ADVANCED PRAISE FOR DEMONS, DOLLS, and MILKSHAKES
"Pyles makes it look easy. His characters come instantly alive with the cocksure verve and swagger of rock stars. Demon, Dolls, & Milkshakes is fast, hard, smart and funny."
- Daniel Knauf producer/writer/show runner NBC's DRACULA, HBO's CARNIVALE
“Delightfully gory and laugh out loud funny, Demons, Dolls, & Milkshakes will keep you reading and have you reaching for a cigarette when you're done.”
- C Bryan Brown author of NECROMANCER
“The modern and plain dialogue is oddly unsettling, slyly aligning you with the worst ideas before you realize what kind of hell-ride you got on. Pyles blends friendship and hatred, betrayal and lust with demonology, necrophilia and the biggest sigh in the world into one bloody smooth shake.”
- Lydia Peever author of NIGHTFACE
"Demons, Dolls, & Milkshakes was an awesome read. Excellent dialogue, excellent storyline, hilarious and really well done... Now I want a pocket-sized demon of my own, which I will call Pooky."
- Mandy DeGeit author of THIS ONLY HAPPENS IN THE MOVIES
After years of watching horror movies, Kat Dougherty has learned one true thing about the supernatural.
Demons are dicks.
And the biggest dick of them all just showed up at her house, trapped inside an ugly six-inch doll. If there’s one thing that will piss off an unemployed, unhappy chain smoker more than anything, it’s a six-inch dick running amok in her house.
Maybe a little background first…
Kat returns home from getting creature comforts to ride out a snow storm in Pittsburgh. She has cigarettes, a milkshake, horror movies and an ugly little doll that was given to her by a friend. As she starts her first movie, the doll comes to life and begins to make demands for a new body to occupy. Being an irrational and desensitized girl, she flatly refuses. After all, what’s so scary about an ugly six inch doll?
The doll, who calls itself Stitch, tells Kat of how he came to be and where he came from; a place scarier than hell itself.
The demon who would become Stitch is conjured into the doll by a confused teenaged boy named Marty. Although technically this makes Marty a demon master, he has no idea of the power he has, or the kind of evil that kind of power attracts. Soon, people start dying and other demons show up, looking for Marty’s pet demon. All the while, Stitch looks for a way to transfer himself into a larger body or at least get the hell away from the kid he has to call ‘Master.’
As the body count rises and the demons circle ever closer, a creature that may or may not be the Almighty arrives to ‘fix’ everything. Which means horrible things for Stitch who finds himself stuck in the doll until he learns to be humble. An impossible task if you’re a demon like Stitch.
Kat, taking pity on the sad little doll thingy, decides to help Stitch; a decision they both seem to regret almost instantly as once again, demons and evil minions start showing up at Kat’s house looking to destroy Stitch and anyone who might be helping him.
See? Dicks. The whole supernatural lot of them.
Can Kat hold herself together to get through a day filled with demons, death, violence and extreme terror?
Only if there’s a milkshake waiting for her at the end of it. Maybe.