Customer Reviews

Desire: Women Write About Wanting

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Lisa Solod Warren has produced a vividly lush collection of writings with many talented contributors. At turns funny, poignant and philosophical, these biographical essays--Psyche's crystalline shards--make an extraordinary book. Desire reads as a beautiful mix of elegy and ode to the institutions of marriage and intimacy, among others, redolent with wisdom gleaned the hard way, and the beauty that brings. Warren has done a great service to the term Desire and has filled in the portrait of feminism with more richness. I will be revisiting these essays, in search of the exquisitely turned phrases and the wealth of contrasts, and the rare, forceful honesty, the complexity of mixed feelings in high contrast. I will be gifting this volume to many of the women in my life.

This collection of essays on desire is a beautiful and challenging ride through the multi-form manifestations that desire takes in the lives of women. From love and sex to success and acclaim to religion and the desire to help others (and even a desire for a kind of Zen "desirelessness"), I am impressed at the high quality of writing and the courage and candor these writers muster on the page. These are not merely sentimental, pornographic, angry, dreamy, or weepy essays (all of which are fragmented emotions). They seem to spring from a place of emotional maturity where the fragments have been merged by trials of living into that one elemental "emotion-which-contains-all-emotions" that is the "Desire" of the book's focus. Reading them as a man, I'm taken with how the range of essays spans what poet Gary Snyder calls the three manifestations of the goddess: daughters, lovers/wives/friends, and mothers, and how the exigencies of each stage impact, imprint, or alter one's desire in specific and moving ways or moments in time. It's so hard to write well about sex, yet Fair, Bussel, and Baechler, for instance, create witty, graphic, and unapologetic characterizations of physical love. Baechler's essay wonderfully reveals our desire to push the limits of taboos during sex in viable and non-violent ways. It skillfully portrays the roles of fantasy and experimentation in our desire for physical expression and release. Daniell's essay reminds me of Lawrence's image of marriage as a binary star where the stars must remain in delicate balance or one will be subsumed into the other or one may fly off into space forever. The essays about motherhood by Oxnard and Leiter reveal the desire for creation of life itself and how age and circumstance affect it. Finally, Bucholt's essay about the death of a dear friend shows the awe-inspiring and awful heights of emotion we go through in our desire to understand the soul and the injustice of losing someone we love. This is a moving collection.

Having the distinct honor of knowing two of the writers featured in the first section, "Of the Body," I had to rush at the chance to write a review. My expectations were met far beyond what I could have ever imagined. The entire collection covers essays "Of the Body," "Of the Soul," and "For the Real."

One essay in particular covers sexual taboos without being overtly X-rated, all within the mind of the sexy protagonist, who goes back and forth between her "Regular Guy" and her fantasies. Reading the essay is like diving headfirst into a Disney film for adults, with enchanting colorful images and irresistible aromas. Connie Baechler unleashes the taboos many women are still too embarrassed to mention without the "yes, buts" going through their heads. Another piece I thoroughly enjoyed was Rachel Kramer Bussel's deconstruction of female desire in "Where Sluts Fear to Tread." This hit immediately in the vein of what is slutty versus what is sexy, and Bussel does an amazing job trying to figure out her place in the melee. Lastly, not to be missed is Jane Juska's piece,"Younger than Winter," on trying to retain sexiness as you get older. Very honest and very funny, I gobbled it right up.

I truly cannot wait to finish the entire collection. Warren has done an excellent job in choosing essays that are erotic, funny and intelligent, making for a truly thought-provoking collection. After thumbing through the second and third section, I know I'll be more than satisfied.

-A. Barton
www.ashleygraceless.com

This book really made a difference in my life - it connected me with women who own their desires (for various things from sex to children to time to grieve) and helped me to do the same.

Reading this book was such an adventure from start to finish. The order in which Lisa Warren organizes the essays is perfect. I am in my early twenties and it was like I was getting a glimpse into my crystal ball. I am getting married in a few weeks and reading this was so much more beneficial than any of those mumbo-jumbo marital counseling sessions that everyone insists you endure. I would read one essay every night before going to bed and bombard my fiancé with a million what-if questions. It opened my/our eyes to the emotions and struggles that I will inevitably face in the decades to come. The essays explore the uncertainty and insecurity of each decade, staring from our teens. It's got it all - love, sex, marriage, divorce, pregnancy, aging . . . My sister, mom and grandmother ALL thoroughly enjoyed this book. It is by no means a touchy, feely book. It's blunt and harsh, but it's so refreshing that these women are putting it all out there! It is a perfect collection of life's imperfections - I highly recommend it.