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Death in Slow Motion : A Memoir of a Daughter, Her Mother, and the Beast Called Alzheimer's
 
 
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Death in Slow Motion : A Memoir of a Daughter, Her Mother, and the Beast Called Alzheimer's [Bargain Price] [Paperback]

Eleanor Cooney (Author)
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)


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Book Description

January 31, 2004

Azheimer's is death in slow motion," says Eleanor Cooney in this jarring and unsentimental memoir about caring for her mother, "and it has the ability to kill love while the person you love still breathes."

When it was all but certain that her once-glamorous and witty novelist-mother had Alzheimer's, Cooney moved her from her beloved Connecticut home to California in order to care for her. In tense, searing prose, punctuated with the blackest of humor, Cooney documents the slow erosion of her mother's mind, of the powerful bond the two shared, and her own descent into drink and despair.

"She was always my favorite person," says Eleanor, "hip, cool, brilliant, funny, sane -- my ultimate confidante and sympathizer." Now, overwhelmed by the Chinese water torture of endless small worries, endlessly repeated, that dementia thrusts on victim and caregiver, Cooney resorts to booze, tranquilizers, and gallows wit to blunt the edges of the relentless loss and the demands of ministering to this devastating disease.

But the coping mechanism that finally serves this eloquent writer best is writing, the ability to bring to vivid life the memories her mother is losing. As her mother gropes in the gathering darkness for a grip on the world she once loved, succeeding only in conjuring sad fantasies of places and times with her dead husband, Cooney revisits their true past. Death in Slow Motion becomes the mesmerizing story of Eleanor's actual childhood, straight out of the pages of John Cheever; the daring and vibrant mother she remembers; and a time that no longer exists for either of them.

Deeply moving, shockingly honest, and framed by wounded love, Cooney's tale reveals in remorseless prose the true nature of the beast called Alzheimer's, and with it, the arcane processes of the writer's craft and of a splendid mind's disintegration. "Alzheimer's," Cooney writes, "you'll never be the same once it's paid you a visit."

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

"Whoever said love is stronger than death was full of malarkey," comments Cooney, setting the forthright tone early in this honest account of taking care of a parent with Alzheimer's. In 1997, Cooney (The Court of the Lion: A Novel of the T'Ang Dynasty) and her companion, Mitch, both freelance writers, moved Cooney's 75-year-old mother, novelist Mary Durant, from her home in Connecticut to live near them in Northern California when it became clear that her mother's short-term memory was failing. A great admirer and loving daughter of her elegant, witty mother, Cooney suffered from terrible grief because she could not protect her mother from encroaching dementia. Durant's metamorphosis into a dependent, childlike hypochondriac occurred some years after the death of her husband. Cooney vividly describes the everyday physical and emotional stresses on her and Mitch, once her mother moved in with them, and highlights the lack of available resources for Alzheimer's patients who are not independently wealthy. Cooney and Mitch missed writing deadlines, began to drink heavily and nearly ended their relationship. When they could no longer manage her mother at home, Cooney placed her in several unpleasant assisted living residences, until Cooney managed to find her a reasonable place. A short story by Mary Durant is appended to this well-written, harrowing memoir.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Cooney has explored ancient China in novels like The Court of the Lion, but here she considers a current reality: her own novelist-mother's incapacitation by Alzheimer's.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • ISBN-10: 0060937971
  • ASIN: B000GG4FHM
  • Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,135,505 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

41 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
5.0 out of 5 stars (41 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars A Cautionary Memoir, March 6, 2003
By 
Dimitri Rimsky (Washington, CT United States) - See all my reviews
I have read Death in Slow Motion, and found it a provocative insight not only into Alzheimer's but more so into its effects on the lives of the people bound by love and duty to their loved one. Ms. Cooney has every reason to dwell on who her mother was, it is after all the central tragedy of the illness. Alzheimer's does not just kill someone, it disintegrates, it degenerates the very essence of the persona you know and love. We do not grieve for the loss of a body, we grieve over the loss of a person and with Alzheimer's we lose the person long before the body they inhabit dies. It is not only Death in Slow Motion, it is also Grief in Slow Motion. I recommend this book to anyone who may be facing a loved one's descent into Alzheimer's or to anyone who thought they were alone with the experience Ms. Cooney so unsparingly reveals. I recommend a visit to the book's website for a more personal insight into the lives involved with this loss.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars You Are Not Alone, August 15, 2003
By 
This book is a must read! You will laugh. You will cry. But if you have ever been a caregiver for a loved one with dementia of the Alzheimer's type, you will finally know--really know--you are not alone. Someone out there(E.Cooney), knows exactly what you are going through--all your feelings of sorrow and stress, all your frustration and guilt.
Personally, I found I really needed to read this book. I thought there were no words to describe the intensity of the experience I went through with my beloved mother, who also had A.D. But E. Cooney's words do just that.
Her honest story will amaze you as you hear your own voice echoing her thoughts and emotions. You'll ride the roller-coaster of high expectations and low disappointments, high hopes and low regrets, in the land of Alzheimer's.
I wish I had had this book when I was caring for my mother. I knew of no one who could truly understand our plight, not just when my mom lived with me, but also when I had to move her elsewhere. Though back then I might have been too exhausted to read more than a few pages each day, even that would've been such comfort and encouragement to my aching heart, because I wouldn't have felt so alone.
Over three years have passed since my mother died, and I am still processing grief over my loss and her sad decline. But in the pages of this book, I found a healing balm. Whether or not it was the author's intention, she has given me a gift for which I am truly grateful. Buy this book, and pray for a cure for this devastating disease!
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a KNOCKOUT!, February 26, 2004
By 
Robert Ross (Fort Bragg, CA United States) - See all my reviews
Lovely & fascinating piece of work. Her voice is so lucid, so deliberate, reminds me of what an old mentor advised me in my youth: "Full speed ahead, and strive for tone!"

I loved the story, sad as it is. I loved the author's willingness to totally expose herself in order to honour her subject and craft. There wasn't a page in there that seemed like Ms. Cooney was hiding back behind it, it was all so up front...... And especially I loved the wonderful hilarious touching tough loose accurate lingo......

This is a beautiful piece of writing.

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First Sentence:
September: About eleven months since we moved my mother to California to live with us, I wake at dawn from queasy dreams where I'm sliding down steep slimy banks of mucky pools or flying in a crowded flimsy airplane being pulled to earth by heavy gravity or searching for lost kittens in a dank primeval forest. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
psych unit, psych evaluation, run into town
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New York, The Pines, Sheffield House, Tim Durant, Dunwood Oaks, Miss Wood, Miss Janie, San Diego, Joan Talbridge, Beverly Hills, East Coast, John Huston, Kingswood Court, Michael Harwood, Mary Durant, San Francisco, Santa Rosa, Arthur Miller, Connecticut Melancholia, George Sondergard, Hoyt Bentley, John James Audubon, Katrina Chernov, Lance Harwood, Swamp Yankee
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