Customer Reviews

The Denial of Aging: Perpetual Youth, Eternal Life, and Other Dangerous Fantasies

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Whether you are a boomer about to face aging or a clinician advising patients, you will age more gracefully by reading this extremely readable and well-written book by one of this country's foremost geriatricians. As in her other books, Muriel Gillick makes the stories come alive in technicolor, which is no easy task when nursing home and senility are the subject matter. And that's exactly the point: Dr. Gillick breaks the aging stereotypes that most of us conjure when thinking about aging. Whether it's preventive medicine, health policy, or just what stance one should have towards growing old, you will walk away with a more informed and humane understanding of what aging means and how we can all live our life's final few chapters gracefully.

Denial of Aging is both a call to arms and a personal guide. It connects two themes: 1) most of us will become infirm eventually; 2) when that happens, our medical care system will fail us, often worsening quality of life instead of improving it. Two kinds of failures are Medicare rules that favor institutional care over care at home, and a fixation on (expensive) high tech treatments that have a low chance of success in the infirm elderly, but that carry a high rate of complications. Dr. Gillick shows that we can avoid some of these problems through individual choices, but that others require concerted political action -- for instance, making Medicare more responsive to the needs of the infirm elderly.

After you read this, send it to your legislators.

Disregard the 1-star rating. I intended to rate it 5 (best), but I can't find a way to to edit the rating.

This is a very good book with a bad title and a very bad cover illustration. The publisher must have had it in for the author.

It might better have been called "Facing Old Age - Yours Or Your Parents'" As Dr. Gillick uses the term, "Denial of Aging" simply means that pretending you're not getting old doesn't work. "Eternal life," in the subtitle, is not a theological concept but a reminder that, eventually, you will die.

Muriel Gillick is a geriatrician and medical professor whose concern for her patients has turned her into an advocate for the elderly in assisted living facilities and nursing homes. At times she can even be their advocate against their caregivers. It is to caregivers that she addresses her most heartfelt advice. Paraphrasing, it is that ultimately, when hope is gone, it's OK to let go. At the end, the answer to "We can't just let her die", is "Yes, you can."

In the rest of the book, she offers advice to caregivers looking out for their relatives. She considers assisted living and nursing homes to be a continuum. The former, after a time, leads to the latter; meanwhile, the cost increases as the assisted living facility finds - or asserts - the need for added services.

I gave copies of this book to my two sons, who may someday have to be my advocates. I told them that I hope they don't need it for a while and, when they do, they should check to see if Dr. Gillick has updated her advice to deal with our ever evolving health care system.

But until that happens, this is the book I want them to have.

Thank you, Muriel, for writing a book that gives us permission to relax into the best years of our lives. Running after youth is an exhausting pursuit --- it robs of our personal and spiritual growth. I especially enjoyed the personal anecdotes and stories from your files. I hope every woman reads your book. Pamela D. Blair, Author, The Next Fifty Years: A Guide for Women at Mid-Life And Beyond

Gillick is one of the most competent experts on aging related issues. This book is so different from most of what has been written on this subject. It is a must read for elders, hospital and nursing home administrators, nurses, family caregivers, as well as our elected officials!

I read this book thinking that it would deal with "The Denial of Aging -- Perpetual Youth, Eternal Life, and Other Dangerous Fantasies", but the book is definitely not about these things. Perhaps the title of the book could be "Old Age Sucks, But It Doesn't Have To Be That Way". The author has written an OK white paper on the state of the world for the frail and demented, and has proposed some changes to the laws, the workplace, and the culture of the US. Interesting stuff, a few disturbing facts (example: "Among people over 70 who sustain a cardiac arrest outside the hospital, fewer than 1% survive"), but nothing to do with the photograph on the front cover of the geezer on the little kid's bike. Too bad.

This book pulls together all of the different components that impact on many of the issues facing aged care today. As a nurse in another country, reading this book gives me an understanding of the challenges and opportunities to come.

While I give this book great credit for presenting the facts in the face of too many *live forever* books currently on the market, it also has it own agenda and just does not talk about anything not related to it.

The author suggests that medicaid / medicare should take on the long term care of elders. But does not discuss the financial reality of such a situation or, indeed, if it is wise. Most elders that are infirm are for 10 years or less. Is it really wise to potentially take on another large entitlement to mildly make things better for elders and families? Further there is no mention of long term care policies or elders' savings specifically for these years. There is no reasonable alternative presented for those who read this book looking to prepare the best they can. The author talks about the current abuse of medicaid and then goes on to advocate for medicaid to take on more for elders. Wouldn't that just provide for more abuse?

I also take issue with the idea that because people are focusing on *living forever* they are not not focusing on being elderly and preparing. I am not sure that is true, but her own book is filled with current 85 year olds who did not prepare whatsoever for being elderly. So what was their excuse? The idea of becoming old and infirm is a depressing one. Most people, such as my mother, do not want to think about it until forced to do so. I actually think many of these "live forever" books at least force discussion about aging and may in fact actually result in people taking better care of themselves and living better quality of life. My mom, currently 85, fully expected to die in her sleep at 75 so she did not plan and she did not take care of herself. Nor did she know there was any options. She was not aware of long term care policies (nor where they around) and she was not aware of antioxidants and things she could do for her aging knees. Left in the care of her doctors, much like the author here, who subscribed to the "your old - why bother" practice of medicine - she is now closer to infirmity.

I would say the book gets 3 stars for the great chapter on assisted living. Last year I had the opportunity to look at some assisted living facilities and I was very disappointed. They are all marketing and very little follow through. But I gleaned from management that they were not doing too well, so it is my feeling that people are starting to get wise to the assisted living *bait and switch.*

Overall a book that is good to read for the sharply different view from most books today. But I only wish the author had presented a more fair differing view of aging.