Customer Reviews

Deadly Weapons

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

The Queen of Exploitation, Doris Wishman, brings us one of her most successful films and her most popular female superstar, Chesty Morgan (billed in this movie as "Zsa Zsa"). Where in the world did Doris Wishman find Chesty Morgan? I'm sure there's a story there. Chesty is clumsy throughout the film, she has zero talent as far as acting ability is concerned and she looks as if she is absolutely miserable in practically every scene. Her teeth are hideous, her wigs are tacky, and whomever it was that told her to get dressed for every scene in the closet in the dark should be ashamed of themselves! As is the trademark for Doris Wishman movies there are many shots of feet, lamps, and other such inanimate objects for no apparent reason (often the camera will zoom in on Chesty's monsterous breasts) but all of this makes the film more appealing in a strange and bizzare way. The plot is simple...after the mob kills her boyfriend, Crystal (played by Chesty) goes on a rampage and murders his killers using the only weapons she has....her 73 inch breasts! Yes, she actually suffocates her victims between her ample bossoms in mind boggling murder sequences that must be seen to be believed! This film was so successful that it spawned a pseudo-sequel titled "Double Agent 73" which also features Chesty and is directed by Wishman.

Yes, by any normal standards this film is badly made, unintentionally hilarious, a great cult classic, good for a laugh and so on. It's all true and you must see it for these reasons.
However, if you love very well endowed women, then you will worship Chesty. The sequence when she strips down to pantyhose and girdle is to my mind the most erotic thing I've ever seen.
Subjectivity is truth - if you love bountiful natural bosoms and sensible underwear this film rules ! If you don't dig these things, don't criticise this viewpoint, stick to your own tastes...the world is big enough for all of us.

Doris Wishman's mind-numbingly bizarre showcase for the gargantuan talents of veteran stripper Chesty Morgan cannot by any objective standard be called a good film, but it remains hilariously watchable. When Chesty's boyfriend (make that, sleazy middle-aged guy friend) is murdered, she takes revenge using the weapons God gave her. And yes, they are definitely nature's and not a surgeon's handiwork; her staggering frontal development saggingly shows the effects of gravity and every minute of Chesty's then 40-something years. The sight of our fleshy, blank-faced heroine raising her flabby arms and somnambulently lurching towards her victims like a classic movie monster before smothering them to death in her yawning cleavage is not something you'll soon forget. Multiple viewings are recommended in order to fully appreciate the hideous 70's fashions (dig those shoes!), tacky motel room "sets", tinny post-synch sound and hilariously inept camera work, all of which combine to form an ineffable grindhouse gestalt. Ms. Wishman may not have been a competent filmmaker, but she was certainly an unforgettable one.

After years of searching for this one on video, I was lucky enough to find two. This past year I upgraded my collection to DVD and thought this would be a lost cause to find, but YES! I found it! With little effort I might add. I first saw this movie at the drive-in as a kid playing with "Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS." What a double (and do i mean DOUBLE) feature.

This film exists onlt to show off its stars endowments. She uses them to seek revenge on her husbands killers. A great concept. Ex-porno star Harry Reams (who is equally endowed a little more south) helps her seek revenge. The acting is wooden, almost zombie like. The direction is nill, but with a sense of a documentary-style of the 70s. Thats OK. This is a revenge flick, much in the same vein as "I Spit On Your Grave," and "Don't Mess With My Sister."

Its full of campy charm. Not much else really, but it is like a car wreck. You can't help but watch because its so repulsive and oddly entertaining at the same time. Not in everyones taste, but those into cult films and drive-in sexploitation fare of the 1970s should find this rare entry in the "Something Weird Video" line will want this in their collection.

Don't get me wrong folks... there's no doubt about it... this film is a bonified stinker... however, its bonified stinkers like this that can lighten up any dull evening at home (or even better, if you're that age, at the dorm) - - just get out a few beers, pop this one in the player... and let the jaws drop and lude conversations flow. - - Though Ed Wood is often described as the worse film director of all time (and John Waters achieved his greatness by trying to be) - - after seeing this film, I'm sure you'll agree that there's Bad as in Ed Wood and Dwain Esper... and downright awful as epitomized by the late great Doris Wishman. - - But don't get me wrong : I'm glad she walked the planet... she tred gound few others had the guts to. Let's face it : while perhaps a John Waters, Russ Meyer or Pedro Almodovar might have had the guts to make a tongue in cheek film about a lady who's mountainous boobies were her deadly weapons, who but Doris Wishman could have done it so... well so *un*campily... This is a typical trademark of Doris Wishman's films... - - While an Ed Wood Film will make you laugh, Waters puke and Russ Meyer run for a cold shower, expect none of this from a Doris Wishman film... no matter how much nudity or violence there is... no flinching, no gasps... and no woodies... yet, despite the absence of this, your jaws will drop at times... and that my friend is art... unintentional perhaps... but art nonetheless... Rumor has it, incidentally, that Chesty has gotten a breast reduction and is now a serious stage actress (...*not*)

Chesty Morgan (real name Lillian Wilczkowsky but billed here as
simply Zsa Zsa) and her 73" bust made their movie debut in this
cult sleaze classic by schlock-shock director Doris Wishman. In
this sexploitation tale Chesty uses her gargantuan chesties to
smother the bad guys who killed her lover. What a way to go! At
least it's a novel idea -- the only one in this bizarre film. The
image and sound quality are pretty good.

This DVD has few things to recommend it except the movie itself.
Just a theatrical trailer for the movie and its sequel, Double Agent
73, a chapter index, a silent montage of posters of other Wishman
efforts, and a short subject called "Breast Development" which
looks like it was transferred from a poor quality 16mm film from
the `50s. It's rather tepid but of some interest.

The main interest is, of course, Chesty herself and her incredible
endowments, which she displays here at every opportunity. Don't
miss this one, if you're a fan of really huge "talents," or of
`70s-style fashions -- remember those bell-bottom pants?

The transfer is good and everything technical about the DVD was fine - Something Weird usually does a good job and I have lots of their other titles (both on DVD and tape). But this movie is just awful. Chesty Morgan (billed as Zsa Zsa) looks so miserable during the movie it is painful to watch. Obviously nobody expects brilliant direction or camera work from a Wishman film, but her habit of focusing on something inane like a lamp while two people are talking gets irritating after a while, even if youre watching it because its bad. Bad Girls Go to Hell is slightly less awful if I had to choose. If youve never seen a Wishman film, rent one before plunking down 20 odd bucks for a DVD.

It's ok for the time period that it was made. The acting is ok and I really think there was a plot but the sound wasn't good on my dvd to make a rash decision. It was an entertaining movie and would recommend renting it first before buying so you don't get disappointed.

My first exposure to this exposure was in my teens when a male friend and I went to a drive-in movie. We were similar in that our breast experience was limited to suckling at our mother's breasts or accidental encounters with a bare female relative. Therefore, we were both big-time gaga over the "bigtime" gaga's that appeared so often on the screen. Every possible excuse (and many times without one) is used to fix the camera on Chesty's massive mammary glands. In our teens, we used to joke about girls that could be dangerous if they spun around quickly, but with Chesty it may not all be a joke. She is huge and saggy.
Other than that, this movie has practically nothing going for it, the plot is slow, dull, and it meanders back and forth from plot movement to breast movement. It is difficult to determine which is worse, the acting or the dialog. Fundamentally, Chesty's boyfriend is killed by mobsters, so after a good soaking of her bare breasts by her tears she vows to seek revenge. She then tracks them down one-by-one and kills them by smothering them with her bare breasts. "If you're gonna die anyway . . ."
This movie is really bad, suitable only for reliving a high point of your youth or as an element of a bad movie festival where you invite some close friends so that you can all hoot at the hooters.

A friend of mine gave me this as a gift -- I'm not sure if I should thank him or not. Oh man is this bad. I've only been able to sit through it once, with said friend for moral support. On a funny side note, I used to work with a guy who I wanted to see "Kentucky Fried Movie" (which is an INTENTIONALLY funny film). When I brought that movie in to work for him to borrow, I also brought in this one, as a joke to lend him. Well, he watched THIS but never watched "Kentucky Fried Movie". Go figure.