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Dear Parent: Caring for Infants With Respect (2nd Edition) Paperback – February 25, 2015

4.7 out of 5 stars 32 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 100 pages
  • Publisher: Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE); Expanded edition (February 25, 2015)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1892560062
  • ISBN-13: 978-1892560063
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 1 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #85,587 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Top Customer Reviews

By A Customer on July 8, 2004
Format: Paperback
This is a good book to have if you have already read Your Self-Confident Baby, actually written by Magda Gerber, and are an enthusiast. It's a series of essays and talks given by Gerber and edited by someone else into a semi-coherent guide. It's the first book we read on the subject, and taking the theory of respect into practice has made a giant difference in our interactions with our son, but we were both annoyed by the occasionally hectoring tone. I have just finished the Self-Confident Baby, and found it to be more coherent, more comprehensive, more sympathetic, and all around more useful. I definitely recommend the RIE method to any new parent or grandparent, it's made a world of difference in the level of peace in our household with our (very) active son, but start with the other book.
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Gerber's recommendations for caring for infants are direct and to the point, without the "come on, just try it" tone that baby experts sometimes fall into. She doesn't need to talk me into using her approach because it struck me immediately on a gut level that if I were an infant, I would want to be treated this way. Heck, as an adult I want to be treated this way.
She recommends simple, profound gestures that you can use from day one to show your infant that her feelings and preferences are important to you. They include telling your baby what you are going to do before you do it [ie. "Mommy's going to pick you up now"] and other basic ways to connect with your baby as a separate being rather than an object.
I've read Dr. Sears, Burton White, Penelope Leach, and others. There's useful nuts-and-bolts stuff with those other authors, but Magda Gerber's "Dear Parent: Caring for Infants with Respect" is a must-have addition to your parenting library.
This book takes a couple of hours to read and will make a huge improvement in my approach to parenting.
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Magda Gerder's approach to caring for an infant with respect is a WONDERFUL approach to parenting. I am so glad I found this book. If you're looking for a parenting book from birth to age 3, GET THIS!!! It is worth reading!! The nuts and bolts to Gerber's approach is treating your baby like a person- with RESPECT. She explains the importance of observing, how to handle those "sticky" situations (for example when your child bits), and why it is important to talk to your baby. Gerbers idea of respecting an infant sounds "commen sense" but you realize when you read this how often parents are not necessarily "respectful". In this day of running here and there, Gerber slows us parents down and brings a true enjoyment to being parents. Her approach to parenting is not only respectful to the infant but also to the parent! In the end you have a child that respects you and you that respect the child- not so bad!! I have a truelly wonderful relationship with my daughter, thank you Magda Gerber. I highly recommend this book!
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Who would ever have thought that the same generation that produced super-authoritarian parents would also produce some of the most compassionate advocates of children!

Having been raised in a home that had measures of super-strictness tempered with some respect, I can say that Magda addresses all the things I wished for as a child: someone to let me know I was worth paying attention to, a lot of "permission" to do things for myself when *I* felt ready, and lots of compassion.

Ms. Gerber most definitely asks the reader to consider treating those newest among us with the same care and dignity that we treat our friends--BUT she does NOT advocate letting the little ones run roughshod over us. Instead, she reminds the adults to *be* the adult and care for their own needs as well as those of the children...and wonder of wonders she advocates a way that LOWERS the stress of all involved! Cheer, cheer!

This is a wonderful book to have in your "toolkit" of child-caring techniques, and I find that the chapters are short and easy to refresh me in my goals during a few minutes read. I would recommend it for almost everyone...but not for those who believe children are at heart evil little wretches filled with "original sin" that we must beat out of them. This book won't fit that philosophy.
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My wife and I followed Magda's philosophy (RIE) for our daughter since she was 3 months old. Now that she's almost 3 years old, all we can say is this book made us better parents, and as a result, our daughter is a healthy, self-confident and social child that she is today. Even our 6 hour drive from LA to San Franciso, she required no DVDS nor annoying noise making toys to occupy herself -- instead she was happy to entertain herself by singing, looking at the scenarios, and asking questions about what she saw. Many parents tell us how perfect our daughter is -- and it's all because of this book. If you follow this book, you realize that good parenting doesn't mean providing passive entertainment for the child, but to provide environment where she can grow at her own pace and explore the world as it meant to be. This book changed our life for better, and made parenting easy for the first time parents like us.
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