Customer Reviews

The Defiant Child: A Parent's Guide to Oppositional Defiant Disorder

5 star:		(36)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

The book describes what parents of ODD kids experience every day. Mr. Riley's suggestions are easily understood and seem natural. The book is easy to read. Then why I did not give it five stars?

If you consider buying this book, you probably already tried setting limits, star programs, timeouts, 1-2-3, and many other variations of dog training. You tried and found that both "motivation" and warnings are ignored, and that punishment only fuels more resentment.

Now you are stuck, but there is a hope -- Mr. Riley comes with new ideas for better, more severe and more painful punishment; of course all within the limits of the law. You are big and smart, and there are many ways to cause pain to your child without spanking. For example, you could explain that YOU own everything in your home and will take it away if he misbehaves.

So, what's wrong with the book?

First, the style. Mr. Riley speaks in a very distant, detached voice as if he is not talking about our children, but of some other species: evil, smart, and obviously very dangerous. My first reaction to the book was entirely intuitive -- its ice-cold style FELT wrong.

Second, the perception of the real problem. Whey you say "dress up now, we got to go", and your 8 year old answers with "F--- YOU", is it because you need more "parental authority", or because he is lacking some very basic skills needed for everyday life? And if your child is as evil and smart as the book suggests, why his life is such a hell?

If you think you have to win the war with your child, no matter what it takes -- this book is for you. If you want to teach your child the skills needed for everyday survival, try reading "The Explosive Child". I made my choice, now it's your turn.

I am a stepfather and married into a package deal: long lost love, defiant teenager. While I was no professional, I knew that there was something terribly wrong with this childs world view and decision making. At times, the anger and open defiance seemed totally nonsensical. I read The Defiant Child and found a GOOD description of my stepchild as well as practical steps you can take to influence the child in positive ways. I had a thoroughly defeated wife who was convinced nothing would work. My having her read the book, she came out of her paralysis and we were able to develop a united front (essential) and started effecting some changes. Our daughter is still no angel but she is sure easier to cope with now. She is even enjoyable at times. You just have to arm yourself with knowledge, patience and love and keep pressing. I found the books insights very helpful and I used them as guidelines in developing my own strategies. I was so impressed with the results that I've gotten, I have GIVEN the book to other "burned out" parents and they love it too. Douglas Riley was a Godsend.

This book is very practical and has a lot of great advice. Be warned, however, that it would be important to read the entire book before implementing some of the methods outlined in the stories. I have been struggling with my strong-willed, angry, defiant child for years. The key here is to communicate in no uncertain terms that you are the parent and he/she is the child. The child has no rights and you have every right to expect their behavior to be respectful and pleasant. For years conflicts with our defiant child have brought division between my husband and myself. Finally, a book that clarifies the situation clearly so that we can both see the ride we are being taken on by our defiant child. Now we have the upper hand, we are able to communicate our genuine love and concern for our child (14-year-old boy), and peace reigns in our home as we are seeing our child turn into a happy, well-adjusted, child instead of defiant, angry, manipulative and unthankful!! After the second week of using these methods my child was pleasant, cooperative, obedient, and talking more. We are now seeing his sense of humor return and enjoying one another.The icing on the cake was that he prepared a gourmet breakfast for me on my birthday! What a pleasant outcome!

With a child of 7 who recently was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD this book is helping us deal with some very difficult and scary situations. In addition to counseling, this book has been a good place to turn to when questions and concerns need to be addressed. This book was very informative and easy to read. It gives a concise easy to understand description of ODD and explains the disorder from the child's perspective very acurately. The authors goes on to give sound advice on how to handle conflicts and tough situations that can become daily battles at home and school. I'm hoping we will not still need this book in the teen years, but I'll keep it close by just in case we do.

One comment I haven't heard yet about this book that may be useful to many parents is that the author frequently references experiences with teens and too often no mention is made of younger children. I think his ideas are wonderful for teens, but if you need help with a younger child--look elsewhere!

Dr. Riley's insights and suggestions offered me hope and help when nothing seemed to be working in dealing with a teen who clearly needed limits. Along the wonderful help of our family counselor, this book has made a real difference in helping us to regain control of our own home. Highly recommended to anyone whose child is constantly pushing limits.

I received 'The Defiant Child' at about 2pm Monday and couldn't put it down ( I finished it at 6pm and am now in the process of re-reading it). As I read this helpful and inspiring book, I alternatively laughed, cried, and nodded to the insightful descriptions, words, and ideas of Dr Riley. I felt as if this book was written for me. After having others suggest that my 15 year old daughter may be suffering from everything from conduct disorder or bi-polar..to a normal, but excessive kind of teenage rebellion. This book has helped me to see what may and may not be wrong; and what my husband and I may or may not be doing right when dealing with my daughter. My daughter will probably be sent to a residential treatment center because she violated her probation concerning attending school. I never could quite understood her continued intense fear of going to school even after we had changed her from her old school (where she had been brutally attacked), to not one but two others within three months. Each school was quieter and friendly than the last. Thanks to this book, I am more knowledgeable and aware of ODD and hopefully am not to late to help her to get the treatment she needs, even in such a facility. My only wish is that I could have read to book earlier and perhaps prevented her being sent away. I also wish that I could somehow communicate with Dr Riley . I highly recommend this book to not just ODD parents, but all parents. Thank you Dr Riley

We followed the advice in this book, and things just got worse and worse around our house. Then we discovered Dr. Ross Greene's book, The Explosive Child. THAT book is a godsend! If you aren't happy with the way regular behavior modification techniques are working (or not working) for your child, check out Dr. Greene's book.

This book was written in simple, get-to-the-point terms. It offers ideas on getting control back into the parents hands. It contains good, old fashioned ideas to regain structure and respect in the family, which will ultimately help the child learn to get along better in the real world and into their adulthood--which in my opinion is the ultimate goal of parenting in the first place! I wish some one of the many child psychologists we've been to would read this book instead of prescribing Ritalin for our kids!

We are just beginning to understand what O.D.D. means in our family. Both of our boys have it in varying degrees. At this point, neither have been "officially diagnosed" however the behavior patterns are textbook. We are experimenting with the discipline methods and are finding some success. Although this book is not a cure-all, it certainly is required reading for all that are dealing with this devastating problem!