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Depressed Child: A Parent's Guide for Rescuing Kids

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As someone who has experience child and adolescent depression from both directions-having been a depressed child and the mother of a depressed adolescent-I couldn't stop my head from nodding in agreement with each "hopeless belief" Dr. Riley uncovered and addressed in his most recent book, The Depressed Child: A Parent's Guide for Rescuing Kids. I quietly folded the book back together after reading the last chapter, filled with a sense of relief. Finally, there is help out there!

With this book, Dr. Riley confirms the seriousness of a childhood problem often ignored and rarely understood by parents (and other adults responsible for the well-being of children). But, unlike other books written on this subject, he is not satisfied with simply bringing child and adolescent depression to a level of awareness. Instead, in a very calm yet firm, non-confrontational yet assertive tone, Dr. Riley insists that parents accept responsibility and take an active role in rescuing their children from depression. And just as clearly he provides them, in the form of "replacement beliefs," with the lifelines they need to do so.

While he acknowledges that chemical imbalances can cause depression, Dr. Riley's focus is on cognitive, or thought-based, depression. The book is organized around ten hopeless beliefs depressed children and adolescents often adopt about their selves and their lives. By using real-life examples from his years as a practicing child and adolescent psychologist, Dr. Riley is able to let the reader see not only the child's negative thought process in action but also how to challenge and restructure it.

Readers will not be turned off by any psycho-babble or professional jargon. Instead, this book is written clearly with the intended audience, concerned parents, in mind. References and examples are tangible, realistic and current. In fact, Dr. Riley has worked hard to relate to the current trends of the day by making numerous references and connections between good old-fashioned humanness and the age of technology, for example when he insists that "Fortunately, the brain can be reprogrammed."

It is with one of his references to technology, however, that I have my one complaint about this book. In mentioning sources available for readers who want information beyond the focus of his book, Dr. Riley suggests that any information acquired via any web site "should be read with a grain of salt." Certainly there are many, many web sites that should be discounted in terms of accuracy and believability; there are, however, effective ways to establish the credibility of the architect and information posted. The blessing of the Internet is that it has flung wide open doors that previously blocked information, knowledge and support from a huge segment of society and has piqued the curiosity and satisfied the needs of millions. As a matter a fact, I never would have known about Dr. Riley's book, if it wasn't for being "wired" - and for that matter, nor would this review exist without the aid of a web site. I certainly hope those who read this book review take what I have to say with much more than a grain of salt.

In his book, Dr. Riley states that childhood and adolescent depression is "the brain's attempt to get the conscious mind's attention." The Depressed Child: A Parent's Guide for Rescuing Kids is Dr. Riley's attempt to get the parents' attention. While the real value of this book comes to those who have a child already identified as being depressed (there is still a desparate need for a book that helps parents recognize early signs of depression), given the social climate of today it should be required reading for parents of all school-aged children.

This book not only describes the symptoms of depression, but also gives parents a plan to "rescue" their children. I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is highly readable and understandable.

The Depressed Child: A Parent's Guide To Rescuing Kids is a book written to empower parents who feel helpless in understanding the negative self-images and unhappy emotions that affect their children. Author Dr. Douglas Riley is a clinical psychologist who specializes in child and adolescent psychology, who has operated a private outpatient clinic since 1994; here, he presents parents with clear, detailed, easy-to-understand information about adolescent depression and what to do about it. Topics include how to overcome the "I'm inferior" myth; how to handle the "miniature marriage" phenomenon in teen dating relationships and providing consolation when these "marriages" fail; and how to evaluate and select from the methods to manage a child's depression. Sobering, powerful, and essential to understanding the mind of a depressed adolescent, The Depressed Child is highly recommended.

i consider this and When Nothing Matter's Anymore by Cobain to be very strong books on the discourse of childhood depression. It is a must if you are raising a depressed child, are a sibling of one or having been one yourself. I respect this sensitive topic being discussed because very rarely is childhood depression taken seriously or discussed in our society where everyone is supposed to be upbeat and smiling 24/7 such as ours. Fabulous book, it will be a mistake if you do not read it and apply it.

This is a wonderful insightful book that is well written, concise and easy to understand for the average parent. It has not only been extremely important to me in identifying the negative thought patterns that I see in my children who are depressed, it was illuminating to read about "miniature marriages", something I had never heard termed in quite that way and I realized that my 16-year-old was in and, accidentally, with my blessing! I have already made drastic changes based on what I have read in this book and already, in a span of about 10 days, see positive results. One of the most helpful things about this book are the samples of conversations with children who have faulty thinking. It is important to listen to the negative self-defeating statements depressed children might make, and challenge those beliefs in a gently questioning manner, so they can come to understand how distorted their own thinking is. The examples given have proven very useful to me. Depression runs in my family, and there might be some bio-chemical foundation for that, and this book deals with thought-based or cognitive depression but it is extremely helpful anyway. I am starting family therapy with my children, but this book will be something I will keep at my side to help me as I work through these issues. I recommend it to anyone struggling with children who seem down in the dumps or discouraged, or seriously depressed.

Why blame parents?
Periodically, the media report the increasing incidence of suicide in children and young people. Causes, highlight loneliness, abuse, parents neglect, a major loss. I think is a very simplistic way of looking at a deeply complex disease medical science is trying to understand. It has undeniable biochemical and cerebral elements: there are usually essential for the proper functioning of brain chemicals - neurotransmitter deficits usually serotonin, noradrenaline or dopamine and alteration in the synapses or neural unions. Blame the parents, who most often have nothing to do with the triggering event of suicide. In large percentage, hereditary depression is the cause. This, no parent is responsible for. There are families with many children, of which only one or two inherited and manifest disease.
I am doctor and, as patients, I have mothers of young people who died by suicide or attempts have been made. Without exception, are beautiful people, loving, attentive to their home. With irreparable injury in the heart by the loss of the child. Their children were successful. Stable, households without striking conflicts, other healthy children. See also children and wives of adults who committed suicide. All report that someone in the family had severe depression.
Why I believe that we cannot accept is to say suicide occurs by abuse or neglect. They are triggers that some people with depression or other psychiatric pathology lead to suicide. In many cases there was a deep depression, without which the abuse or neglect do not trigger suicide base. Loneliness, domestic violence, a loving or economic loss, etc. are facts each individual responds according to their neurological, biochemical, psychological, and personal world events: each face and resolve the situation or accepted; others leave home and/or become aggressive; some turn to drugs and ones manifested a depression with isolation, negative thoughts and ideas of handicap, ruin, death or suicide, eventually coming to run. Judge them is ignorance.
The depression grows day by day in the world and is projected as the most important disease and disabling by 2020, with profound influences on personal life, family and work. Unknown if scarce affective ties, egocentrism, competitive and accelerated pace of life today, even contemporary so unbalanced diet, excessive electromagnetic fields - which are an environmental aggression to which our race had not been exposed - and other factors unknown, perhaps cause, besides inheritance, this growing overset. On the other hand, it is undeniable that love, family care and having resolved the basic needs are protective elements dampening depression and heal the normal crises of life. But they are not treatment for severe depression.
I therefore invite all to be alert to the signs of this disease in yourself or a family member or friend: desire for solitude, excess or lack of sleep, handicap, negative or suicidal, physical pain without medical cause that are presented to repetition, aggressiveness, fatigue, lack of personal arrangement among others.
In this case, we must consult a doctor, since, according to the depression, there are many solutions: antidepressant medications (which are not addictive), psychotherapy of various types, conductive therapy, exercise, diet, change style of life, family constellations, desintoxicaciones, etc. You are using and investigating various treatments. If one does not work, we must find another. And in this is that what friends and family really can help: accompanied, have patience, suggest that a doctor should be consulted, insist on finding solutions. Improve relations and habits. Love and not blame.
Elsa Lucia Arango





¿Por qué culpar a los padres? (El Tiempo, 3 de septiembre)


Periódicamente, los medios informan de la incidencia creciente de suicidio en niños y jóvenes. Como causas, resaltan la soledad, el maltrato, el abandono de los padres, una pérdida importante. Creo que es una forma muy simplista de mirar una enfermedad profundamente compleja y que la ciencia médica está procurando entender. Tiene elementos bioquímicos y cerebrales innegables: generalmente hay déficit de un neurotransmisor -sustancias químicas indispensables para el buen funcionamiento cerebral-, usualmente serotonina, noradrenalina o dopamina, y alteración en las sinapsis o uniones neuronales. Se culpa a los padres, quienes la mayoría de las veces no tienen nada que ver con el evento desencadenante del suicidio. En gran porcentaje, la depresión hereditaria es la causante. De esto, ningún padre es responsable. Hay familias con muchos hijos, de los cuales solo uno o dos heredan y manifiestan la enfermedad.
Soy médica y tengo, como pacientes, a mamás de jóvenes que murieron por suicidio o han hecho intentos. Sin excepción, son bellas personas, amorosas, atentas a su hogar, con una herida irreparable en el corazón por la pérdida del hijo. Sus hijos eran exitosos. Hogares estables, sin conflictos llamativos, los otros hijos sanos. Igualmente, atiendo a hijos y esposas de adultos que se suicidaron. Todos relatan que alguien de la familia tenía depresión severa.
Por ello, creo que no podemos conformarnos con decir que el suicidio ocurre por abandono o mal trato. Son desencadenantes que a algunas personas con depresión u otra patología psiquiátrica los llevan a cometer suicidio. En muchos casos existía de base una depresión profunda, sin la cual el maltrato o el abandono no desencadenan suicidio. La soledad, la violencia intrafamiliar, una pérdida amorosa o económica, etc. son eventos a los que cada individuo responde según su mundo personal, psicológico, bioquímico y neurológico: unos enfrentan y resuelven la situación o la aceptan; otros abandonan el hogar y/o se tornan agresivos; algunos acuden a las drogas y unos manifiestan una depresión con aislamiento, pensamientos negativos e ideas de minusvalía, ruina, muerte o suicidas, que eventualmente llegan a ejecutar. Juzgarlos es ignorancia.
La depresión crece día a día en el mundo y se proyecta como la enfermedad más importante y discapacitante para el 2020, con profundas influencias en lo personal, familiar y laboral. Desconocemos si los escasos lazos afectivos, el egocentrismo, el ritmo acelerado y competitivo de vida actual, incluso tal vez la dieta contemporánea tan desequilibrada, el exceso de campos electromagnéticos -que son una agresión ambiental a la que nuestra raza no había estado expuesta- y otros factores que desconocemos, sean los causantes, además de la herencia, de este desbordado crecimiento. Por otro lado, es innegable que el amor, el cuidado familiar y el tener resueltas las necesidades básicas son elementos protectores que amortiguan una depresión y sanan las crisis normales de la vida. Pero no son tratamiento para una depresión severa.
Por ello, invito a todos a estar alerta a los signos de esta enfermedad en uno mismo o en un familiar o amigo: deseo de soledad, exceso o falta de sueño, minusvalía, ideación negativa o suicida, generalmente de difícil control por parte del enfermo, dolores físicos sin causa médica que se presentan a repetición, agresividad, cansancio, ausencia de arreglo personal, entre otros.
En ese caso, debemos consultar al médico, ya que, según la depresión, hay muchas soluciones: medicamentos antidepresivos (que no son adictivos), psicoterapia de diversos tipos, terapia conductiva, ejercicios, dieta, cambio de estilo de vida, constelaciones familiares, desintoxicaciones, etc. Se están utilizando e investigando diversos tratamientos. Si uno no sirve, debemos buscar otro. Y es en eso en lo que la familia y amigos realmente podemos ayudar: en acompañar, tener paciencia, sugerir que se consulte un médico, insistir en buscar soluciones. Mejorar relaciones y hábitos. Amar y no culpar.
Elsa Lucía Arango