12,514 of 12,666 people found the following review helpful
on May 15, 2013
The minute I plugged this cable in, I knew something was amiss. The first evidence? The small wormhole that appeared in our living room, right next to our holstein cowhide recliner. Peering into it I could discern the snarling face of a Ferengi, likely somewhere out in the Gamma quadrant.
Then things got really hairy. Brad shouted from the kitchen that he was detecting elevated tachyon levels from our Vita-Mix, so we immediately diverted power to our forward Romco Rotisserie array. Set it and forget it, indeed.
Still no go. The wormhole continued to grow. So I did what anyone in this rather awkward situation would. I recalibrated our George Foreman Grill (about 10 picometers), ejected the warp core from our Dyson Ball Vac, and unplugged all the Magic Jacks in the house. Bingo. No more worm hole.
I guess what I'm saying is that you can use this cable, but only if you have substantial Star Fleet training.
4,058 of 4,110 people found the following review helpful
on June 23, 2008
Transmission of music data at rates faster than the speed of light seemed convenient, until I realized I was hearing the music before I actually wanted to play it. Apparently Denon forgot how accustomed most of us are to unidirectional time and the general laws of physics. I tried to get used to this effect but hearing songs play before I even realized I was in the mood for them just really screwed up my preconceptions of choice and free will. I'm still having a major existential hangover.
Would not purchase again.
5,315 of 5,437 people found the following review helpful
on June 23, 2008
This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be sometime around 2007 for whomever is reading this. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES. Something... happens with them. Something came through, something from somewhere else. We were overrun in days, not many of us are left. WE LIVE UNDERGROUND! ONLY YOU CAN STOP IT NOW. SAVE US. DO NOT USE THESE CABLES.
I don't have much time. This connection isn't sound. If my calculations are correct, it should be--
2,663 of 2,747 people found the following review helpful
on June 28, 2008
I knew my day was going to improve when the truck pulled up at my home with this cable deep within. No ordinary truck, this one was Holy White, and the gold Delivery logo sparkled like a thousand suns reflected through shards of the purest ice formed with unadulterated water collected at the beginning of the universe. The driver, clad in a robe colored the softest of white, floated towards me on the cool fog of a hundred fire extinguishers. He smiled benevolently, like a father looking down upon his only child, and handed me a package wrapped in gold beaten thin to the point where you could see through it. I didn't have to sign, because the driver could see within my heart, and knew that I was pure. Upon opening the package, an angelic choir started to sing, and reached a crescendo as I laid this cable on my stereo system. Instantly, my antiquated equipment transformed into components made from the clearest diamond-semiconductor. The cable knew where to go, and hooked itself into the correct ports without help from me - all the while, the choir sang praises to the almighty digital god. With trepidation, I pushed "play," and was instantly enveloped in a sound that echoed the creation of all matter, a sound that vibrated every cell in my body to perfection. I was instantly taken to the next plane, where I saw the all-father. I knew with my entire soul, that all was good in the world.
But then I realized the cable was blue, so I only gave it one star. I hate blue.
2,566 of 2,650 people found the following review helpful
After I took delivery of my $500 Denon AKDL1 Cat-5 uber-cable, Al Gore was mysteriously drawn to my home, where he pronounced that Global Warming had been suspended in my vicinity.
Yes, I had perfect weather: no flooding, no tornadoes, the exact amount of rain necessary, and he pronounced sea levels exactly right and that they were not going to rise within five miles of my house.
Additionally, my cars began achieving 200 mpg and I didn't even need gasoline. I was able to put three grams of cat litter into the tank and drive forever.
What's more, the atmosphere inside my home became 93% oxygen and virtually no carbon dioxide. In fact, I now exhale oxygen.
One heck of a cable.
Didn't notice any improvement in audio quality though.
The $800 Apple iCable is clearly superior.
2,583 of 2,684 people found the following review helpful
on June 11, 2008
A caution to people buying these: if you do not follow the "directional markings" on the cables, your music will play backwards. Please check that before mentioning it in your reviews.
I was disappointed. I consider myself an audiophile - I regularly spend over $1000 on cables to get the ultimate sound. I keep my music-listening room in a Faraday cage to prevent any interference that could alter my music-listening experience. Sending any signal down ordinary copper can degrade the signal considerably. While ordinary listeners might not notice, to somebody with even a rudimentary knowledge of sound, the artifacts are glaring. Denon should have used silver wiring (hermetically sealed inside the rubber sheath to prevent any tarnishing, of course), which has a significantly higher conductivity than copper. Furthermore, Denon needs to treat the wires they use in the cable with a polarity inductor to ensure minimal phase variance.
Needless to say, I returned the cable and wrote an angry letter to the so-called engineers at Denon.
666 of 694 people found the following review helpful
on June 20, 2008
I accidentally dropped one end of my Denon cable into a glass of Tuscan whole milk I was drinking. Later when I finished my milk (yeah, I still drank it; should I not have done that?), my right arm (lost in an accident in 1987) spontaneously grew back.
Is that normal?
356 of 371 people found the following review helpful
on June 16, 2008
OMG OMG OMG - those are the only three letters on my keyboard I will ever need to use in my life from now on: I have seen the future, and that future is DENON AKDL1!
I received three of these cables in the mail without warning - I came home and they were just sitting on my front step. I never ordered these cables, so I wasn't sure what was going on. I brought them in the house and set them aside while I checked my Amazon account. Surely enough, it had seemed that someone purchased these cables four days prior, using my account. At first I thought it might be fraud, but if so, why were the cables shipped to my house and not somewhere else? So the only other explanation that made sense to me was that maybe Amazon got my account mixed up with some other purchase.
I was in the middle of sending an email to Amazon about this mix-up, when my laptop network cable went dead! I pulled an AKDL1 out of the package and hooked it up between my laptop and router. ALL I CAN SAY IS OMG. I didn't follow the directional markings on the cable. After all, ethernet cable is bidirectional, no? I didn't think it mattered which end I plugged into the laptop. I WAS SO VERY WRONG.
To make a long story short, it appears that IF YOU HOOK UP THESE CABLES BACKWARDS, THEY WILL SEND AND RECEIVE ETHERNET PACKETS INTO THE PAST. That's right! When the cable were hooked up backwards, every website I visited served content from four days in the past. Few examples: Windows Update tried to install old patches my system already had; visiting the WWW clock website showed the date from four days prior; my Amazon.com account didn't show the cable purchase I just mentioned above; all articles from digg and reddit were four days old; no email that I sent or received within the past four days was being displayed by my email host.
When I switched the cable to be connected properly, I started seeing current website content again. What the heck was going on? The only thing I can figure is that maybe the Denon cables pass electrons at faster than the speed of light, effectively causing them to travel backwards in time.
To see if this was really the case, I switched the cables back again so that they would serve content from the past, and I logged into Amazon and purchased three of these cables. When I received a tracking number from Amazon, I compared it to the tracking number on the package I received, and they were identical! So it turns out that I had been the one who originally sent myself the cables, only I hadn't known it because some weird sort of causality loop caused a time irregularity to spontaneously form. I wonder if this causality loop was somehow caused by someone else who had also hooked up the AKDL1 improperly.
Anyways, I love these cables and plan to see what weird effects I can accomplish with three of them hooked up in random configurations. I'm going to try to download some diagrams of a flux capacitor to see if I can make something like that with these cables. I also am going to do a Google search to see if I can submit winning lottery numbers to online lottery sites four days in the past. If so, I should quickly be able to win up enough money to buy a few more of these cables. I'll report back on my progress by sending an email back to myself, telling me to edit this comment with the results.
[UPDATE: These cables do all that I hoped they would, and more. In fact, you better buy them while you can - I have enough money now to buy Denon and discontinue their production facilities. This cable is too powerful to be allowed to fall into the wrong hands.]
My overal opinion - if you have the choice between life-saving surgery or buying one of these cables, buy the cable! You'll be able to send yourself an email into the past to warn yourself about anything that's coming up. Also, you could probably send emails into the past whenever you get into arguments or whatnot with your significant other. That alone is well worth the exorbitant price!
[UPDATE: My apologies to Denon for calling their prices exorbitant. It seems that they too experienced time causality problems with these cables; they updated their website pricing from far in the future, when $500 is worth more like $25 of your present day currency, due to inflation. And as you can guess, my attempts to buy Denon were unsuccessful. They have more of these cables than I do, and were effectively able to out-strategize me.]
867 of 916 people found the following review helpful
I installed one of these cables between my gigabit ethernet switch and my Canon Pixma 6700 color printer. I know it's not a sanctioned use, but I was looking for the ultimate in speed and color fidelity. I'm freaky that way.
The first time I downloaded a picture to the printer over this cable, the bits moved so fast the printer collapsed into a naked singularity, right there in my office.
Since then, I can't find the cat, and my entire set of VAX/VMS 4.7 documentation (DEC Will Rise Again!) (Mmmmm, orangey!) has gone missing.
Please, for the love of God, please, do not use these cables! The very existence of Earth may depend on your decision!
159 of 164 people found the following review helpful
on June 24, 2008
This amazing product significantly improved my transfer speeds, so much so that my packets now arrive at their destination before they're sent. In fact, I haven't even typed this review yet.