Customer Reviews

Dear Mom: Everything Your Teenage Daughter Wants You to Know But Will Never Tell You

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Melody's new book Dear Mom, is eye opening and comforting at the same time. On the front cover it says, "Everything your teenage daughter wants you to know but will NEVER tell you." How true is that! I did feel like these might be things my daughter would love to tell me, but wouldn't for fear of my reaction. It is crisp, gut level honest, and dynamic. I loved it.

God didn't send us an instruction manuel for parenting children, wouldn't that be nice! We soon discover as parents what worked for one child doesn't necessarily mean it will work with the next. We never get this parenting thing down pat. Thank you Melody, for writing this book about our daughter's hearts and lives; to help us remember what we went through as teenage girls. Oooh, the pain I remembered. Thanks for giving us hope in the middle of this pain.

This is not a book of "to do's" but a book that takes you to the real heart of our girls. It helped me have a deeper understanding and compassion for my daughter. She doesn't live such a carefree life after all. This book reveals teenage life today; it's heart felt and hysterical in parts. Here is a peek into a chapter Melody titled, "Things I don't like; don't like about me and things I don't like about you."

"When you were my age, did your mother approve of your appearance 24/7? I don't think so, but maybe I should talk to Grandma about this. I'm sure she'd have something to say."

"So are you starting to see that my life isn't as simple and fun and carefree as you like to believe? Are you feeling a tiny speck of empathy for me and girls like me, who are trying to find our way through this complicated, confusing, contradictory adolescent world, without being completely destroyed along the way?"

Here is a list of some of the chapters in this book. "Relationships confuse me sometimes, I need you but you can't make me admit it", "You say you listen but sometimes I just need you to hear.... I love how Melody Carlson wrote this book.

I know that I'll be referring to this book again and again; you will too. Melody gives great insight for moms to help develop a special relationship with our daughters. This will assist you in your attempts to stay connected with your teenage girl and figure out a few things about yourself along the way. Thank you Melody, for this very meaningful and sensitive parenting tool. It's a wonderful find and a great treasure.

Nora St. Laurent
Finding Hope Through Fiction
Book Club Servant Leader

Dear Mom -Everything Your Teenage Daughter Wants You To Know But Will Never Tell You by Melody Carlson
I just finished reading "Dear Mom, Everything Your Teenage Daughter Wants You To Know But Will Never Tell You" by Melody Carlson. It was an eye-opening read. It was written from a teen-age girl's perspective and I have to admit that it was spot on even though my teen age years were back in the 70's. It brought back a lot of memories of the confusion and social pressure of those formative years. I am sure that the pressures have amped up quite a bit since my teens.

It deals with how to give your daughter a compliment that she will actually believe. How to nurture confidence by your actions toward her. She is watching you so be authentic. Why do teen girls actually need those certain designer jeans. Proper protocol for dealing with your teen's friends and bad influences. How to ask her about everything. It is a must read and devour book for mothers of teen-age girls. Get it at http://randomhouse.com

Review (by Shari Dolleman):
Written from a teen daughter's perspective, this book is frank and forthright - sometimes even a bit "in your face." If you have a teen daughter, this is a good book for an "in her shoes" look at what it feels to be like a teenager... and what young girls need most from their moms during these transitional years.

Summary:
Every mom knows how communicating with a teenage girl can be difficult, even impossible at times. One-word answers. Defensive conversations. Daily arguments. How typical for teens to put up such barriers. All the while, moms truly long to know what their daughters really think.

Best-selling author Melody Carlson, whose books for women, teens, and children have sold more than three million copies, bridges this chasm with trusted insight. She speaks frankly in the voice of the teen daughters she's written for and she tells it like it is: struggles with identity, guys, friendship, and even parents--it's all here. The straight-talk to moms covers such things as "I need you, but you can't make me admit it," "I'm not as confident as I appear," and "I have friends. I need a mother."

Instead of focusing on outward behaviors, Dear Mom looks at a young woman's heart and reveals to moms:

how to talk to teens so they hear,
how to connect despite the differences of perspective or years and experiences,
and how strengthen the bond every mom and daughter ultimately wants.

The lively chapters in Dear Mom can be dipped into topically or used as a read-through tool by moms and daughters alike to understand what motivates or deflates, troubles or inspires--and just in time for Mother's Day and all the Mother's Days ahead.

Author Bio:
Melody Carlson is the award-winning author of more than one hundred books for adults, children, and teens, with sales totaling more than three million copies. Beloved for her Diary of a Teenage Girl and Notes from a Spinning Planet series, she's also the author of the women's novels Finding Alice (in production now for a Lifetime-TV movie), Crystal Lies, On This Day, These Boots Weren't Made for Walking, and A Mile in My Flip-Flops. A mother of two grown sons, Melody lives in central Oregon with her husband and chocolate lab retriever. She's a full-time writer and an avid gardener, biker, skier, and hiker.

Dear Mom by Melody Carlson is an invaluable book for mothers of teenage daughters. The book is written as a letter from a teenage daughter to her mother confessing the deepest needs and desires from her heart that your daughter will never actually reveal. First of all, I think that Carlson should cough up part of the proceeds to the actual author: my daughter. Because while Carlson's name is on the book, I swear that every word sounds as though it came straight from Molly's mouth! All kidding aside, Carlson nails the ambivalent, passive-aggressive, love you/hate you attitude that is second nature for teenage girls. And because it rings so true, I paid attention to every word. She offers solid advice about when to offer freedom and when to limit it, as well as the best ways to succeed at the nearly impossible task of not embarrassing your daughter. I gave the book to Molly to read to see if she agreed, and not only did she think that it sounded just like her, she occasionally pointed out specific passages to me that she wanted me to pay close attention to. I'm also a bit concerned that Carlson has a hidden camera in my house, because the section about Sisterly Love was taken almost word for word from an argument that took place a few weeks before I received the book. I definitely took those words to heart. I also counted several blessings in the reading, because while the author disavows ever confiding in her mother, Molly and I do have some real conversations, and now I know just how rare and precious that is. I cannot recommend this book highly enough, especially to moms who are struggling to get along with their daughters. Carlson lays out exactly what a girl's expectations are of her mother in a way that a girl could never really verbalize. I learned a great deal from reading this, and I know that Molly appreciated it.

If you are the parent of a teenage girl - or will be at some point - or if you know someone who is frustrated with their teenage daughter, Dear Mom by Melody Carlson is for you. Melody writes from the perspective of a teenage girl and this "teen" will speak directly to you, telling you what she thinks and feels and how she wishes you would act. Carlson has an uncanny ability to give voice to that frustrating teen girl and will walk parents through the minefield of hormones and impossible to win scenarios like when to treat her like a child and when to treat her like an adult and how to know the difference, how to deal with their body issues, get them to talk to you, and get them to listen. This book is an excellent resource to any parent of a teenage girl.

i am a teenage girl i read some of this book and it is so true i encouge you mothers to read this book if you have a teenage girl even if you think yall have a great realationship you dauther must be a excellent actor please read it will make you and your dauther happy

Very helpful insight into my daughter and several reminders of what it was like to be her when I was that age. Book waxes a little religious at times, but in general helpful with a variety of issues.

"Dear Mom," by Melody Carlson, is the perfect read for any mom who has moments of struggle or absolute frustration in her relationship with her teenage daughter. While I was never the stereotypical teenager I do think that any mom can find at least something to take from this book and strengthen her relationship with her daughter.

Carlson might have her teenage self stuck in her body, and for your benefit! Through this book she opens the door to a teenager's mind to the mother. Mom, if you read this book you will know what your daughter is thinking, how she does NOT want you to respond, and ways that will be useful in responding. Written as a letter from daughter to mother Carlson never loses the voice of a stereotypical teenager, even going so far at the beginning of the book to plead with mom to put this book down and not read it because it will not help, and mom's too busy anyway. So if you two got into a fight because she wants to go to the movies on Sunday but you want her home with you to spend time on Mother's day, go get this book!

I got this book from the library. It was so helpful in so many ways that I am going to now buy it for my own personal library. It really gets what is going on in a teenage girl's head. Plus, I remember what it was like to BE that teenage girl too!
This book offers tips on how to talk to your teen and hints for you as well on how to best relate to her.
It's invaluable if you have a teen girl. Much better than other "how to raise a teen and survive" books I've read.

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