The Defiant Child: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder [Paperback]

Douglas Riley (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 1997

A much-needed tool that parents of children with O.D.D. can use to identify the source of this turmoil and take back parental control. Dr. Douglas Riley teaches parents how to recognize the signs, understand the attitudes, and modify the behavior of their oppositional child.

Editorial Reviews

Review

...offers specific suggestions on how parents can talk so kids will listen and techniques to implement when talking fails. (Newsday )

...helps parents regain control of their children and their families. (Washington Times )

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Taylor Trade Publishing; 1 edition (October 1, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0878339639
• ISBN-13: 978-0878339631
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 5.9 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (53 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #19,917 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #65 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Special Needs

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

346 of 371 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars "Take no prisoners" approach, June 11, 2003

By 

"victorlei" (Haifa, Israel) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Defiant Child: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder (Paperback)

The book describes what parents of ODD kids experience every day. Mr. Riley's suggestions are easily understood and seem natural. The book is easy to read. Then why I did not give it five stars?

If you consider buying this book, you probably already tried setting limits, star programs, timeouts, 1-2-3, and many other variations of dog training. You tried and found that both "motivation" and warnings are ignored, and that punishment only fuels more resentment.

Now you are stuck, but there is a hope -- Mr. Riley comes with new ideas for better, more severe and more painful punishment; of course all within the limits of the law. You are big and smart, and there are many ways to cause pain to your child without spanking. For example, you could explain that YOU own everything in your home and will take it away if he misbehaves.

So, what's wrong with the book?

First, the style. Mr. Riley speaks in a very distant, detached voice as if he is not talking about our children, but of some other species: evil, smart, and obviously very dangerous. My first reaction to the book was entirely intuitive -- its ice-cold style FELT wrong.

Second, the perception of the real problem. Whey you say "dress up now, we got to go", and your 8 year old answers with "F--- YOU", is it because you need more "parental authority", or because he is lacking some very basic skills needed for everyday life? And if your child is as evil and smart as the book suggests, why his life is such a hell?

If you think you have to win the war with your child, no matter what it takes -- this book is for you. If you want to teach your child the skills needed for everyday survival, try reading "The Explosive Child". I made my choice, now it's your turn.

54 of 54 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Helped me get started!!!, October 20, 2001

By 

"mooncat_noir" (Dallas, Texas) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Defiant Child: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder (Paperback)

I am a stepfather and married into a package deal: long lost love, defiant teenager. While I was no professional, I knew that there was something terribly wrong with this childs world view and decision making. At times, the anger and open defiance seemed totally nonsensical. I read The Defiant Child and found a GOOD description of my stepchild as well as practical steps you can take to influence the child in positive ways. I had a thoroughly defeated wife who was convinced nothing would work. My having her read the book, she came out of her paralysis and we were able to develop a united front (essential) and started effecting some changes. Our daughter is still no angel but she is sure easier to cope with now. She is even enjoyable at times. You just have to arm yourself with knowledge, patience and love and keep pressing. I found the books insights very helpful and I used them as guidelines in developing my own strategies. I was so impressed with the results that I've gotten, I have GIVEN the book to other "burned out" parents and they love it too. Douglas Riley was a Godsend.

65 of 68 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Defiant Child, March 16, 2002

By 

Kathy (Baltimore, MD (USA)) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Defiant Child: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder (Paperback)

This book is very practical and has a lot of great advice. Be warned, however, that it would be important to read the entire book before implementing some of the methods outlined in the stories. I have been struggling with my strong-willed, angry, defiant child for years. The key here is to communicate in no uncertain terms that you are the parent and he/she is the child. The child has no rights and you have every right to expect their behavior to be respectful and pleasant. For years conflicts with our defiant child have brought division between my husband and myself. Finally, a book that clarifies the situation clearly so that we can both see the ride we are being taken on by our defiant child. Now we have the upper hand, we are able to communicate our genuine love and concern for our child (14-year-old boy), and peace reigns in our home as we are seeing our child turn into a happy, well-adjusted, child instead of defiant, angry, manipulative and unthankful!! After the second week of using these methods my child was pleasant, cooperative, obedient, and talking more. We are now seeing his sense of humor return and enjoying one another.The icing on the cake was that he prepared a gourmet breakfast for me on my birthday! What a pleasant outcome!