on May 20, 2012
This flick is an absolute blast. When you see a biker step over an empty PBR box to kick a dead nun into the bushes within the first two minutes, I'd say it's safe to say that you're in for a wild ride. Another reviewer accused this flick of 'bad taste." You say that like it's a bad thing. Dear God No flaunts its tasteless, violent, psychotic, bizarre excesses in the face of modern politically correct cinema. I'll try not to give anything away, but we get the repeated dead nun crotch punting, multiple decapitations, lesbian incest rape, Nazis, tampon shots, children being murdered, coke-line swastikas, and anything else you can imagine. If depraved weirdness and blood-soaked mayhem is your thing, prepare to experience cinematic nirvana. This isn't faux grindhouse filmmaking, this IS grindhouse filmmaking. Shot on film, the way the cinema gods intended. Get some buddies together, let the beer flow, and have a raucous good time watching this DVD. will you ever have more fun watching a flick? I say DEAR GOD NO! All hail the Impalers.
on July 27, 2012
After missing my chance see this movie at a convention for free I had no choice but to buy it. Its a bloody biker exploitation film filmed in Georgia full of boobs, booze, blood, guts, rape, guns and drugs. Add a stock '70s soundtrack and you have one hell of a film. It's like "Easy Rider" raped "Hobo With a Shotgun" then spit "Last house on The Left"(1972) in its face and they had a child that grew up to be called "Dear God, No!" I recommend it to anyone one that likes old school grind house style movies. See it!!
on June 12, 2012
A movie to bring out the kid in you!
Shot on film, Dear God No has the greasy feel of the great drive-in exploitation films of the 70s. It includes everything that made these scummy opuses so great, upping the cheap thrills ante to include more blood, more b**bs and more bizarreness than a daisy chain of Herschell Gordon Lewis, Dave Friedman and Andy Milligan could ever dream of. But Dear God No is hardly an artsy homage to 70s exploitation. It's the real thing, more extreme, more twisted, sicker, funnier and crazier than nearly anything that's ever b!tch-slapped the silver screen before. Unlike a lot of 70s grindhouse fare, though, Dear God No never has time to be boring or get stale. Long biker montage scenes are creatively shot so they never devolve into the kind of tired filler that Corman biker epics were known for. A seemingly endless scene with topless dancers in Nixon masks is still too short for my money. The characters are so sleazily charismatic that you never get tired of any of them, and deliver some of the most politically incorrect dialogue you'll ever hear. And the girls are all gorgeous, so what do you want from life? Dear God No is the farthest thing from slick modern "horror" films you'll find. It's a PBR-soaked, sweat-stained experience that makes special effects spectaculars like Saw seem like an episode of Mr. Bean. Viewing it would feel like a violation if you weren't having so much fun. So take a road trip with the Impalers! Burn down the drive-in. Drink a mat shot. And shake hands with Bigfoot. It's more fun than a Hell's Angel initiation ceremony, and ten times as bloody.
on October 31, 2012
.....it's supposed to finish with "Yes" but some dude, whom I now hate, stole it. Have you ever wondered what would happen if Krug from Last House on the Left decided he wanted to start a biker gang, and then sieged upon the house of a now nazied up Roger Patterson? Me too. Thankfully the cast and crew of this sleaze fest thought it high time to answer this plaguing question.
Dear God No! follows Jett and his biker gang, the Impalers, on a booze-filled, mostly Pabst Blue Ribbon(something tells me that weren't exactly looking for product placement), and tampon-filled, romp accompanied with rape, murder, and excessive drug use, and more rape and murder. After a quick bit of patricide, the rapscallions seek out the whereabouts of a couple who made the mistake of crossing their path. But the gang is in for something much more than an impromtu cesarean as a creature waits patiently, well not so much patiently, this movie won't exactly be known for its slow-burning atmosphere.
This movie had me tingling like a little twihard salivating for the pasty skin of a metrosexual glittery vampire. It had it all. Nazis, dead nuns, cheesy dialogue, children being killed, (again)murder and rape, bigfoot, and topless hotties donning Richard Nixon masks. Why would a topless chick wear a Nixon mask, you ask? Why wouldn't they wear a Nixon mask? In fact, because of this movie any unfortunate woman crazy enough to end up with me will undoubtedly be exclaiming with passion the phrase "I am not a crook!". I almost forgot to mention the mother-daughter incest. Yeah! Now I got your attention! Man, if my mom was that hot I'd went dw....wait no I wouldn't. Mom, please stop reading this.
In all honesty, when I first heard of this movie I wrote it off as just another insipid Grindhouse inspired dv dreck, masked with an excessive amount of old film filters. Upon learning that it was actually shot on 16mm I had to recant my thoughts and check out the trailer. That's all it took. If you have an affinity for exploitation, flat out sleaze from the 70s, and the most politically incorrect humor, then this beautiful beast is for you, a sickening concoction of the different flicks you could find from this era neatly wrapped up in 80 minutes of pure debauchery. In short, would I recommend it? NO! I require it!! And if you refuse, well you've read the review so that would make you a witness, and we all know what happens to a witness.
on August 30, 2012
I guess I'm a "poor victim" of the Drive-In trashy cinema days when this sort of film played a lot....gotta be the white-trash in me? In the spirit of the old Hells Angels rip-off films where every biker was this raging sadist, to the fear of "Thrill Kill" events that can take place, it covers them all and while it was entertaining -- that little sane part of me kept cringing back..... a bit.......LOL
on August 25, 2013
FIRST THINGS FIRST THIS IS A WARNING HONESTLY. IF YOU DON'T LIKE/ENJOY TOTALLY CRUDE, RUDE AND LEWD AND OTHER GRAPHIC DISPLAYS OF THE LOWEST FORMS OF HUMAN DEPRAVITY COMIC OR OTHERWISE PLEASE...PLEASE DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE. Now let me tell you about the movie from my perspective. I an not going to give any details of the story away, but rather give you a brief overview. I don't watch this genre very often unless I think it might be good (we all know thats not very often) and with some much needed new material for the genre. The old and worn out material with the burping, passing gas, naked girls, drunkard's and stoners in their late teens to early twenties throwing the party of the century type of movies. In this movie they do break some new ground by mixing 70's biker grindhouse genre and with their brand of farfetched and grossed out humor and it worked for me in the first third of the movie, but after the second third it was getting old and wearing on my patience and by the last third I was thinking this just can't end soon enough, I had some good laughs in the first part and couldn't wait for more. What happened? I thought they were trying to pull the old "lets see who is the grossest" or see who will gets sick first. prank and for me it was that going astray that ruined the last two thirds of what started out as a grossed out funny movie. The movie does have plenty of the standard 70's biker material like "gas, grass or a@@" nobody rides for free and large helpings of twisted, gross, nudity, sex, perversions, gun play, knife play, foul language and violence in a black comedy. Was this worth the time? Sort of? Would I watch again? No. Maybe if I drank or used drugs the whole movie might have been funny with the first third falling out of my chair funny. Since I don't drink or do drugs other than Dr. prescribed I will never know. Darn it!!! 2 Stars
Rating 0 to 5 Stars
Story = 3 to 0 Starts out grossly funny, but falls sharply after 30 minutes (give or take).
Acting = 1 to 2 The acting is pretty bad intentionally or not with zero standouts.
Direction = 3 Director is no target for the first part of the movie, but looses focus soon after.
Fear/Creep Factor = 3 Has some good cheesy creepiness to it.
Gore = 3.6 Numerous silly and cheesy gore effects.
Sex/Nudity = Plenty/ Plenty of topless scenes too.
Foul Language = Everything under the sun and then some.
Entertainment Value = 2 The laughs and funny scenes kept gettingt farther and farther apart as the movie progressed.
on September 25, 2012
I was living my life as the oldest known virgin in the southern Tennessee area before I got this DVD! When this thing arrived to me it was when my life changed. There I was watching this manly movie that showed me that if I wanted something I should just walk right in and take it. I took that and I walked into the local bar when an older woman spotted me from across the room. Next thing you know there I was having my head banged against the table/couch in her small camper! She was about 60 and had three nipples but it still counts, right? I can still hear the sound of Conway Twitty's voice on her old record player. No sir, no more late nights of Showtime and a fleshlight for me. This movie bring strong power with it and everyone should own it and feel some of that power. I have now since been unable to shake the urge to sleep with as many woman as possible all while being dressed as Bigfoot. The movie is A++
on February 28, 2013
I wanted to buy this film however as I live in the UK and us adults are not permitted to view full uncut version of movies courtesy of the self appointed buffoons at our censor board I made damn sure I bought the Unrated and Uncut version on US R1 disc. Great film and thank you USA for releasing in it's entirety - US Rocks !
on October 30, 2012
My name is Lucio. I'm a 2 year old boy. I have the hairiest chest and back out of everyone I know...including my Italian father. About 3 weeks ago I had to get a transfusion. No, not for different blood, but for BEER! My little body has rejected my blood, and other blood transfusion attempts, and now I have good ole American PBR running through my veins. You might be asking yourself, "What does this have to do with 'Dear God No!'?"...It has everything to do with this movie.
I was just a normal toddler not long ago. Enjoying the likes of cereal as a snack, Yo Gabba Gabba on the tv, and going to the bathroom in my pants. Then, one day, my dad (who's account I'm using to write this) got a package in the mail. Upon inspection of the package, dad was stoked to find out that he had gotten none other than the new exploitation classic, "Dear God No!" He popped the disc thinking I was napping on the couch. What I witnessed, changed me completely. Sasquatch, naked ladies, beer consumption, mad scientists, nazis, naked ladies in rubber presidential masks...INSANITY on film!
After watching the film seveal times, I noticed my chest and back were growing hair at alarming rates. I had to get that transfusion I was talking about earlier, I no longer have the yearning for cereal as a snack, it's now beef jerky. I watch Russ Meyer flicks instead of Yo Gabba Gabba and I look like one of the Werewolves on Wheels from all this hair, it's crazy. My parents still don't know I can now talk, let alone type.
This film has made me a 2 year old MAN...with a micro brewery in my diaper. I heard my dad talking with his friends on how "Hell Ride" wishes it was like this. I saw "Hell Ride" once, and I gotta say, pops is 100% correct. So, if you're looking for a great exploitation flick, new biker flick... or something that makes you turn into the American man you were meant to be...This is that flick!
on January 20, 2014
Trailer looks good but movie is just plain stupid. I am a big fan of low budget, gory movies but thd lack of just one decent character and the complete lack of a plot make this movie one hour and fourteen minutes of crap that keeps you wanting to fast forward to a good part that sadly never comes. It's like the makers of this film made the trailer first and then tried to make the movie around the trailer but failed miserably. The worst Troma film is leaps and bounds better than this wannabe garbage. Anyone looking for a movie with more action, plot, politically incorrectless, T&A, gore, and humor need look no further than Poultrygeist! Poultrygeist gives you more in 5 minutes than this entire piece of steaming, maggot ridden, pile of bumshit give you in the whole damn movie! Go ahead and buy, you'll be kicking yourself in the end.