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Dearest Friend: The Life of Abigail Adams

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First off, cheers to the publisher for re-releasing this biography in light of McCollough's John Adams. But, then a jeer to the same publisher for not bothering to take the time to let a human proof the manuscript. (Hint: computer spell checkers don't find words that are spelled correctly but used incorrectly like "ad" for "and" and "as" for "has"). The number of typos in the author's text (not Abigail's unique spelling)is exasperating in places. Nevertheless, the book is a delightful read about Abigail's life, her love for her husband, her (sometimes overbearing) love for her children and most of all her love for her nascent country. Withey points out the many contradictions in Abigail's life: a woman who advocated improved education for women but was by no means the feminist many have tried to make her out to be; a woman who opposed slavery and saw that it would one day divide the country and yet who grew up in a family that owned two slaves. Having grown up in Braintree and Quincy myself the thing which spoke loudest to me was the deep-rooted Puritanism in Abigail's blood, the self-reliance, the willingness to completely subjugate her own happiness even allowing herself to be separated from her husband for the better part of ten years and the need to try to keep her children on the straight and narrow. Yet, Abigail is much softer here than the shrew portrayed in Nagel's book on John Quincy. You can help but admire her and feel sorry for the many trials she went through.

So I was disinclined to read it for a long time. I thought it would be a book of interest for only women. I was completely wrong. I won this book at a book fair years ago. It is not one I would have puchased on my own. I picked it up soon found myself reading it avidly. It is Abigail Adams' complete life story. A faithful, constant, patriotic wife for the cranky but brillant John Adams. Every bit her husband's intellectual equal, she was his most important advisor throughout his public life. She kept the family together during his long absences first in Philadelphia during the revolution & later in Europe. During these periods apart, once, over seven years, she raised the family, saw to the education of their children (Harvard for the boys) & ran the family finances quite well. All the time she was corresponding with John & we have many of her letters to him & others. After the war she spent several years with him in Europe. Although she was always loathe to leave her beloved New England, she knew she had to be with her husband to understand what he was trying to do, that is helping to build a nation. Her observations on the years spent in Paris & London are valuable social history. As mush as she was a revolutionary during the war, in her later years she turned into an uncompromising reactionary, unwilling to change & adapt to the evolution that she had fought to create. She became what she had fought against. Most of his career John Adams was unpopular & underappreiciated. This fact bothered Abigail all her life, more that it did John. How could anyone compete with George Washington, even if you were smarter than him? Eventually in her old age she mellowed. This was in part due to the sucessful career of her one of her sons John Quincy. She could be described as a earily feminist for sure. But for all her self taught political savvy, family always came first. Yes, there were Founding Mothers & she was. I fear very few people have read this book or will ever read this review. However, for the first person who reads it & gives me a positive vote I will send my copy, free, if you will read it, p&h included.

While in college I took an American History class because I wanted to, not because I had to. In the process of writing a paper on the role of women in the American Revolution, I found so many references to Abigail Adams, that I knew at some point in the future I would have to read her biography. Well, I just completed this book and I can't recommend it more highly!

With so many books regarding the Founding Fathers being touted at the bookstores recently, it's wonderful to read the story of one of the Women behind one of the Men. Though not traditionally educated Abigail's knowledge of politics, curiousity about everything, and affection for family and friends is well-documented through excerpts from her numerous letters. The sacrifices both she and her husband made for the fledgling America are a sober reminder of the courage and bravery required of our ancestors.

In a time when woman were subservient to men, she stood head and shoulders above other members of her gender. Her husband wisely depended on her counsel, love and care.

This is a wonderful biography that takes the reader back in time and place so vividly as to feel present at the birth of a nation and a voyeur into the unfolding political career of the second President of the United States and the woman who loved him.

I, too, wish American History had been presented this richly in my grammar and high school years.

After reading this book I would suggest reading "John Adams" by David McCullough, though quite lengthy, it is worthwhile to read the other half of the "conversation".

During the history of the United States there have been many women who have sacrificed just as much or more for their country than did Abigail Adams, but not many. Thanks to the voluminous correspondence of Mrs. Adams this book was made possible and should stand as a monument to all of these women.

In recent years the life of John Adams has been reexamined and his role in American history has again come to the forefront. Without Abigail, Mr. Adams could never have accomplished what he did. For unlike many of the other leaders of the Revolution, Adams was not a man of means. When he was away, someone had to look after the family's domestic concerns. That someone was Abigail. John became so accustomed to having Abigail to take care of home and hearth that when he did have time to see to such matters he seldom did.

This book details the work Abigail did behind the scenes to allow John to make his vital contributions to American independence. We see a strong woman who is more than willing to take charge of a given situation and make a decision. We also see however a wife who misses her husband. Abigail and John Adams are one of the true love stories of history. Their complete devotion to each other is amazing, especially in that the longer they were together the more in love they became. In the end becoming almost one soul in two bodies. Abigail's worst hardships didn't involve the work she did but the separations from John. Separations that lasted months and then years at a time.

Abigail is also shown in this book as a woman of strong conviction but also a woman of great contradiction. She and her husband helped make the American Revolution but she detested revolution as a threat to the social order. She believed strongly in a good education for women but still thought a woman's place was in the home. She believed the election of a Republican President would destroy the republic, but eventually became a Republican herself. Mrs. Adams was also probably a better politician than her husband was and while she had much influence on her husband, there were times when he paid no attention to her and ended up wishing he had. For example, it was Abigail who first saw the danger posed by Alexander Hamilton and it was Hamilton who in the end cost John the Presidency.

An excellent book but not complete. A much larger volume would be required to do this great lady justice. Still, it is wonderful that there is such a book at all for the women of that era are often forgotten. Abigail once advised John to not forget the ladies. Advise we should remember in the 21st century.

This is a beautifully written tale of an extraordinary 18th century woman. She was the wife and dearest friend of one US President and the mother of another. Her husband depended on her political acumen, and trusted her judgment. She was sometimes referred to as the old lady in the politics. She corresponded on business and politics with many men including Thomas Jefferson. Perhaps our first American feminist, Abigail Adams was full of contradictions.

As a staunch revolutionary, she foresaw the need for independence from England perhaps even before her husband, John. She advocated education and political freedom for women long before it was respectable to do so.

As practical homemaker, she worked the farm, raised the children, and handled the family finances including investments. Abigail liked investing in securities; John preferred land. They made investments in both. Her dependability in these matters secured the home front. This allowed her husband to attend the Continental Congress, sign the Declaration of Independence, serve as minister to France and then England, as well as serve as the first vice president, and then 2nd President of the fledgling USA. Without her shepherding the family finances, either the family would have been ruined; or the United States would have lost one of its great founding fathers.

As a post-revolution political conservative, she hated the republicanism of Jefferson, although she respected him as an honorable man. She foresaw the problems with the French Revolution before Jefferson and his Republican cohorts. She did not understand the criticism of the free press. She strongly advocated the Alien and Sedition Act, passed by congress during her husbands presidency. It addressed the two of what she thought were the serious threats to the security of the USA that of foreigners and criticism of the government by the press.

The paradox of Abigail Adams is that she had always established her identity through her husbands achievements. The author tells us that Probably Abigail would have been astonished to find herself transformed into something of a celebrity one hundred fifty years after her death. Yet surely she would have approved of the reasons for her fame: the interest of a later age in the history of family and domestic life, as well as the history of politics, and above all its interest in the emancipation of women and the discovery of women in the past who spoke out on behalf of their sex.

The beauty of this book is that Lynne Withey presents Abigail Adams as a real human being, not an icon. It is easy to understand why Abigail was Johns Dearest Friend.

I highly recommend this book.

Abigail Adams had an extraordinary life. Lynne Withey's book does a very good job exploring this smart, nearly self-educated, New England efficient woman who shared a strong passion for her country and its ideas just as much as her husband.
Withey begins the book by describing Abigail's (Nabby's) youth and what life was like growing up with her minister father on a parsonage in rural Weymouth, Massachusetts in the 1740's and 1750's. She relates how Abigail would spend hours reading in her father's extensive library. She would read authors from Shakespeare to Locke; and although such readings by young ladies in this time was not customary and even frowned upon, Abigail's father encouraged it. These were the seeds, that Withey demonstrates later, leads to Abigail's insatiable thirst for knowledge. In was in fact, these traits that attracted John Adams to marry her, and probably lucky for John, as she became his most important advisor and confidant during his political career. Indeed further into the book, Withey quotes one gentleman's disdain for a decision John as president made to assign a particular envoy to France, stating, "Wisht the old woman had been there; they did not believe it would have taken place."
Early in the reading Withey covers Abigail's life with John as a lawyer while the ideas of revolution began brewing, especially in Boston. Abigail was all for a final separation with Great Britain. But when John was called to the Continental Congress to discuss independence, Abigail did not want to part with him. Withey describes how Abigail so missed her partner in life while he was away. Abigail though, would never step in the way. She felt John's public duties were more important then her own personal happiness of having John home. This would become a life-long theme for her as John's duties took him half way around the globe. But Withey describes there were also benefits to Abigail from this; she could always get firsthand knowledge of political maneuverings and occurrences. Abigail's curiosity and want of knowledge allowed her to take advantage of her husband's situation by becoming a confidant and counselor to him during these historic times. Still the separations for Abigail from John were long and trying, especially when he went to Europe. The book does a wonderful job detailing the long years of events, thoughts of Abigail's loneliness, and her ability to run the farm and take care of John's affairs while he was away. Withey paves a real understanding of Abigail's talents for overcoming adversity. Many letters of correspondence between John, Thomas Jefferson, and family members, are quoted throughout. Later when Abigail finally joins John in Europe, the book relates what Abigail's perception of the Old World was. How she felt the French were too much into enjoying themselves, leaving nothing to get done. She felt Paris was dirty and longed for the farm in Massachusetts. Still Abigail enjoyed the experiences of traveling abroad. Also we learn of Abigail's feelings about Britain and the Monarchy. How she felt the pomp and procedure of the King's Court were at times ridiculous. Later, as the President's wife, Withey describes Abigail's concerns for her country. Abigail understood the importance of building a stable government during it's delicate infancy. We also learn how she was a bit prejudiced in thinking only John could stop the nation from falling apart. Withey gives good description on family relationships from the Adam's sons and daughter. Here again, many more quotations from letters of correspondence.
Overall, the book is an enjoyable read and very enlightening of this remarkable woman. Abigail always believed that women were equals with men in matters of intellect. In a time where it was not so, she felt women had a right to an education. But the book demonstrates that she would not go farther than the idea that a better educated woman makes a better wife and mother. Although, there were hints that perhaps privately she thought a little deeper about the subject.
I am glad I read this book and recommend it to others. It is certainly true that reading the biography of others adds much thoughts and perceptions of our own life and times. The only fault I have on the book, as another reviewer pointed out, is the amount of typos in the narrative text. Still, a very good and informative read.

I'll keep it short. I only wish that when I was in school history had been taught using tools like this book. It paints such a realistic view of life when our country was young. I felt as if I were there and knew (and liked) these people. They came more and more alive with every page. What an extraordinary woman with, despite the hardships, a relationship with her husband to be envied. I'm so glad it has been re-released. My present copy is second hand - there were no new copies to be had a few years ago. I recommend it without reservation!

My book club read this several years ago. We went on the read John Adams, 1776, B. Franklin, etc. DEAREST FRIEND was the best of them all. I was as engaged and interested on the last page as I was on the first.
If you are enjoying the HBO John Adams read this book next.

I am very happy to have read "Dearest Friend". It makes me sad that this kind of wisdom, courage, and selflessness seems to be lacking in our leaders today. I wish I had 1/4 of the courage Mr. and Mrs. Adams had. I am ashamed of my own lack of conviction and courage.
Read this book and "John Adams" if you need to be inspired to serve your country and learn how to love unconditionally.

I don't normally like biographies, but I thoroughly enjoyed this one. The author seemed to have a little difficulty reconciling some of Abigail Adams's religious beliefs with her desire for education, interest in politics, and outspoken character, but there is no conflict if you really understand the underlying religious concepts. I would recommend this biography to anyone interested in her life. It seems to be a well-balanced work.