Dear Birthmother [Paperback]

Kathleen Silber (Author), Phyllis Speedlin (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1991

This is the third revised edition of the open adoption classic recommended by the Child Welfare League of America. Gently provocative, warm and convincing, this open adoption guide includes actual letters between adoptive parents and birthparents, and between the latter and the children they have

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Kathleen Silber was born and reared in Stockton, California, graduated from the University of California at Davis and received her Master's degree in Social Welfare from the University of California at Berkeley. She is nationally known for her pioneering work in open adoption. Kathleen and her husband and two children live in California, where she is Associate Executive Director of the Independent Adoption Center in Pleasant Hill.

Phylis Speedlin, a native of Steubenville, Ohio, attended the Presbyterian School of Nursing in Pittsburgh and received her nursing degree from Incarnate Word College in San Antonio. After four years as a U.S. Army nurse, she took a law degree and practices now in San Antonio. She has two daughters who entered her life through adoption.

Product Details

• Paperback
• Publisher: Corona Pub Co; 3rd edition (May 1991)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0931722209
• ISBN-13: 978-0931722202
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #53,044 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #47 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Adoption

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

49 of 50 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Gain invaluable insight into the feelings of Birthmothers February 6, 2000

By A Customer

I read this book when my eldest adopted daughter was three years old, and we had just adopted our youngest daughter. Reading this book opened my eyes to the REAL feelings of the birthmother. Especially revealing was the overwhelming response that birthmothers needed information and needed to know their birthchildren were happy and well. After reading this book, I wrote a letter to my eldest daughter's birthmother (passed through our attorney) She replied with a letter to give to our daughter at a later date, explaining, as only she could the circumstances regarding her decision. The letter has been invaluable in helping our daughter feel connected to and loved by her birthmother. Our eldest daughter in now 14, our youngest 11, and we continue to exchange letters through our attorney. Reading this book will help adoptive parents to help their children and honor their birthparents.

16 of 18 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A great book for anyone to read! January 2, 2000

By Meghan

This book is not only for birthparents, adoptive parents or people considering either! This book is a touching, wonderful book for anyone to read! My husband and I are highly considering adoption and I found this book both informative and easing. I was not sure how I would feel about a birthmother, but this book has taken me to a new level of understanding! If you thought birthmothers/fathers had no feelings, etc., YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK! The intense reality of birthparents and adoptive parents is so apparent in this book. It's a good book to sit down with your spouse and read together!

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Open adoption -- so many opportunities September 20, 2003

By A Customer

This book allowed my husband and I to understand the evolution of open adoption -- what we now believe to be natural adoption. More importantly, "Dear Birthmother" described adoption from the perspective of birthmothers, which was a critical viewpoint for us hear while we were trying to also understand the concept of openness in adoption. When we were first considering adoption, we thought we'd want a "safe" experience where we'd only meet the birthmom and then she'd disappear. This book helped us see the range of openness that might be possible, as well as how closed adoption might feel instead. After reading this book and sharing many conversations about the idea of openness, our child was born and we began to experience the growth of our amazing, loving extended family that included our child's birthparents and birthgrandparents. How lucky we ALL began to feel. Now, during the wait for our second adoption, this book reminds me of how sure we are of open adoption and the abiding respect we have for the birthmother of our first child born to us through adoption.