Customer Reviews

Dear Birthmother

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I read this book when my eldest adopted daughter was three years old, and we had just adopted our youngest daughter. Reading this book opened my eyes to the REAL feelings of the birthmother. Especially revealing was the overwhelming response that birthmothers needed information and needed to know their birthchildren were happy and well. After reading this book, I wrote a letter to my eldest daughter's birthmother (passed through our attorney) She replied with a letter to give to our daughter at a later date, explaining, as only she could the circumstances regarding her decision. The letter has been invaluable in helping our daughter feel connected to and loved by her birthmother. Our eldest daughter in now 14, our youngest 11, and we continue to exchange letters through our attorney. Reading this book will help adoptive parents to help their children and honor their birthparents.

I am a considering adoption for my child and I found this book to be very interesting. I will be entering into a semi-open adoption and I found this book to be hopeful and inspiring for me, to know that these birth and adoptive parents have established such wonderful relationships through their correspondence. I would especially recommend this book to anyone entering into a semi-open adoption and also to anyone who is skeptical about the positive aspects of open adoption.

This book is not only for birthparents, adoptive parents or people considering either! This book is a touching, wonderful book for anyone to read! My husband and I are highly considering adoption and I found this book both informative and easing. I was not sure how I would feel about a birthmother, but this book has taken me to a new level of understanding! If you thought birthmothers/fathers had no feelings, etc., YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK! The intense reality of birthparents and adoptive parents is so apparent in this book. It's a good book to sit down with your spouse and read together!

This book allowed my husband and I to understand the evolution of open adoption -- what we now believe to be natural adoption. More importantly, "Dear Birthmother" described adoption from the perspective of birthmothers, which was a critical viewpoint for us hear while we were trying to also understand the concept of openness in adoption. When we were first considering adoption, we thought we'd want a "safe" experience where we'd only meet the birthmom and then she'd disappear. This book helped us see the range of openness that might be possible, as well as how closed adoption might feel instead. After reading this book and sharing many conversations about the idea of openness, our child was born and we began to experience the growth of our amazing, loving extended family that included our child's birthparents and birthgrandparents. How lucky we ALL began to feel. Now, during the wait for our second adoption, this book reminds me of how sure we are of open adoption and the abiding respect we have for the birthmother of our first child born to us through adoption.

I first read this book in 1988 when i was pregnant with my first child at the age of 15. The author of this book wrote it so well and it helped me through a very rough time in my life. I recommend this book to any one in the adoption triangle.

I was one of many birth-mothers who received a copy of this book when considering open adoption. It seemed to be written for the adoptive perents to persuade them into open adption. The Open Adoption Experiance and The Other Mother are much better choices for birthmothers, and really give them the information they would need to make an informed choice.

This adoption classic is a wonderful view into the post placement, lifelong relationship between all members of the adoption triad. It is not, however, a guide to writing the pre-placement, "dear birthmother letter" that potential adoptive parents must create. For that sort of help, look to Nelson Handel's also wonderfully written "Reaching Out," which provides valuable insight into the process of open adoption for those setting off to build a family in this way.

My husband and I originally were very scared of the idea of an open adoption. This book helped us to understand that open adoptions are healthy in all aspects of the adoption triad. Birthmothers feel more secure in their decision because they have fairly regular letters/pictures delivered to them, showing them that their child is healthy and happy. The adoptive parents virtually never have to answer their childs questions about the adoption with "I don't know" and the adopted child doesn't have to wonder where he/she is from and why they were "given up." This was the most wonderful book that my husband and I read - and we have read a lot (b/c, by the way, my husband is also adopted, but with a closed adoption). He and his sister have sustained a lot of heartache searching for their birthfamilies, and this book helps adoptive parents to deal with all of the fear that they feel when dealing with an open adoption.

As a birth mother I received this book from my son's adoptive mother. Reading through the pages was like reliving my experience all over again, but this time my tears were of joy. Thank you for creating a book that acknowledges bmoms & lets them know that they aren't alone even if it does feel like it.

This book was given to me by our adoption agency, back in 1988. I found it very informative and an emotionally powerful book. This is a classic and a must read for anyone in the adoption triad particularly anyone new to adoption. There are so many feelings and emotions in adoption for everyone involved and this book reveals those true emotions and helps the reader develop an understanding of open adoption.