Customer Reviews

Death by Suburb: How to Keep the Suburbs from Killing Your Soul

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The premise behind this book is a captivating one. Is life in the suburbs detrimental to a living faith? Goetz claims it can be but, with the intentional approach he outlines in this book, it does not have to be. We understand what he means: superficiality and sterility are the suburbia stereotype. In the pleasant bedroom communities of America, it can seem as if people are more concerned with tidy flowerbeds than they are the things that nurture the soul.

Such a message is intriguing to me. I'm part of a 1100-member, 29-year-old Presbyterian Church. Our members are 98 per cent suburbanites (yes, we do have some members who live in the city). In the busy pace and everyday distractions of the suburbs, is it possible for people to know, to speak with and to be guided by the Living God?

What stirs the suburbs may not stir the deeper corners of the heart...but it may prompt them to seek that something else or something more that is missing. Churches in the suburbs have a real mission to help people stop, think, listen, center themselves and reconnect with one another and with the God who is everywhere.

Goetz suggests that suburbanites can grow, spiritually, if they address eight different suburban assumptions with eight correctives that are Biblically sound. Most of the assumptions are present in any suburban gathering, including the congregation. What may not be clear is that most of the correctives are also already present in a church that is centered on God, not centered on the "self".

For instance, Goetz calls for movements toward more silence (a move away from control). Most congregations do offer places of silence (the Sanctuary, open for prayer all week long, the Mediation and Memorial Garden come to mind) and spaces of silence in worship. If congregations don't, they might want to look at the first of these eight concepts. Church leaders could benefit from reading this book and asking first, whether they agree or disagree with Goetz. And then, asking, in turn whether each of the assumptions or the correctives are at work in their congregation. Then, having answered those questions, they might wish to modify existing congregational emphases to offer a greater spiritual haven in their part of the suburbs.

I have one argument with Goetz, and that is that all suburbs are not like the one he describes-every suburb has similarities, but each is distinctive. The forces that drive one suburban neighborhood may not be a blip on the scale of another. Some of the assumptions he makes, such as "everyone in the suburbs goes to church", are open to real debate. Every pastor wishes it were true - but it isn't! Having grown up in and served suburban congregations in four different states, I can say that each one has presented its own unique personality. This book could serve as a useful discussion starter, but that would be just the beginning, not the last word.

If you find this review helpful you might want to read some of my other reviews, including those on subjects ranging from biography to architecture, as well as religion and fiction.

In My Utmost For His Highest, Oswald Chambers draws a distinction between being of use to God and being of value to God. He describes this distintion as follows:

"There are times when it seems as if God watches to see if we will give Him the abandoned tokens of how genuinely we do love Him. Abandon to God is of more value than personal holiness. Personal holiness focuses the eye on our own whiteness; we are greatly concerned about the way we walk and talk and look, fearful lest we offend Him. Perfect love casts out all that when once we are abandoned to God. We have to get rid of this notion - "Am I of any use?" and make up our minds that we are not, and we may be near the truth. It is never a question of being of use, but of being of value to God Himself. When we are abandoned to God, He works through us all the time."

It struck me that this distinction is at the core of Death By Suburb and Goetz does an excellent job of teasing this distinction out by illustrating how the suburban facades of perfection and progress tempt many to focus inwardly on their personal holiness and usefulness to God and miss out on what Goetz describes as the "thicker life" - a life focused outwardly, in abandon and dependence on God which is arguably of more value to the community, the Church and to God Himself.

Goetz has issued suburbia a challenge and an invitation to enter into the "thicker life" of faith.

Death by Suburb: How to Keep the Suburbs from Killing Your Soul

A brave and eye-opening masterpiece written, I thought, directly for me?! At times, I thought the author was actually talking in my ear as I read page after page of classic, honest euphemisms describing Plastic Suburbanized Christians, slammed by birthday parties, after-school athletic activities (like soccer - oh, the pain of familiarity reeks in this book!), and the weekly herding to the nearest House of God. Just the epilogue of this book truly gave me some sort of conviction in my heart that this CONSTANT triangulation of the demands of this world, my self-conscious flesh, and my God-conscious inner spirit IS REAL, and especially more so in suburbia. Great read for Christian Stay-at-Home Suburban Mommies who want to know that "Gee, I am not the only one!"

This book is unfortunately titled. It is not about the suburbs. It is a funny, yet convicting and provocative, eye-opening relevation of all of American middle/upper class culture. This book applies to all of us in "the city", as much as it does to the suburbs. It tears off our blinders----so we can see the absurdity of: our ego and pride, and how we have been caught up in the values of the materialistic, kid-centric, self-centered, acheivement-oriented culture around us.

Don't miss this book. It is great fun and greatly convicting. It will take you from tears of laughter to tears of sadness/remorse and back again......quickly and repeatedly.

Goetz certainly addresses a number of very real issues in evangelical America, including those who `shirk' serving, loving, and caring for others - as well as those who `hop' from one church to the next, never making a commitment. While I understand that Goetz attempts to be humerous in his description of such people, I wanted him to write with a little more grace. What I mean is people are more often persuaded by generosity in the words used to describe them instead of phrases like `perpetual spiritual adolescents' and `Joe and Jane Shallow'. I'd prefer the carrot rather than the stick.

The premise of the book, that `living in the suburbs can kill your soul', seems to be at the same time true and also drawn to narrowly. That is, it equally seems `living downtown can kill your soul' and even `living on the farm can kill your soul'. Goetz does identify a number of challenges to living in the suburbs; however I remain unconvinced that many of those challenges are unique to the suburbs.

Goetz suggests suburbanites like to be in control of their lives, and true spirituality is the opposite of control. I ask `who doesn't like being in control'? Are there those living elsewhere who enjoy the opposite of control? Maybe so, but I've yet to meet them. Even the doctrine of sovereignty doesn't mean things are `out of control'. This is a point I wish he would have developed further.

He goes on to say "The trick for the lover of God is to learn how to become better at mending one's life, to make small adjustments on a regular basis to avoid the speed and clutter of modern living." Is he suggesting a person try to control the smaller areas of their life? If so, how does this prescription fit with his claim that true spirituality is the opposite of control?

Lastly, he seems to get a little carried away with his analogies when he compares living in the suburbs to living in Alcatraz. It's like he's taking a certain pleasure in critiquing `Ken and Barbie couples'.

With a little more grace, persuasion, and insight this book could have been more - a genuine and needed call to reformation to the church as a whole.

I picked up this book after Matt Chandler made mention of it in one of his sermons and quoted it when Mr. Goetz tells of a story and then cites, "Soccer is stupid when your wife is dying with cancer." After that quote, I had to pick up the book.

This book is a very enjoyable read, especially if you live in the suburbs. I really don't think you can get the full meaning of some of the jokes or even the nagging life that awaits in the suburbs, unless you live there, or have lived there for a period of years. What David Goetz wanted to get across in this book, I believe he did very well. The 8 chapters are titled very well and it really hurts when the chapter headings are what is going on in your head when you read them. He lists for the chapters a "toxin" and then "the practice." Or the "issue" and "the solution." They are:

Chapter 1:
The Toxin: I am in Control of My Life
The Practice: The Prayer of Silence

Chapter 2:
The Toxin: I am what I do and what I own
The Practice: The Journey through the self

Chapter 3:
The Toxin: I want my neighbor's life
The Practice: Friendship with the poor

Chapter 4:
The Toxin: My life should be easier than this
The Practice: Accepting my cross with grace and patience

Chapter 5:
The Toxin: I need to make a difference with my life
The Practice: Pursuing action, not results

Chapter 6:
The Toxin: My church is the problem
The Practice: Staying put in your church

Chapter 7:
The Toxin: What will this relationship do for me?
The Practice: Building deep friendships

Chapter 8:
The Toxin: I need to get more done in less time
The Practice: Falling in love with a day

My favorites were definitely at the point when Mr. Goetz pointed out why we have certain relationships and why we help out certain people. The reason is because I fall in love with the thought of, "if this person isn't going to accomplish something in my life, why should I befriend them?" Mr. Goetz speaks poignantly through this to understand that relationships shouldn't be about what you are going to get out of them, but they should be for continual development for the kingdom. In conjunction with this, he asks why we help out those that are less fortunate than us? Do we do it for self gratification if they turn to Jesus, or they "fix their life?" Or, do we do it out of the mere love for our Saviour and respond to his love with the love of our neighbors? This was a very challenging chapter.

I enjoyed the entirety of the book and felt as though it was well thought out, although not terribly theologically deep. Theologically is exactly where I found myself scratching my head a couple of times as I felt as though he left it out of the discussion at points that would have been helpful. I felt as though his convictions should have more clearly put forth in some of the areas of his life and how he lived it. But these were minor at points and not enough to deter the overall theme of the book.

I really found it to be helpful and was filled with great reminders in ways that made me laugh at times and cringe at others as they cut me deep, which was good.

One of my favorite quotes in the book, after the one mentioned at the first of this post, was:

Speed and efficiency rank high in suburban values. Garbage cans with properly colored tags are set out on the curb weekly on designated days. Dogs must be licensed before February 1. Dog waste is a hazard to our children, says our community publication on new ordinances. There are always new ordinances. Near our home, a gentleman walks his aging, bloated Labrador most evenings, dog leash in one hand and pooper-scooper in the other. By day, the man is an executive with an MBA from a worldclass university; by night, he scrapes up dog stools.

Now imagine this clever banter when dealing with spiritual issues while letting life escape us and you have a very enjoyable read along some very good insights into our everyday lives as we try and walk with Christ.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is a Christian and looking for a nudge to get them out of the ordinary drudge that can be the suburbs.

My church recently featured a series of very effective service messages based on the book Death by Suburb. I figured if the church services were this insightful, well, the book itself must be fantastic. My assumption was right.

The subtitle of the book is "How to Keep the Suburbs from Killing Your Soul." While Goetz's message is important to hear it's most effective when you project his observations on your own life. Some of this stuff was pretty darned painful to read but 100% accurate.

For example, chapter 6 is called "Shirker Service" and he defines Shirkers as people who "are always on the move for the next spiritual plane." A Shirker tends to say things like:

"I want to make a difference with my life. I want to make my life count. I want more from my life than investment banking. I'm weary of making money; I want to help poor people become suburbanites just like I am."

He goes on to say that "the Shirker Life is full of service activities, mostly to and with other Shirkers." Ouch.

Here are two other nuggets of wisdom that resonated with me:

"If you want to be a sweet grandfather and not a bitter old man, then you must learn how to embrace suffering."

"Frustration and conflict are the fabric of spiritual development."

Those are the kind of statements I have to read several times to truly appreciate them. Putting them in practice and living them are a completely different challenge. This book is full of pearls like this and well worth the reading investment.

This is a great book the will cause most people who read it (even if they don't live in the burbs)to look deep within to find some motivations that they might not be happy seeing. If you wish to live the self examined life, this is a great book for you.

Goetz has put his finger on so many of the problems facing a large percentage of Americans. Our desire for status, comfort, and achievement can blind us to what God wants for us. Even our involvement in church activities, even or especially for those of us who are or were in full time ministry, can really be about pursuing these false goals.

Goetz is bluntly honest about his own shortcomings, which gives complete authenticity to his critique of suburban life.

As someone who grew up in Wheaton, and who ministered for a time in Naperville, I know the world Goetz is talking about. I am pleased to encounter someone who is so willing to discuss it's shortcomings.

I bought this book because of the title. Living in the suburb and being a leader in a surburban church, the subject matter concerns me deeply. I believe that Goetz is right on the mark in unearthing some of how contemporary American thinking is hazardous to the message of the Gospel, or at least has the potential to dilute the Gospel. Thus the book puts into words some concerns many of us feel but are unable to express.

The answers provided by the book are a little simplistic, but the answers are in the honest reading of another book that has sold a few copies--the Bible.