8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Looking back..., January 11, 2006
I read this book in 1997. It was given to me after my daughter Rebecca was stillborn. She was five months along. I came to Amazon to find the book, as a friend has just lost triplets and I wanted to share it with her.
I was shocked to read the review of another woman who said that Bernadette just basically said, "Oops, my babies died." I'm sorry, but I'm just not sure how you missed her pain.
Maybe because I was still in a very wounded state myself, I was able to connect with her pain and loss and understand how she tried to understand God's plan in it all.
As a Christian, I do believe that every death is somehow allowed within the context of His will. That does not mean that he doesn't care or that he's mean. It's just that we are all small but important parts of something much bigger than we can imagine. That is the perspective I got from this book.
Bernadette also refers to a book by CS Lewis about grief. I can't recall the name of it, but when my father died two months later, I also read that. It put the pieces together of what Bernadette was writing.
With regards to her husband, Phil, I think far too much is expected of other believers. Jesus calls us to remove the 2x4 from our own eye before we try to pick out someone else's sawdust. It is true that her husband wasn't there for her. Mine wasn't either. Perhaps that slowed her healing, but it also may have helped it. Either way, it is often difficult for men to connect to the death of a pre-born baby. They simply don't "get it" until the baby is born.
They had marriage problems, too, and they aren't afraid to talk about them here. I am glad that in the end they found a way to keep it together. Many couples end their marriages over the death of a child. They grieve differently, and resentment is the result.
I don't believe Bernadette has written any other books, so if you're expecting a well written piece, you've come to the wrong place. Perhaps that's why the other reviewer missed her message.
However, if you're looking to connect with someone who has been through what you have, you will find it here.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Touches the heart of miscarriage and infant death issues., October 23, 1996
By A Customer
As the directror of the Christian based infertility, pregnancy loss, and infant death ministry, "Hannah's Prayer," I would like to express my gratitude to Bernadette Keaggy for her touching presentation of her struggle to have a child. She is very honest about the pain involved in the emotional and spiritual struggle caused by the loss of her first 5 children (to miscarriage, stillbirth, and early infant death). I regularly recommend this book to couples facing such losses. _A Deeper Shade of Grace_ has also been a personal encouragement to me in dealing with my own infertility and the miscarriage of our daughter Noel. If you or a loved one face the loss of a child during pregnacy or shortly after birth, I know this book will offer you much comfort, encouragement, and insight. Please read it!
For further encouragement, please e-mail us directly at Hannah's Prayer.
Jennifer Saake
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A most touching depiction of the mercy and love of God., September 2, 1998
Bernadette shares with deep candidness her story of pain, loss, grief. In all of it, the grace, mercy and love of God saw her and her husband, Phil, through... to a peace that passes understanding. One cannot read this and think that a life is to be lived without problems. We only grow in and from the pain in our lives. The "good times" are when we enjoy the joy of having seen God's hand in the troubled times. Holding us when we can't hold ourselves,seeing us through when we can't see anything but blackness, is the grace of God. Read this and realize that your pain is no less or greater than that pain of someone else. It helped me be less short-sighted and hopefully less full of self-pity. susie melkus
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