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Deal Breakers: When to Work On a Relationship and When to Walk Away Paperback – May 6, 2008

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Frequently Bought Together

Deal Breakers: When to Work On a Relationship and When to Walk Away + The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted... But Chose to Ignore + The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Gallery Books; Reprint edition (May 6, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1416961062
  • ISBN-13: 978-1416961062
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (116 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #40,931 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews


"Renée Raudman is perfect for this production. She delivers...with emotional balance and an intimate sense of authority over the material." ---AudioFile --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

About the Author

Bethany Marshall, PhD, PsyD, MFT has been in private practice as a marriage, family, and child therapist in both Beverly Hills and Pasadena for the past eighteen years. She regularly appears as a contributing psychological commentator on Good Morning America, The Early Show, and Leeza Gibbons's nationally syndicated radio show, "Hollywood Confidential," and is a weekly commentator for Nancy Grace on CNN Headline News.

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Customer Reviews

This book was easy reading and very enjoyable.
Lisa Hobert
It was too general and seemed like a regurgitation of other books I've read.
Lilo ATX
This book can help immensely if you are in an abusive relationship.
T. Cambau

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

125 of 133 people found the following review helpful By Cedric's Mom VINE VOICE on September 15, 2007
Format: Hardcover
I read this book over the weekend. I was hurting, I wanted help and a friend had recommended this one. Although I already knew the relationship was a deal breaker from the gate and it was already over, I wanted to learn something about the mess I'd gotten myself into, and self-help books can definitely open the eyes. Love may be blind, but our eyes are widest open after we've just broken up with someone. That's the best time to read this book. Strike while the pain is fresh.

Dr. Marshall looks at 5 deal breaker categories, and articulates in plain English the problems and trouble signs. She also presents personal stories (you'll be able to relate) and deal breaker scenarios that she breaks down into "work on it" or "walk away." If your relationship shows up in these pages, you've got yourself a deal breaker. I find great comfort and relief in recognizing my situation on the page--if it's common enough to be included in a mass market publication, then there are a lot of folks out there in the same situation as me! Misery loves company? No; I'm just relieved to know I'm neither crazy nor alone in this. She also gives first impressions, warning signs, more warning signs, even more warning... you get the picture. For self-reflection, she includes the section "Who chooses this type of man?" There's also a chapter called "Getting off the merry-go-round" and 11 signs that you're on one. The book rounds out with tips on negotiating a new deal and breaking the deal when you have to.

This book helped me and I'm glad I read it right at the end of the relationship, because I was able to quickly recall the ex's hurtful behavior. After awhile, this won't hurt anymore, but if I forget what I went through, I'll do it again with a different man. That's why I say read while the pain is fresh, highlight and underline heavily, and make or break the deal.
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143 of 162 people found the following review helpful By Sunny on May 13, 2007
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I am 50-something yrs. old and have been in a tumultuous marriage for the past 20 yrs. I can only say that this book is one of the BEST relationship books I have ever read - and believe me, I've read them all! If you have ever wondered what was wrong in your relationship but couldn't quite put your finger on it. Or have constantly asked yourself, "Is it ME?" Then this is the book to read! I can't tell you how clearly it's written, and how enlightening it is if you happen to have a man in your life that fits into any one of the five categories outlined in this book. (Mine happens to fit three categories like they were written about HIM!). It has been extremely helpful in not only informing me of the behaviors that go with each personality type, but precisely how to recognize them, approach your mate about them, and thank God, how to DEAL with them. It's the first book I've ever read that actually lays out guidelines for all the steps you should follow to get things moving in a positive direction. Or, if you finally recognize that you have a disconnected, shutdown, or unevolved type of mate that can't or simply won't cooperate, then there's no question that it's time to walk and get on with your life! I think we've all had these crossroads in our lives, but the information in this book really helps to identify things that you really shouldn't have to live with, and gives you strength and confidence to actually do something about it instead of wasting your life in a futile state of hope. I would absolutely recommend this book to all women who have ever struggled in a relationship, even if they think these "categories" couldn't possibly be about their man. (It might really surprise and help you). Likewise, I think every mother should provide it to their daughters as soon as they start dating seriously. If I'd had this book at any point in my life before now, I'm sure I could've avoided alot of stupid mistakes and heartache.
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100 of 112 people found the following review helpful By Avid Reader on May 1, 2007
Format: Hardcover
Dr. Marshall delivers on her promise to help you decide whether you should work on your relationship or walk away. I saw her talking about this on Good Morning America. Once I read the book, and realized that my husband was the 'Little Boy Who Poses as a Man' (one of the five personality types that leads to a deal breaker), I stopped rescuing him, because I realized that I was feeding into his childlike behavior and he actually started taking some responsibility for himself. But I also realized that I had turned into a guilt-driven mother who felt obligated to save him from himself.

The author includes an analysis of "What kind of woman would pick this type of man". I'm guilty-because her description and analysis of me certainly applied.

Dr. Marshall writes about five personality types that cause 80% of the problems: The Scriptwriter (he casts you into a role and forms assumptions about you), The Man in Charge (he wants to control you), The Man Without Fault (he gets his feelings hurt and goes on the attack whenever you try to express your feelings), The Invisible Man (he's more connected to his computer, sports games, etc., than to you) and The Little Boy Who Poses as a Man (like a little boy - he does all the taking while you do all the giving).

I will be having a blast passing this book around to my friends while we figure out what categories our men fall into. One of my friends heard the author on Gayle King's (Oprah's friend) radio show in a longer and informative interview and bought the book for the same reason.

I strongly recommend that you read the book and discover what your man's personality type is. This book has given me a road map for change.
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