Customer Reviews

Denial: A Memoir of Terror

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The title for this review is a fitting quotation from William Faulkner for the topic of this book. In "Denial: A Memoir of Terror", Jessica Stern reviews her personal motivations for becoming a highly respected expert on international terrorism. Although her academic career began as a bench chemist, her fascination with the weapons of terror, and ultimately the motivation of terrorists, lead her to complete a doctorate in public policy. She describes becoming curious as to her ability to interview terrorists, engaging them in a way to maximize revealing their inner motivations for the terror they seek to inflict.

What unfolds in this narrative is an intriguing and admittedly harrowing account of the latter part of Dr. Stern's childhood, beginning with the rape of herself and her sister by a stranger in the early 1970s when they were in their early teens. On account of this incident, the memoir focuses on many "whys": Why did this rapist terrorize young women and girls and why did he ritualize the act; why did her father not return immediately from Europe upon hearing of the event; why did the police not connect the details of the rape to ultimately 40 others with the same MO; and why despite decades in a professional career did the incident appear to be affecting Stern's ability to lead an emotionally satisfying life? With the help of therapy, interviews with her father and those connected to the rapist, and a veteran of the Iraq war, Stern begins to accept that many of her symptoms and motivations derive from the rape and the denial by herself and those around her of the impact of these colluding factors. Through her analysis, Stern begins to realize the importance of shame and humiliation in the production of not only those who terrorize, but also potentially those complicitous in being terrorized. In this regard, written as a memoir, "Denial" represents a powerful self-revelation of the impact of traumatic events, and their acceptance or non-acceptance by caregivers and loved ones, on emotional functioning later in life.

And yet......

And yet I was dismayed with certain aspects of the work. Granted a memoir is not a scientific treatise and one cannot expect it to be organized as such. Still, Dr. Stern does use references at certain points in the book, but omits references or even the crediting of others for insights not uniquely her own. For example, she boldly states a hypothesis of hers that humiliation is the well-spring from which savagery emerges. Even a cursory review of this topic indicates the quite common number of authors and literary works that would agree with this hypothesis and have formulated it previously. In particular, Drs. Arno Gruen and Alice Miller have written extensively on the links between humiliation/shame as the force behind the Nazis in Germany and this root message similarly comes through in the recent Cannes-awarded film, Das Weisse Band (The White Ribbon). A nonacademic writer producing a memoir that included such a revelation might be excused of such omissions, but not one with the credentials and resources of the author. Secondly, Dr. Stern repeatedly denigrates work done in the psychological fields by reducing, wholesale, their findings to 'psychobabble'. Indeed, she outright states that her motivation for interviewing a soldier with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) was due to her mistrust of the diagnosis of her own symptoms from a therapist. In this regard, I found her arrogance to be quite similar to that of her father's, who repeatedly reminded his daughters not to be "candy-assed" and further to feel superior to those around them. Those such as Dr. Frank Putnam who have worked much with PTSD symptoms in rape victims hopefully will overlook the omission of their work.

Finally, and most intriguingly, Dr. Stern focuses the bulk of her memoir on her rape, her rapist and the investigation surrounding it, and her father's reaction (or lack thereof) to the incident. This is noteworthy for the fact that it is presented against a backdrop of hints by the author that she was sexually abused possibly by the time she was 3 years old, and clearly emotionally maltreated for much of her youth. What I found myself sensing was that I was reading a case of "layers of denial". In this case, the denial that Dr. Stern is confronting head on is that erected by her father, the police, and others who invalidated the impact of her rape. Focus on this this denial, however, allows a second denial to remain intact; one that potentially occurred over many years, with no police...indeed no one.... to whom this could be revealed and which was perpetrated by a loved one(s). Such contrasting sources and durations of childhood abuse, and their relative impacts, are discussed thoroughly by the likes of Dr. Jennifer Freyd with her Betrayal Trauma hypothesis, but there are others as well.

In the end, "Denial" is nevertheless a bold work and the author can be commended on choosing this approach to her memoir. I certainly hope that it has provided some measure of resolution and healing in Dr. Stern. In a culture where denial drives our daily lives, it is one more story revealing the prison in which such dark secrets lock away those maltreated during their childhoods. We can only hope such revelations eventually lead to larger cultural changes for the better....indeed the future.... of humanity and the planet.

I would encourage you to listen to the interview "A Terrorism Expert Explores Personal Trauma" on the Here & Now show with Robin Young along with reading the reviews.

I have spent countless hours facilitating people discovering their internal greatness to take ownership over PTSD and DID traumas. Their resilience and determination is a testimony to the power of the human spirit and mind to master even the worst of events regardless of how numerous or deeply buried under the disassociation needed to psychologically survive. This book is for people choosing to thrive.

It also is for you, the skeptic/family/friend who is choosing to understand the power of PTSD. Rather than reading dozens of books and spending a hundred hours in observing therapy; you can start here, and most likely end here, to understand PTSD and also begin to grasp the more advanced and complicated psycho-dynamics of DID (dissociative identity disorder). You also will get a lesson in our cultural sociological system of denial. There are only three things you need to know about the typical conscious mind real-estate; denial, denial and denial. Denial is necessary - until it's value runs out.

You will experience intuitive insights about the pain, signs that something was never quite right and the power of choice to heal over fear. Reading this book will facilitate your choice to understand (vs. blame), make a decisions on how to comprehend (vs. reason away) the events they relate, and participate with their choice to thrive. You will be able to knock down the gauntlet of folk psychology, and the knowledge you gain will be the undoing of a common reasoning; "I didn't experience this and only know one child/person who is telling wide stories, therefore it can't be real."

I have been studying the effects of trauma on mind, brain and human development for the past 30 years and written hundreds of articles about it. As a result of hearing so many trauma stories and seeing so many damaged human beings I like to spend my spare time getting away from it all. I read Jessica Stern's book after she gave me a copy and after a literary friend told me that it was the most profound account of the subjective experience of trauma, and I could not put it down. The courage with which Jessica unravels her own story and allows herself to know what she knows and feel what she feels is a remarkable human journey from confusion and doubt to clarity and perspective. Stern gives an incisive account of the shape of the imprint of trauma on body and soul, and shows us how honest confrontation with what we already know, but try to forget, is essential in order be liberated from the past.

The way Stern writes about how trauma has affected her relationships with her loved ones, and how an honest and compassionate confrontation led to true and deep human connections made me weep.

Thank you for writing such a beautiful book!!

The author Jessica Stern has graduated from Harvard... has been a staff member of The National Security Council... lectures on terrorism... and for the last twenty years has studied the causes of evil and violence. Sadly, she has also been the victim of rape. In 1973 at the age of fifteen she AND her fourteen-year-old sister were raped at the same time by the same individual. The police did not believe the sister's story that they did not know the individual who raped them. The girl's Father (Their Mother had died years earlier) was in Europe at the time of the rape... and the fact that he did not immediately return home to America affected Jessica for the rest of her life... in ways that even a highly educated woman who specialized in mentally dissecting terrorists... couldn't fully comprehend until she wrote and researched this book.

Jessica and her sister's rape case was never solved and then in 2006 "I GOT A CALL FROM THE POLICE LT. PAUL MACONE, DEPUTY CHIEF OF THE POLICE DEPARTMENT IN CONCORD, MASSACHUSETTS, CALLED TO TELL ME HE WANTED TO REOPEN OUR RAPE CASE." "I NEED TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY OBJECTION. AND I WILL NEED YOUR HELP, HE SAID." This phone call led to the author not only investigating herself in ways she never attempted to before... but fueled the quest to find out who actually raped her... and how that deviant became a rapist... and also led to her asking questions of her Father, who survived a childhood in Nazi Germany... that she never dared to ask before. These questions ranged from why didn't he come home from Europe immediately upon hearing of her rape... and what was my Mother really like? It also led to remembering her Doctor Grandfather who may or may not have abused her... and the fact that his excessive radiation treatments of her Mother may have led to her early death.

Jessica's writing style ranges from poetic... to streams of consciousness. She at times doubts herself... and at times describes mental and physical problems that literally make her unable to drive... unable to stay awake... and unable to ask questions that she knows she should be asking. One of the many ways she describes her Father is: "I AM PROUD OF MY FATHER. HE IS LIKE A PRECIOUS JEWEL THAT HAS BEEN HANDED DOWN IN MY FAMILY. BUT HE HAS SHARP EDGES." Ever since the rape Jessica never shows fear and wants to be a good girl and though this fearlessness is what makes her so uniquely qualified for her future work with terrorists it is also one of the things that she discovers makes her "ill". "I KNEW WHAT GOOD MEANS. GOOD MEANS NEVER REVEALING FEAR. GOOD MEANS NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT THINGS THAT CAN'T BE CHANGED, LIKE THE PRESENCE OF A STRANGE GUNMAN IN THE HOUSE INSTRUCTING ME NOT TO SCREAM. OF COURSE, I WON'T SCREAM, I DIDN'T SCREAM THEN, I WON'T SCREAM NOW, CERTAINLY NOT OUT OF FEAR OR THE THOUGHT OF MY OWN PAIN." And conversely she analyzes her Father: "I HAVE COME TO BELIEVE THAT MY FATHER'S TRICK, HIS WHOLE LIFE, HAS BEEN TO CONVERT THE SENSATION OF FEAR, WHICH MAKES HIM FEEL ASHAMED, INTO DOMINANCE. WHEN MY FATHER IS AFRAID OF SOMETHING OR SOME POWERFUL EMOTION HE FEARS HE CANNOT CONTROL, HE FINDS A WAY TO DOMINATE HIMSELF AND OTHERS."

As the police and the author investigate this thirty-three-year-old case they find that Jessica not only *DIDN'T" know the rapist... but the rapist is deceased (not a spoiler) and raped at least *FORTY-FOUR* additional young girls. One of the most powerful themes in this book is the dichotomy that is presented... if the reader simply reads the biographical notes highlighting the author's powerful accomplishments in life... and then continues to read the entire book... the author confesses to such feelings of weakness and lack of personal control... not only in the past but in the present as the investigation continues: "A CAGE FLOATS DOWN FROM THE HEAVENS, ENCASING MY BODY IN GLASS. CHET DOES NOT SEE THE CAGE. HE THINKS I AM WITH HIM IN THE CAR, BUT IN FACT, I AM ALONE IN A PARALLEL WORLD."

When the identity of the rapist is found Jessica then goes on a personal mission to find out how he became what he became... tracking down other victims... friends and lovers... and here is an example of words that can only be described as poetry: "THE VULNERABILITY IN HER GLITTERY BLUE EYES MAKES ME FEEL I OUGHT TO LOOK AWAY. IT IS AS IF, IN OBSERVING THE LINES THAT FAINTLY CREASE HER DELICATE SKIN, I AM TRESPASSING ON SOME PRIVATE GRIEF."

The actual research and development of this book must have been enormously painful and cathartic for the author, as it not only allowed her to deeply examine her own weaknesses... but it gave her the strength to ask questions of her Father that she never dared to ask before. Some of the answers were not what the author expected and amplified the power that post traumatic stress disorder can have over even the most highly educated amongst us.

Jessica Stern, Harvard lecturer, renowned expert on terrorism, and former member of the National Security Council has written a remarkable memoir. In it, describing her reactions, she often says, "I will feel about this later".

And indeed that's what this book is all about.

At age 15, Stern and her sister (one year younger) were raped at gunpoint. In writing Denial, she returns to this traumatic event some 30 years later, participating in the investigation that belatedly identifies the perpetrator. In so doing she explores feelings, perceptions and reactions long since set aside.

Stern is diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and describes the world of numbness and hyper vigilance that accompanies this condition. Interestingly she relates these symptoms to the competencies that have led her to interact with and understand the motivations of terrorists. It makes for a deeply fascinating read.

All of this is delivered with artistry and great insight. The following paragraph, describing Stern's feelings while interviewing an acquaintance of her rapist conveys the flavor of the writing:

"We sit under the nauseating glare of fluorescent lights. I hear the dizzyingly familiar buzz. Terrors are brought back to me by this sound, but I don't know what they are or why. The coffee creamer feels far away, but the ceiling presses close. The hand that holds my coffee cup does not look like mine. I sip my coffee carefully, worried that I might drop the cup or spill the hot liquid. There is a strangely altered distance between table and mouth. Here is what makes me feel so very alone in these moments: nobody else notices that I am no longer in the room."

Or another example: "The impact of the violation drips lazily down, like that clock in Dali's painting, pooling in the form of shame". And the author goes on to note, "My hypothesis is that shame is an important risk factor for savagery".

This is an excellent and unusual book; one that resonates on many levels of truth.

I just finished this book, I am still processing it but wanted to rate it. When reading it I would have to put it down and take a minute after a particularly hard page or two. My first thought is that there is so much violence in the world against both female and male children. So much of it we don't know is happening but happens in perfectly normal looking neighborhoods. I wonder when such violence will be evolved out of human beings? I wonder if it ever will?

It is remarkable to read the private thoughts and demons about someone who has achieved so much, who has accomplished things at a level I wish I had accomplished. We never really know anyone.

I have followed Stern's academic work on terrorists and their formation for many years, always deeply impressed by her conviction that it is crucial to get inside both the mind and the world view of terrorists and terrorist groups, and that to do so, it is highly useful actually to talk to them. I always had in the back of my mind a question as to where this insistence on getting up close to terrorists came from in Stern's case - it didn't affect my evaluation of the importance of her work on its own, of course, but I sometimes wondered. This book answers that question, and goes much, much further to offer an steady, face-on examination of personal violence and violation in her own life, at a young age. I found it riveting and insightful. (I would add, in response to the New York Times review of this book, which criticized it as being functional prose but not more than than - well, I'm not sure it would occur to me to evaluate a book on this kind of topic, based around personal experience, on the basis of its literary style. Frankly, I prefer a plain prose style, seeking to be clear, as this book does, to something that seeks to create literary effects. I thought the Times reviewer, on that point, missed to the point.)

In this book of horrors inflicted on someone there were two items that stood out for me: First, how thirty years ago rape seemed not to be a high priority for the police unless a woman was killed or severely beaten. Here we have an event where two teenaged sisters were raped at gunpoint and the police investigation was cursory. So cursory that the rapist attacked more than forty women in a two year period in three contiguous Massachsetts counties and was never apprehended. He was identified as the serial rapist through research for this book
Second, though the author is Jewish I have never encountered a better example of Christian forgiveness than that which she expresses towards her father. Her father was on a business trip in Europe when he heard that his teenage daughters have been raped. Rather than rushing home, he waited three days to finish his assignment and then came back. He rationalized that he spoke frequently to their physician who assured him the girls were okay. Not only does the author forgive him this incredible lapse in parental compassion and concern, she dedicates the book to him and speaks lovingly of him in the final chapters.
Wow, that is forgiveness!
I really am ignorant of many things and one of the things I seem most ignorant about is the amount and type of sexual abuse young women endure. The author here was not only raped by a stranger but seems to have been abused, or at least improperly fondled, by her maternal grandfather who took her into a shower with him when she was about 11 years old. And this is after he may have sexually stimulated her when she was little more than a toddler...and contributed to her mother's death by giving her (he was a physician)massive doses of XRays.
Obviously, "Denial" is not the sort of book one brings to the beach for summmer reading. It is a heartbreaking account of a life never made whole after a terrifying experience as a teenager. The author is to be congratulated for having the courage to write it, to hopefully inspire other women who were similarly abused and to lay out in great detail the heinous crime that too many, men especially, think of as a pain and a shame that disappears with time.
JDP

Exposing herself in ways authors rarely do, the author forces the reader to evaluate their own ability to handle trauma and family relationships. A look at PTSD that is relevant to our times and has always been with us, even if we didn't know what to call it. Originally I purchased the book for insights into her rapist, I was acquainted with him after his prison years, her handling of trauma became the real story. Very well done.

As a practicing psychotherapist with many patients suffering from PTSD I don't think that I've ever read a more compelling or accurate depiction of psychological issues raising from trauma (intergenerational trauma at that)..The denial referred to in the title permeates victims, friends of victims and friends of perpertrators alike. Ms Stern's search for the "wholeness" denied her by her years of hiding memories and feelings from herself is a fascinating journey which she lets us acccompany her at every point.
I would recommend this book to sufferers and therapists alike.