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If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans [Paperback]

Ann Coulter
3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (387 customer reviews)

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Book Description

August 26, 2008
“Uttering lines that send liberals into paroxysms of rage, otherwise known as ‘citing facts,’ is the spice of life. When I see the hot spittle flying from their mouths and the veins bulging and pulsing above their eyes, well, that’s when I feel truly alive.”

So begins If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans, Ann Coulter’s funniest, most devastating, and, yes, most outrageous book to date.

Coulter has become the brightest star in the conservative firmament thanks to her razor-sharp reasoning and biting wit. Of course, practically any time she opens her mouth, liberal elites denounce Ann, insisting that “She’s gone too far!” and hopefully predicting that this time it will bring a crashing end to her career.

Now you can read all the quotes that have so outraged her enemies and so delighted her legions of fans. More than just the definitive collection of Coulterisms, If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans includes dozens of brand-new commentaries written by Coulter and hundreds of never-before-published quotations. This is Ann at her best, covering every topic from A to Z. Here you’ll read Coulter’s take on:

• Her politics: “As far as I’m concerned, I’m a middle-of-the-road moderate and the rest of you are crazy.”
• Hillary Clinton: “Hillary wants to be the first woman president, which would also make her the first woman in a Clinton administration to sit behind the desk in the Oval Office instead of under it.”
• The environment: “God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, ‘Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It’s yours.’”
• Religion: “It’s become increasingly difficult to distinguish the pronouncements of the Episcopal Church from the latest Madonna video.”
• Global warming: “The temperature of the planet has increased about one degree Fahrenheit in the last century. So imagine a summer afternoon when it’s 63 degrees and the next thing you know it’s . . . 64 degrees. Ahhhh!!!! Run for your lives, everybody! Women and children first!”
• Gun control: “Mass murderers apparently can’t read, since they are constantly shooting up ‘gun-free zones.’”
• Bill Clinton: “Bill Clinton’s library is the first one to ever feature an Adults Only section.”
• Illegal aliens: “I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.”

If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans is a must-have for anyone who loves (or loves to hate) Ann Coulter.


From the Hardcover edition.

Frequently Bought Together

If Democrats Had Any Brains, They'd Be Republicans + How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter + Godless: The Church of Liberalism
Price for all three: $33.66

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

ANN COULTER is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Godless, How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must), Treason, Slander, and High Crimes and Misdemeanors. She is the legal correspondent for Human Events and a syndicated columnist for Universal Press Syndicate. You can read her weekly column on her website, www.anncoulter.com.


From the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Three Rivers Press; Reprint edition (August 26, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307408957
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307408952
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (387 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #494,746 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

ANN COULTER is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Godless, How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must), Treason, Slander, and High Crimes and Misdemeanors. She is the legal correspondent for Human Events and a syndicated columnist for Universal Press Syndicate. You can read her weekly column on her website, www.anncoulter.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I read this two summers ago, September 4, 2012
Format:Paperback
and kept smiling or laughing after every sentence. I was a bit disappointed with the book bcs I was expecting a book. But I do like it in that the book showcases many of her previous books by organizing what she's written by subjects and then pulls out quotes from her books that would fit in that category. I've only read one or two of her books besides this one so this sort of presentation is very helpful in revealing some of the content that can be found in these other works of hers. The Coulter books I will read next will most likely be "GODLESS" and "SLANDER"!
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99 of 148 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not a real book: buy her other works November 9, 2007
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I'm probably Ann's biggest fan, but this is not a real book. It is a collection of quotations from her earlier books and other sources. While the idea of providing her enemies a reference volume so they can quote her more accurately is fun, it makes for dull reading. The best parts are the introductions to each section that are new materal.
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40 of 60 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Like a laser - sometimes October 9, 2007
By Neely
Format:Hardcover
Sometimes Ann Coulter makes me squirm because I just don't get or agree with what she's saying or I think she's "gone too far." (She discusses those reactions by readers in the "Introduction.") This book is a collection of some of her more aggressive statements. I think her message that the Democrats are owned by the liberals is well taken, but the Republicans are no longer the viable alternative the title of the book implies.

Nevertheless, it is simply impossible for anyone who is not a liberal to read this book without: a) recognizing the behavior patterns of a liberal friend, acquaintance or politician; b) recognizing the absurdity of some condition or attitude promoted by liberalism. Despite the fact that she is a humorist as well as a political commentator, as you can see from the negative reviews here, to a liberal she just ain't funny. Of course, if liberals could recognize themselves in the caricatures and the inconsistencies in some of their stands, they probably wouldn't be liberals.

For example (p. 152): "Liberals' idea of civil discourse is no conservatives talking," which certainly explains some of the comments on this site and why people who haven't read the book believe they are justified in posting negative reviews.

The downside of Coulter's work is that her rhetoric ("Ted Kennedy: Apparently fat, drunk and stupid is ...."), which sells books to true believers, may also keep middle America away from her message. (In that context, liberals ought to be grateful that she is so strident.) Right or wrong, her observations about political debate, the media, morality, and the struggle against terrorism ought to be considered by every thoughtful American who is -- in the language of the polls -- "concerned about the direction our country is going."

Ann Coulter is quick, witty and smart. Despite her acerbic presentation, this book is more entertaining and informative than most of the political tomes available today.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars I want an unabridged version
the only reason I gave this three stars was there is no "UN"abridged version. Why is it so hard to find Conservative books online in audible format or in unabridged format? Read more
Published 2 months ago by TEXAS ROCKS!
4.0 out of 5 stars Democrats, beware!
Bought this book for my son, a die-hard conservative. He loves all Ann Coulter's books! Needless to say, this book is likely to give Democrats an ulcer!
Published 2 months ago by Believer
5.0 out of 5 stars If Democrats Had Any Brains
Democrats are really Republicans from the 20's. It just seems like they have no brains, because most do not read and most do not understand what is really going on!
Published 2 months ago by Paul K. Hoogendyk
1.0 out of 5 stars Not a very good book.
Just what we need in this day and age, more polarizing. Especially right now after an ugly election, I'll admit I have no appreciation for her writing.
Published 3 months ago by Iain
5.0 out of 5 stars Oh Ann
Ohh Ann, :)
Yes Republican woman look seriously hot it little black dresses! If you don't know this then you've never been at a party with my wife in attendance :) grrr... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Stephen Mclean
1.0 out of 5 stars Like listening to a used car salesman talk about politics.
Contrived and banal; this book presents no cogent arguments to lead the reader to want to believe anything the author is stating. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Dr. Happy
5.0 out of 5 stars For Dad
He enjoyed it but said it was pretty sassy. Which he loved. She is VERY opinionated and very intelligent. A book that keeps you thinking or makes you start to think!!!
Published 5 months ago by Hbabes
3.0 out of 5 stars Gift for my husband
My husband is a "conservative" more than he is a republican and he has listened to Ann Coulter on tv several times. He read part of the book, but never finished it.
Published 5 months ago by Gwyn
5.0 out of 5 stars Ann Coupler: as smart as she is beautiful?
Now I'm a Democrat; but if I had a brain, I would simply pass out right now! Just looking at the cover featuring Miss Ann Coupler, all the blood in my brain has mysteriously... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Dustin French
1.0 out of 5 stars Bathroom Companion
This book makes terrible toilet paper. Not only did it clog my toilet but it gave me some very painful paper cuts. Read more
Published 6 months ago by David David
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Topic From this Discussion
Ann Coulter does it ALL for the money
I'm with you honest Republican, it's the same old stuff, attack and dismiss the person saying it instead of discussing the merits of the argument...it's a shame they take Ann Coulter seriously and take her word as Law instead of researching the facts of the arguments.
Oct 17, 2007 by They stole my party. |  See all 42 posts
Facts Confound The Libs Reducing Them To Name Calling
you are forgetting the bunch of us bewildered people in the middle wondering why civility is dead in the US.

Can't we all just get along? on anything. I know there are some issues that libs and conservatives will disagree on, passionately, but I want to know why civility and acting like a... Read more
Nov 3, 2007 by Mary Katherine |  See all 80 posts
Liberals buying Anne's books in droves
JR Corry,

What imaginary "liberal Nazis" are you talking about? If a "liberal" is a Nazi then he/she is NOT actually a liberal. Duh.
Apr 2, 2009 by Scrappy Cocoa |  See all 6 posts
babe alert
:P
Apr 1, 2009 by JR Corry |  See all 3 posts
If republicans had hearts they'd be democrats
David,

Your idealistic mantra is nonsensical.

I have no interest in cooperating with Ted Kennedy. I have no interest in cooperating with Hillary Klichnev. Or the other charming naive socialist running for President. Their goal it to steal from those who do and give to those who don't to... Read more
May 2, 2008 by shakster8 |  See all 10 posts
I Ann Coulter had any brains, she'd be a brunette
this is the best review of Ann's book that I have seen apart from Hamster Jerry's review (March)
May 22, 2008 by D. Phillips |  See all 4 posts
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