Customer Reviews

A Deeper Shade of Grace

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I read this book in 1997. It was given to me after my daughter Rebecca was stillborn. She was five months along. I came to Amazon to find the book, as a friend has just lost triplets and I wanted to share it with her.

I was shocked to read the review of another woman who said that Bernadette just basically said, "Oops, my babies died." I'm sorry, but I'm just not sure how you missed her pain.

Maybe because I was still in a very wounded state myself, I was able to connect with her pain and loss and understand how she tried to understand God's plan in it all.

As a Christian, I do believe that every death is somehow allowed within the context of His will. That does not mean that he doesn't care or that he's mean. It's just that we are all small but important parts of something much bigger than we can imagine. That is the perspective I got from this book.

Bernadette also refers to a book by CS Lewis about grief. I can't recall the name of it, but when my father died two months later, I also read that. It put the pieces together of what Bernadette was writing.

With regards to her husband, Phil, I think far too much is expected of other believers. Jesus calls us to remove the 2x4 from our own eye before we try to pick out someone else's sawdust. It is true that her husband wasn't there for her. Mine wasn't either. Perhaps that slowed her healing, but it also may have helped it. Either way, it is often difficult for men to connect to the death of a pre-born baby. They simply don't "get it" until the baby is born.

They had marriage problems, too, and they aren't afraid to talk about them here. I am glad that in the end they found a way to keep it together. Many couples end their marriages over the death of a child. They grieve differently, and resentment is the result.

I don't believe Bernadette has written any other books, so if you're expecting a well written piece, you've come to the wrong place. Perhaps that's why the other reviewer missed her message.

However, if you're looking to connect with someone who has been through what you have, you will find it here.

As the directror of the Christian based infertility, pregnancy loss, and infant death ministry, "Hannah's Prayer," I would like to express my gratitude to Bernadette Keaggy for her touching presentation of her struggle to have a child. She is very honest about the pain involved in the emotional and spiritual struggle caused by the loss of her first 5 children (to miscarriage, stillbirth, and early infant death). I regularly recommend this book to couples facing such losses. _A Deeper Shade of Grace_ has also been a personal encouragement to me in dealing with my own infertility and the miscarriage of our daughter Noel. If you or a loved one face the loss of a child during pregnacy or shortly after birth, I know this book will offer you much comfort, encouragement, and insight. Please read it!
For further encouragement, please e-mail us directly at Hannah's Prayer.
Jennifer Saake

Bernadette shares with deep candidness her story of pain, loss, grief. In all of it, the grace, mercy and love of God saw her and her husband, Phil, through... to a peace that passes understanding. One cannot read this and think that a life is to be lived without problems. We only grow in and from the pain in our lives. The "good times" are when we enjoy the joy of having seen God's hand in the troubled times. Holding us when we can't hold ourselves,seeing us through when we can't see anything but blackness, is the grace of God. Read this and realize that your pain is no less or greater than that pain of someone else. It helped me be less short-sighted and hopefully less full of self-pity. susie melkus

This book spoke to my heart. After suffering the horrible loss of 3 children through miscarriage...this book helped me gain perspective and a better understanding of the Sovereignty of God. It started me on the road to recovery. Of course, the holes left in my heart from those losses will never be filled...this book helped me look at where I needed to grow in my relationship with the Lord, as well as, how I could minister to others suffering from the same type of loss.

There are some deep places in everyone's heart where few dare to explore. Bernadette went there, and boldly decided to share her discoveries with the world. Her openness concerning the loss of her sweet babies is heart-breaking but inspiring. Thank you, Bernadette, for speaking to the hearts of so many! God bless!

I read this book last night. It is a quick read but very deep in meaning. Less than 2 months ago I lost my first child at 17 weeks. I saw my tiny baby son but I never got to hold him. I cried while I read Bernadette's book but I found a lot of comfort in knowing that I am not alone in my pain. Her pain was very real and I am personally grateful that she wrote about her experiences. I could very much relate to her personal struggle with acceptance of God's will for her babies. Her Christian perspective was valuable and shows that being Christian does not mean we are perfect or don't feel pain. Thank you, Bernadette, for sharing your story with us.

I cannot recommend this highly enough. If you or someone you know has had a miscarriage or lost a newborn baby, get this book! I especially appreciate that they remember the dads. too ofte this topic focuses so much on the mom and forgets the father is grieving just as deeply.

I really thought reading this book would give me peace. Instead it made angry. Bernadette tells the story of how her husband Phil Keaggy, a singer I once appreciated and enjoyed, abandoned her while she lost her five babies (ie. didn't return home from concerts). She talked about her babies and then just blindly writes off her children's deaths as 'God's will' and 'meant to be'. I found there to be a great lack of depth to this book and no questioning whatsoever. How can a loving mother sit back and be okay with the fact that her children died? How can a father not be involved or even meet his babies? Reading the back of the book only the author's three living babies are mentioned which I found very offensive. Why weren't ALL of their children recognized? All this book did for me was make me angry. I can't sit back and go 'Okay my child died, oops, oh well' and that's what I felt the author was doing.