EVERYONE NEEDS TO GANG UP ON NEIGHBORHOOD BULLIES
When I was growing up, the neighborhood bully lived just behind me. He was a couple of years older than I was, and a lot bigger. He used to beat me up all the time...
As parents we need to be able to help our children with the whole "bully" process. Whether we like it or not there are a lot of bullies out there. Telling our children to stand up to them, or fight back isn't the answer.
"Defanging a Bully" by A. Motiar provides the most insightful answers to the problem of "bulling" that I have ever seen. It is, all at once, a novel, a text book,a parenting book, a teacher's guide and a children's book. This unconventional formatted book will keep you turning the pages in a hurry.
Motiar starts with a story of a little boy who is being bullied at school. He eventually turns to a very spiritual uncle for advice. The advice is simple: don't fight back, go to the assistance of others. Okay, it's a little more complicated than that, but I will try to keep it simple. Motiar points out that the whole "bully process" is more than just a bully beating up some poor kid. The entire community is involved--the kids who simply watch it all happen, the teachers and principals who push for a policy of zero-tolerance but don't enforce it to that level, and the parents who don't step in and deal with this community problem. What the little boy's uncle explains is that if the community fights back against the bully, he will realize that everyone is against him.
What Motiar does with this book is brilliant, because once he has told us his story he then puts us in different situations where we find people discussing the story we have just read. We start with a classroom, go to a University seminar, are put in the middle of a school board meeting, and finally find ourselves in the midst a discussion between a group of parents. Each group comes to the same conclusion we have to step up and take action against bullies. It is the only way to make them stop.
So far I have managed to skip over the deep spiritual background to the book. While it is important, I think Motiar has handled even this aspect in an insightful manner. The most important message from this book will make us all better people. The final section deals with multi-faith responses to the problem of bullying, which adds some interesting insights.
Motiar has written a brilliant book that really does have something for everyone from students to teachers to (most importantly) parents. -- City Parent, Vol. 5, Issue 5, May 1998.
Everyone needs to gang up on neighborhood bullies. . . .
"Defanging a Bully" by A. Motiar provides the most insightful answers to the problem of "bulling" that I have ever seen. It is, all at once, a novel, a text book, a parenting book, a teacher's guide and a children's book. This unconventional formatted book will keep you turning the pages in a hurry.
Motiar starts with a story of a little boy who is being bullied at school. He eventually turns to a very spiritual uncle for advice. . . Motiar points out that the whole "bully process" is more than just a bully beating up some poor kid. The entire community is involved--the kids who simply watch it all happen, the teachers and principals who push for a policy of zero-tolerance but don't enforce it to that level, and the parents who don't step in and deal with this community problem. What the little boy's uncle explains is that if the community fights back against the bully, he will realize that everyone is against him.
What Motiar does with this book is brilliant, because once he has told us his story he then puts us in different situations where we find people discussing the story we have just read. We start with a classroom, go to a University seminar, are put in the middle of a school board meeting, and finally find ourselves in the midst a discussion between a group of parents. Each group comes to the same conclusion; we have to step up and take action against bullies. It is the only way to make them stop.
So far I have managed to skip over the deep spiritual background to the book. While it is important, I think Motiar has handled even this aspect in an insightful manner. The most important message from this book will make us all better people. The final section deals with multi-faith responses to the problem of bullying, which adds some interesting insights.
Motiar has written a brilliant book that really does have something for everyone from students to teachers to [most importantly] parents. -- by Kevin MacKinnon
