to settle for paying the bills, particularly the whopper of a Visa bill that’s headed my way after funding this latest venture.

Not that I’m worried. Once my ad runs in all of the local papers, the masses will be climbing over one another to get to my office (I’m picturing a half-off sale at Barney’s). The funds will roll in and I won’t have to crawl back to my folks in Connecticut and endure yet another Sunday night dinner with a prospective Count Right. Did I mention that my mother has a habit of fixing me up? She doesn’t buy into the whole non-lonely spiel.

Anyhow, I just know Dead End Dating is going to be it. The next big thing. My ticket to complete financial independence and personal fulfillment. Or, at the very least, a really cool way to pay next month’s rent.

The matchmaking biz totally rocks.


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Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Ivy Books; 1st Printing edition (August 29, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0345492161
  • ISBN-13: 978-0345492166
  • Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 1 x 6.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 0.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,529,818 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I'm so excited about my newest series featuring the sexy cowboy vampires of Tombstone, Texas! The first book, THE QUICK & THE UNDEAD, is available now in both print and e-book format. Here's a little teaser . . .

Ever dream of being hand-cuffed by sexy lawman Wyatt Earp, kidnapped by the slick outlaw Jessie James, or courted by the dashing Wild Bill Hickok?

Then welcome to Tombstone, Texas, where anything is possible, even your wildest fantasy. Tombstone, once a haven to the biggest, baddest outlaws in the state, is now a tourist town that gives travelers a taste of the old West, from gun fights at high noon to drinking and dancing at the local saloon. What visitors don't realize, however, is that the outlaws walking the streets aren't just actors--they're the real deal. Because the town wasn't just a gathering place for outlaws back in the day, it was also a haven for vampires. And while many people have come and gone over the years, the men who run Tombstone have been doing so for nearly two hundred years. A group of ancient and very powerful vampires, they feed off of sex, as well as blood and, for the right price, are more than happy to play out even the most sensual fantasy. So step right up, folks, and book your trip today! The outlaws of Tombstone will be waiting . . .

I hope you'll check out this first in my brand new series and order your copy today! And don't forget to visit me on the web at!

Much love from deep in the heart . . . Kimberly Raye

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By AK on November 3, 2006
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Lil Marchette has no desire to enter into her family business, copy and print centers; which may be lucrative, but are boring. So, despite the fact that she has not dated in over a century, she decides to set up the first dating service that caters to vampires, as well as humans. Starting up a business is tough, even if you have vampire magnetism going for you, as Lil soon discovers. It does not help that she wants to dally with the clients, well, one in particular. Unfortunately, Ty is the wrong kind of vampire; one made not born, as Lil was. For the sake of their species, she should only consider born vamps, like those her mother continually tries to match her with. Ty is sexy and he's a bounty hunter, just like Ranger in her favorite book series. He also comes complete with a serial killer murder mystery that Lil is determined to help solve. It beats thinking about her own problems and gets her closer to the hottest vampire/cowboy she's seen in a while.

**** Everyone needs some fun in their lives, which is the number one reason to add this to your tbr pile. Ms. Raye's vampire mythos has tweaked the traditional standards intriguingly and made it humorous to boot. Lil's take on life in general is sharp as a vampire's fang and equally snappy. This is a promising start to the series. I look forward to more. ****
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Ratmammy VINE VOICE on November 26, 2006
Format: Mass Market Paperback
DEAD END DATING by Kimberly Raye

November 26, 2006

Amazon rating 3.5/5

"Dead End Dating begins a new trilogy by Kimberly Raye, author of Sometimes Naughty, Sometimes Nice. Five-hundred-year-old Lil Marchette, who is not a typical vampire, is somewhat of an embarrassment to the family. She has yet to find a mate for life, she loves pink, and now she's trying to run a dating service, which is totally unheard of in the world of vamps.

Her first client is Francis, a geeky vamp who is over one-thousand-years old. Unfortunately, he's not much of a catch, at least not at first sight, but the more she gets to know him, the better he looks. However, he desperately needs a makeover if he wants to find a mate!

While Lil is busy trying to get her dating service started, bounty hunter Ty Bonner asks her to help him find a serial killer hitting dating services around the country. Since he's currently in Manhattan, Lil's dating service might be next on his list. Lil is on the lookout now for a man who fits the description, keeping an eye on the women using her dating service as well, to prevent another murder." - complete review found at BookLoons. - M. Lofton

I'm not a reader of paranormal romance, but the characters in DEAD END DATING are fun. Lil stands out because she's not traditional, and helps bring in comedy relief to this lighthearted paranormal. For those who are not familiar with this genre, they may need to get used to the lingo as well as the concepts, such as immortality. Werewolves and "others" are also normal creatures in this world, who live side by side with humans. For those who enjoy this genre, one may not want to pass this book up.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Brycen T. Edwards on July 16, 2007
Format: Mass Market Paperback
This is a fluffy silly book. It reads like Sex in The City with Vampires. Yes it also resembles the unwed series by Mary Janice Davidson. I love this kind of story so that does not bother me. It is a great read while I wait for the next MJD unwed book.

This book is easy to read. I cleared through 200 pages in one day. Very unlike me. It keeps my attention. The mother is actually my favorite character. She reminds me of my own mom.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Kindle Customer on January 12, 2007
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I really enjoyed this book. It was funny, sexy, and the problems the main character go through are hysterical. Case in point, she follows one of her clients throughout her "date" (to prevent the serial killer from striking again,) hears strange muffled noises coming from the bedroom goes to investigate, and embarassingly discovers it's just a little bit of the rough 'n tumble. I didn't feel that the author was trying to pull a mary janice davidson- I think that's a little bit of a stretch. There actually was more plot to sink your teeth into. hehehe
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on October 2, 2007
Format: Mass Market Paperback

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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Deborah Wiley VINE VOICE on April 28, 2007
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Who says vampires can't find love? Lil Marchette is determined to make her matchmaking service a success by finding eternity mates for vampires. After all, the thought of working at the family business, Midnight Moe's, in those hideous lime green polo shirts and Dockers is just frightening. Of course, Lil's own social life is in the pits and she can't stop thinking about the gorgeous bounty hunter and made vampire, Ty Bonner. Ty is all wrong for her as she is one of the born vampires. Ty is searching for a serial kidnapper and suspects he may use dating services to find his next victims. Lil is only interested in making her business a success. Or isn't she?

Kimberly Raye's DEAD END DATING is a breath of fresh air to the genre of paranormal chick lit! Lil's obsession with her clothing is humorous but her heart of gold is what makes her likeable. Lil can't resist trying to make uber-geek vampire, Francis Deville, into a super hunk resembling Brad Pitt and the results are laugh-out-loud hysterical!

DEAD END DATING is reminiscent of the early Betsy books by MaryJanice Davidson as Lil is definitely a fashionista with plenty of attitude. Lil tends to stumble her way into success, but her kindness, even towards her human secretary, make Lil memorable. Francis, however, steals the show as who can't help but love a vampire who enjoys scrapbooking and idolizes Bob Barker? DEAD END DATING is a lighthearted and delightful foray into the world of the vampire.

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