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Dear Coca-Cola: A Customer Relations Nightmare. [Kindle Edition]

Terry Ravenscroft
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (120 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $3.99
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Book Description

Putting pen to paper with hilarious results, in Dear Coca-Cola Terry Ravenscroft homes in on the Food & Drink industry. Household names such as Heinz, McDonalds, Tesco, Kentucky Fried Chicken and those wonderful people at Coca-Cola are the targets for his entertaining epistles, resulting in a laugh-out-loud letters book with a difference. Is he really a fan of Butcher's Dog Food? (For him. not his dog.) And you really don’t want to know what he asks Jacob’s Biscuits for! But you will when you’ve read his letters to them. You will never look at the contents of your refrigerator or kitchen cupboards in the same way again.

Amazon Reader's review -
"Do not read this book whilst holding a cold drink, a hot partner or anything squeezable. The genius of this man’s writing is a beautiful thing to read, dry, sharply observed and above all cheap as chips on kindle downloads. As funny as ‘Dear Air 2000’ but without the lasagne although you will never be able to look at Bisto gravy granules in quite the same way ever again. Whatever you do download this and help keep Terry Ravenscroft in Oxfam trousers and 2 bottles of white wine." Lee Sylvester.

Product Details

  • File Size: 871 KB
  • Print Length: 222 pages
  • Publisher: Razzamatazz Publications (January 2, 2014)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0052XP1AE
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #293,854 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars best abs workout-full hearty belly laughs January 30, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The title caught my eye, and after reading reviews claiming out loud laughter I decided to give it a try. Glad I did-a lot of out loud laughter, the best kind of ab workout. After the kids are in bed it's my me time to read, and upon reading this book the other night my kids kept calling from their rooms to be quite, can't sleep, and what's so funny- accompanied by loud sighs and the meant to be heard tossing. (mom's laughing without them.) I tried really hard to stifle my out burst of out loud laughter without success, so my kids suffered for about 30 minutes before I put the book down. I'm thoroughly enjoying this book.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars So very funny! January 20, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Mr. Ravenscroft has written an amazing book in "Dear Coca-Cola". I found myself laughing out loud constantly as I read it. The book is a series of letters that Mr. Ravenscroft has written to various companies and includes their responses to him. Before you say, "Now that sounds silly", do yourself a favor and download the sample and find out just how fun this book is. You will be hooked after the first few pages and will want to buy it. I give this book 5 STARS and I look forward to reading the rest of Mr. Ravenscroft's works. Kind regards. Dean Lappi
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22 of 28 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars It's okay March 5, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
While I do enjoy a good laugh, I found this book to be just okay. I did not laugh out loud, nor did I have Coca Cola coming out of my nose. I do think the author is a very clever writer and has comedic talent. While the book was amusing, it became almost tedious. It reminded me of the days when kids would call a store and ask if they had Prince Albert in a can - prankish, if there is such a word. If, in truth, the author did write actual letters to the various companies and the responses were actual responses, then I found myself feeling a bit bad for the food and beverage companies. Do they really have the time to respond to someone with such randomly odd requests and recipes? I think many responded with restraint and politeness, and their companies should be proud of them. All in all the book does provide humor and we can all use a bit of that.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Bland Humour September 4, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book is a collection of supposed letters from the author to various companies to complain or compliment them on a product or products. I found the humor spotty - at points it was inane and absurd and at other times, it was simply a mild chuckle. I did find it became monotonous after a while but I did find some phrases very funny.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars hilarious! January 27, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
filled with outrageously creative and funny letters between mr. ravenscroft and unsuspecting food companies.... i laughed so hard, my pepsi came out of my nose! truly brilliant (and now i simply must try cock of puddings!).
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars More Annoying Than Funny June 16, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
Right then. If Terry Ravenscroft was half as funny as he thinks he is, he'd be twice as funny as he really is - and even then he still wouldn't be that funny.

I read the free sample, and it was more than enough. To those who would indignantly exclaim, "That's unfair! One can't judge the whole book based on the free sample!" I reply, "Yes one can. That's the whole purpose of the free sample. And look at it this way: if one finds that the first bite of a sandwich is not to one's taste, one needn't consume the whole thing just to confirm that one really, really doesn't like it."


I'd suggest that you try the free sample. To me, it appears that Mr. Ravenscroft has more spare time on his hands than he has good sense, and he occupies that time by annoying customer service representatives who he knows can't reply to him with, "Why don't you fork off, you bloody great tosser, and quit wasting the time of the gainfully employed who are just trying to earn an honest living?"

If instead, you find it to be a screamingly brilliant, satirical comment on pop-culture consumerism, then good on ya.

The grammar, sentence structure, and editing are very good - hence two stars.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Funny Book! August 2, 2012
By Clark
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I am 75% done with his book and find it very funny. In fact I started writing letters to food manufactures and Coffee manufactures with funny results. Here is one to Chef Boyardee.

I love your Mini Ravioli's and have them 3 times a week. Unfortunately my wife hates them since they stain my shirts and now has me take my shirt off before eating them. Do you know how to get the stains out? Is there a proper way to eat them without getting them on my shirt?

Hello Clark,
Thank you for your email concerning our Chef Boyardee Mini Ravioli.

I really enjoyed hearing how much you and your wife like and use our Mini Ravioli and I am sorry to hear they get on your shirt when enjoying them! Although we do not have any recommendations, you are welcome to contact the Drycleaning & Laundry Institute (formerly International Fabric Care Institute) at:

Website: [...]
Ph: [...]
Local ph: [...]
Fax: [...]
Thanks again for your feedback, Clark. We really enjoy hearing from our loyal consumers and I hope you will continue to use and enjoy our products!

I hope you have a great day!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Repetetive March 28, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Could not finish this book because half way through I realised that this author just writes irritating letters to companies and does the same thing over and over and over and .... and then decided to publish them as a collection. The first few were amusing. The next few were not a surprise and by the time I got half way through I was plain irritatated. I imagined being some overworked PR person in a large company whose job it is to reply to this time-waster. No, not really worth ti.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars It was amusing as first, then it got tired ...
It was amusing as first, then it got tired very quickly. If you really want to read it, try to find it at a yard sale.
Published 1 month ago by Taker Park
5.0 out of 5 stars funny
A really clever, funny book
Published 3 months ago by millie
2.0 out of 5 stars Dear Coca-Cola is a boring book that I'm glad I didn't pay money for...
Dear Coca-Cola is a boring book that I'm glad I didn't pay money for it. There is nothing in it to make you want to read further.
Published 3 months ago by angelpeaches
1.0 out of 5 stars Not really funny
This was written as letters to different companies complaining about their products but the letters are pretty much from the same character that comes off as stupid or very... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Bibliophile
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious!
Honestly, I randomly downloaded this book to have something to read on the bus. It was either this or play Candy Crush until I ran out of lives. Read more
Published 4 months ago by ALopez
3.0 out of 5 stars Good customer service case-study
Good especially for people working in customer service, some useful "how-not-to's" included. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Cristiana
4.0 out of 5 stars Good Reading!
Sometimes finding a good non-fiction book to read isn’t always the easiest task. Even if it’s a subject I enjoy, oftentimes they end up being too dry for my liking. Read more
Published 5 months ago by LAS Reviewer
5.0 out of 5 stars If you're having a bad day!
Seriously, if you are having a bad day I recommend you read this short book. The stories are hilarious and well thought out. So if you need a pick-me-up--this is for you.
Published 6 months ago by On principal
5.0 out of 5 stars Really funny
I found this book so entertaining. It is light reading, but highly recommended. I enjoyed the book. It is a quick read, and very funny.
Published 9 months ago by Amos B. Cutler
1.0 out of 5 stars Boring
Not funny, really not funny, truly not funny at all, If I could give it less than 1 star I would
Published 11 months ago by Amazon Customer
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More About the Author

The day after Terry Ravenscroft threw in his mundane factory job to become a television comedy scriptwriter he was involved in a car accident that left him unable to turn his head. Since then he has never looked back.
Before they took him away he wrote scripts for Les Dawson, The Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise, Alas Smith and Jones, Not the Nine O'Clock News, Ken Dodd, Roy Hudd, and several others. He also wrote the award-winning BBC radio series Star Terk Two. He now writes humorous books, eighteen thus far with no signs of letting up. Three of them, Stairlift to Heaven, Dear Coca-Cola and Dear Air 2000 were in the top ten of the Kindle Best Sellers list at the same time.
Born in New Mills, Derbyshire, England in 1938, he lived there with his wife Delma and his mistress Divine Bottom (in his dreams) until earlier this year when he re-located to Ithaca, NY.

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