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Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life: Setting Boundaries on Unhealthy Relationships Paperback


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Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life: Setting Boundaries on Unhealthy Relationships + Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day + Boundaries Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (February 1, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0736918418
  • ISBN-13: 978-0736918411
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (55 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #48,718 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

With more than 35 years of counseling experience, David Hawkins, PhD, has a special interest in helping individuals and couples strengthen their relationships. Dr. Hawkins' books, including When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You and Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life, have more than 350,000 copies in print.

More About the Author

Dr. David Hawkins has been counseling for over thirty years and is the author of more than thirty books, including the best-selling series, Your Pocket Therapist. He is also the weekly advice columnist for both Crosswalk.com and CBN.com. Dr. Hawkins founded the Marriage Recovery Center and owns Pacific Psychological Associates with offices located throughout Washington State. He lives on Bainbridge Island, Washington, with his wife, Christie. Visit him online at http://www.yourrelationshipdoctor.com.

Customer Reviews

This is a great book to help me keep my boundaries in dealing with the CrazyMakers in my life!
Ellen
Dr Hawkins has some interesting things to say here, and does a good job of identifying the people in our lives that make us feel like we're going crazy.
S. Levanduski
Written in easy to understand language and also from a Christian perspective, I found this book very insightful and thought provoking.
Moira

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

74 of 74 people found the following review helpful By Mommaw on March 15, 2010
Format: Paperback
I absolutely enjoyed this book. It has cleared up many thoughts feelings and perceptions and given me the best clarity on the CRAZY MAKERS that we encounter and have to cope with in life. This wisdom and spiritual strength in Davids wealth of knowledge book hits right on and gives clear direction as to how to cope and handle the CRAZIES while keeping your sanity. The best way is avoidance in any situation but often that is not a given path so being informed and equipped helps you maintain your pace and joy in the midst of chaos and the crazy-makers tactics.

I am sharing the best parts of the book that I enjoyed.
Page 43 Don't feel, Don't hurt. Don't talk about problems.
This is the definition of a crazy-making world because our emotional well-being actually hinges on our ability to talk about problems, share painful and joyful emotions, and state clearly what we are seeing. To learn to be numb is the beginning of craziness.

A large part of the answer, for both the crazy-maker and for family members and friends, is to "come-alive", to turn on our "chaos detectors" and recognize when we are numbing ourselves instead of sharing our feelings. This includes regaining the ability to speak and rename the truth. We cannot do this if we are numb and entrenched in denial or if we are firmly enmeshed in the crazy-maker's world. Healing begins with the smallest step of awareness.

Page 46 The Egotist
One who immediately launches into a conversation about himself- the ones so full of themselves that they have little room for you. Having a balanced conversation with them is impossible.
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90 of 92 people found the following review helpful By Midwest Book Review on June 8, 2007
Format: Paperback
Written by Dr. David Hawkins, a counselor of more than 30 years' experience, Dealing With the Crazy Makers in Your Life: Settling Boundaries on Unhealthy Relationships is a no-nonsense guide to dealing with the people who literally drive one crazy - whether they are spouses, other family members, co-workers, or anyone else one has to interact with on a regular basis. Chapters cover different individual types with flaws that can induce mind-crunching headaches, including aggressors, egotists, borderlines (those who appear rational but may explode at any moment), sufferers/martyrs, and rigid control freaks. The true value of Dealing with the Crazy Makers in Your Life lies in its practical, no-nonsense advice for coping with such people: the importance of setting boundaries; how crucial it is to never bluff and always follow through on any rules or promises; the value of letting an irresponsible individual suffer the consequences of his irresponsibility rather than clean up after him; and more. "Crazy-makers lack boundaries. They have a way of manipulating us into saying more than we are comfortable of saying and doing more than we want to do. We catch ourselves too late, after we've already spilled our guts. We must learn the importance of privacy." Though there are Christian elements within Dealing with the Crazy Makers in Your Life, such as recommendations to pray and spend time in the Word, Dealing with the Crazy Makers in Your Life is primarily a problem-solving self-help guide for readers of all backgrounds and faiths. Highly recommended.
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36 of 37 people found the following review helpful By Penny McCreary on July 18, 2007
Format: Paperback
This book is a must read for anyone who wants to gain a greater insight on to how to deal with those toxic personalities that are in our lives. For anyone who has endured verbal abuse or wondered how communication in a third world country could seem more effective than on the home front, this book is so inspirational and positive. After reading Dr. Hawkins riveting text written in such a gripping conversational style, I felt as if I could finally build better emotional fences with people who were controlling, aggressive, borderline, narcissistic, or just plain overly dramatic. Proactive solutions and essential questions are given by the author to help his audience come to tackle the interpersonal demons that affect us all at home, at work, and even in our respective congregations. This book was a true beacon of hope and served as a positive catalyst for my own personal growth. I enthusiastically endorse this book to any clergy, layperson, or therapist in our country.
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30 of 31 people found the following review helpful By Holly TOP 500 REVIEWER on August 23, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is the third book I have read recently on the "crazy-maker" personality and how they impact those who are around them. Of the three, I think I liked this one the best but the other two were also very good ("Safe People" by Cloud and Townsend and "Who's Pushing Your Buttons" by John Townsend). Reading all three of these together was very helpful and validating. Each has a slightly different approach/theme, but worked together well and complimented each other.

This book has three main sections:

1) Crazy-Making People -- helps identify the crazy-makers in your life and the various varieties there are. All crazy-makers aren't the same. Some are aggressive, control freaks who make you crazy through their agression. Others are sufferers who drive you up a wall by their inability to deal with anything in life and are the victim in every situation. Other types are also identified so you can get a handle on why these folks get to you and drive you nuts.

2) Caught in the Crazy-maker's net -- talks about how these people hook you into their lives and draw you into their dysfunctional world. Great section for making sure you don't get trapped with these folks in the future

3) Breaking Free -- how to set boundaries with these people and identify ways to get out of the trap of craziness. Sometimes you stay and adapt in a way that is healthy and sometimes the best solution is to leave.

All of this material is covered with a sense of balance that the reader has enabled this unbalanced relationship in some way and has a part in it. At the same time, the book doesn't in any way let the crazy-maker off the hook. They are responsible for their actions and need to reap what they have sown through their crazy, nutty behavior.
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