Dealing With People You Can't Stand [Paperback]

Rick Brinkman (Author), Rick Kirschner (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0070078386 | ISBN-13: 978-0070078383 | Publication Date: August 1, 1994 | Edition: 1

Do you know people who try to intimidate you? Or who waffle about decisions? Do you ever get tired of hearing, "That won't work," or "It's not my fault"? Now devotees of Brinkman and Kirschner's seminars and tapes can enjoy their insights in book form, while new fans discover the duo's tested techniques for bringing out the best in people at their worst. With wit and wisdom, the authors identify the 10 types of difficult people on the job-including tanks, snipers, grenades, know-it-alls, and think-they-know-it-alls. Step by step, they show exactly how to get results with each.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Whether at work or at home, we all have to deal with people we can't stand to be around. Our challenge is to develop creative ways to handle these difficult people. Brinkman and Kirschner, both doctors of naturopathic medicine and professional speakers, have just made our job easier with this lively guidebook, in which they identify and explore the psychological roots of ten specific behavior patterns that represent normal people at their worst. Realizing that changing oneself is more realistic than changing the behavior of others, the authors provide a variety of communicative skills that we can cultivate in ourselves to turn conflict into cooperation. Finally, Brinkman and Kirschner (How To Handle Difficult People with Tact and Skill, McGraw, 1994) illustrate how to use these skills with each of the ten problem behaviors. While all problem behaviors might not fit nicely into one of their ten categories, the authors do provide a dynamic assortment of interpersonal communication tools for managing most difficult people. Highly recommended for all libraries.
David R. Johnson, Louisiana State Univ. Lib., Eunice
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From the Back Cover

How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst!...Now Totally Revised for a New Generation of Bothersome Behaviors

Since this best-selling book first appeared, the world has changed dramatically.

Technology has spawned a whole new breed of annoyances. From cell-phone chatters to E-mail spammers to voice-mail hogs, life today is filled with even more people you can't stand!

It's the guy in the supermarket line who is talking on his cell phone instead of unloading his cart...

It's the E-mail "buddy" who jams your in-box with annoying jokes, petitions, and other junk mail...

It's the boss who behaves like a bully and a petty tyrant, and has the power to get away with it...

It's the co-worker who promises results, but never delivers when the chips are down...

At best, such people can make life stressful and unpleasant. At worst, they can keep you from achieving important goals. The good news is that you don't have to let them do either! It's fully within your power to bring out the best behavior in people who are at their worst.

Sound impossible? It's not. Just ask the millions who have benefited from Brinkman and Kirschner's proven, innovative approach to dealing with difficult people. From this one-of-a-kind guide, you'll learn:

• How to identify 10 bothersome behaviors, and deal successfully with each of them!
• How difficult people think, what they fear, and why they act the way they do.
• How to use advanced, sophisticated "listening techniques" to unlock the doors to people's minds, hearts, and deepest needs.
• How to cultivate nine "take-charge" skills that turn conflict into cooperation by reducing the differences between people.
• How to change the destructive behavior of the tank...the know-it-all...the grenade...the whiner...and many more!

--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill Companies; 1 edition (August 1, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0070078386
• ISBN-13: 978-0070078383
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.8 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (55 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,074,359 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

125 of 128 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best conflict book for managers PERIOD, November 19, 2002

By 

Mark A. Horstman (Fredericksburg, TX USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Dealing With People You Can't Stand (Paperback)

If you're a manager and have to deal with the day to day complaints and conflicts of a workplace, this is the best book I've read about it, without question.
I'm a leadership consultant and my firm spends a lot of time mediating conflicts and facilitating meetings where I have to get people on the same page. I have formal training in negotation, and mediation, and all that other more formal stuff. And a lot of it works. But the question I get asked over and over again is "what do I do when the conflict doesn't justify outside assistance? What about the DAY TO DAY conflicts - one of my people refuses to bend her schedule, another won't come in on time, another won't try to work with a sister department, my boss won't give me the resources I need." Well, this is that book. It lays out a simple concept of conflict (other people see things differently from you and therefore act differently), and then does something that SO FEW of the other books do: it tells you exactly what to say and how to say it. I have had my fill of books which tell me to "be nice" or "work towards a compromise". My response is, I know that, but how do I DO that? How do I keep the other person from popping off at me? THIS BOOK does that. It's simple - exactly right for line managers with DAY to DAY conflicts.

72 of 73 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Changed my career (for the better!), March 8, 2000

By 

Eric Leberg (Everett, Washington) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Dealing With People You Can't Stand (Paperback)

I'm a felony probation officer. I deal with difficult people. I applied the clear techniques provided with an offender described for years as "a real nasty guy...." by previous probation officers. The technique worked immediately, the man expressed appreciation saying "You are the first person in your department who ever understood me...I'll do exactly what you told me to do." I could relate scores of other times these techniques have helped over the years. Rick & Rick's set of tapes is also extremely helpful. You won't be sorry you learned this stuff.

105 of 111 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A book that really helps!, May 13, 2001

By 

DocRossow - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Dealing With People You Can't Stand (Paperback)

This is the finest book I've read on handling difficult people. As a training director for a large company, I've read many books on this subject, and trained interpersonal skills for years. This book is the CLEAREST, most practical book on the subject.

The ten types of difficult people are now in my vocabulary, and help me instantly size up a situation so I can handle it better. The authors detail practical steps to take with each style, making it easier to increase your confidence in difficult situations.

Most of all the authors encourage the reader to change his or her behavior, and the last chapter even offers the idea of the reader being a difficult person, in order to further reinforce the skills that this book teaches.

A real winner, and a book that has helped my career and my sanity.