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Deific Dozen Paperback – October 15, 2013


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 366 pages
  • Publisher: AuthorMike Ink (October 15, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0988446863
  • ISBN-13: 978-0988446861
  • Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,005,241 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Sam on January 2, 2014
Format: Paperback
Were most of the major discoveries in history provided by aliens, like KFC's secret herbs and spices? Was Jesus half alien and half human?

Randall Teodey was the curator for the Met's Arms and Armor division. His daughter Violet works in H.R. When Randall is shot in the Met one morning it is Violet who finds him. Before it's too late Randall tried to tell Violet something that she needs to know. Can Violet solve this mystery in time before more people die.

In the spirit of The Da Vinci Code this funny romp takes us to Rome, Florence, England, California and back to New York City all while following clues to the secrets of the Twelve and fighting off the bad guys. Violet and Grant are funny and they both grow on you as the story progresses.

The only non believable characters in the book for me are the two famous actors/Scientologists/assassins. It doesn't take much to figure out who they are a parody of but they are written so cartoonish and one note that it's hard to even get excited when they are in a scene.

That being said I did enjoy the book. It was fast paced and there were places that had me laughing out loud. I actually enjoyed it better than the Da Vinci Code and I want to be a believer of the Twelve. I received this book from the author for an honest review and I think everyone should read this book simply because it is a fun read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Bloodyhell on November 11, 2013
Format: Paperback
First, the good: The Deific Dozen is a very funny--at times hilarious--parody of The Da Vinci Code. The primary characters are developed well and their arcs are natural and seamless (new authors tend to force their characters' development. Orlowski's Violet and Grant, however, did not suffer this fate). The book's pacing is very even. Each new turn feels natural and logical, but with enough twists to keep you on your toes throughout. There is one twist at the end that seemed a bit obvious to me; however, it was followed by another I did not seeing coming.

Second, the bad: Unfortunately, Deific Dozen is the victim of a poor edit. Even some of the book's formatting was a bit off. Everything from oddly placed spaces, commas and tabs to misused forms of common words--"their" instead of "there" or "they're." At times, there would even be a word missing.

Lastly, the not-so-bad: Even with all the editing mistakes, I was still able to read through the book without the aforementioned errors becoming a distraction. I debated between giving the book a 3 or a 4. Ultimately, I think the author did well enough to earn a 4. The book was entertaining, clever and with enough detail to make this reader go to Google and search for some of these claims online, parodied or not.

On a personal note, I had the pleasure of meeting Brian (the author) at a horror convention. After some good conversation, I found he's a terrific guy; very humble, and with a great sense of humor. Therefore, I was only honored to buy his book.
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By Lisa Jones on February 27, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A fast, fun read with a surprise ending. There are great characters and plot twists. I truly enjoyed reading it!
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By Amazon Customer on January 21, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition
Yes, you would think that a eBook priced as high as this one, would be perfect. No formatting problems, no misspelled words. Well, get over it. (Although the price should be lowered). This book is laugh out loud funny. Tells a great story and one you'll remember long after you've read it. I couldn't even tell a friend about after reading it because I was laughing too hard.

Orlowski takes some jabs at famous people in this parody that I would be too nervous to do, but he does it well. There is Thom Crows and Jon Trafalgar, Scientologists, who are zany, dangerous and a "questionablystraightduo." And, then there is the author, Don Brawn. Not too hard to guess who that is.

The main characters, Grant and Violet take a hilarious romp around Rome, London, New York, and LA to find ancient relics that may have been given to Jesus. You don't want to miss reading this book, and once you pick it up you won't want to put this one down.

Great debut novel.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
What a wild ride! Two totally opposite, bickering protagonists search for clues on a mad scramble closely related to the Da Vinci Code, except that the two have a lot of personal issues. Violet is destitute, always running out of money on her credit card, and had to kick-start a rust bucket of a car numerous times. Moreover, she's a chain smoker, and is prone to swearing like a gangster on crack. Grant, for his part, has numerous allergies, phobias, and fainting spells. The two fight as they go along; it is easy for their dialogue to grow stale, but the author has made them endearing to the reader.

The seemingly poignant clues in numerous classical paintings from Renaissance times pointing to alien interference with religion's origins are fascinating. If you close your eyes and suspend your disbelief, it all does sound plausible. I love this part of the mystery. I wanted to keep turning pages to find out what was happening next. It was hilarious to see these two American homebodies fail to mesh in with European sensibilities (although Grant did have quite a lot of worldly knowledge). Throw in some fascinating tidbits about Scientology. Is this for real? You could not make this stuff up!

I have two beefs with this book. One is the book's two main villains. I sometimes dreaded seeing their appearance, because they were so one-sided with their pursuit of innocent victims to maim and murder. The fact that they were two A-list Hollywood celebrities made the suspension of disbelief impossible. Not only wouldn't they have the motive (despite being Scientologists) their fame would have made it impossible for them to get away with these random murders without being found out.
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