Desiring God's Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God [Paperback]

David G. Benner (Author), Thomas H. Green S.J. (Foreword)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 6, 2005

We overhear Jesus' prayer in the garden of Gethsemane--"not my will, but thine be done"--but have trouble honestly making it our own. (from the Introduction) Most people think of God's will as something to be found or as the receiving of guidance from God when making decisions. We assume that if we just knew what God wanted, we'd do it. Too often, however, the problem is not that we don't know what God desires for our lives, but rather that we just don't want to do what we already know he wants. Sometimes, though, we try to live the Christian life out of sheer self-determination and grit, only to discover that our will is not sufficient to sustain us. How might our wills be changed so that we become both willing and able to do what God asks of us? In Desiring God's Will psychologist and spiritual director David G. Benner explores the transformation of the will in Christian spirituality. He examines why our desires are disordered and how our human volition can be brought into alignment with God's intentions so that we willingly choose that which God wants for us. In so doing, Benner shows us that cultivating discernment and being attuned to God's desires is the path to true life, spiritual health and freedom. God wants to change our choosing, not just our choices. By aligning our hearts with God's, we will find liberation from the kingdom of self and instead experience the joy of the kingdom of God.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Discovering God's will is much more than simply making right choices regarding such events as marriage or career. According to psychologist and spiritual director Benner, surrendering to God's will is choosing God over self in all areas of life. It is willingness instead of willfulness. In this short book, veteran spirituality writer Benner takes a close look at willfulness in the forms of discipline and rigidity, then contrasts those with the freedom that comes with knowing God's love. That love, he says, is the basis for our surrender to God. With that surrender comes desire, and with that desire a willingness to make God, not self, the center of life. Benner admits to his struggles with willfulness, including God's plan for him to write this book instead of the one Benner planned, but he also describes the spiritual transformation he desires and sometimes fully achieves. He quotes often from the spiritual leaders of the past, a refreshing change from some modern authors who reduce God's will to "sin avoidance." His discussion of consolation, the name given by St. Ignatius for the feeling that we are aligned with God, and desolation, the feeling of being far from God, is an interesting and valuable addition to the book.
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Review

"According to psychologist and spiritual director Benner, surrendering to God's will is choosing God over self in all areas of life." (Publishers Weekly, December 13, 2004 (starred review) )

"David G. Benner has done it again! Desiring God's Will is the perfect capstone for one of the finest trilogies of Christian spiritual formation that has ever been written. I recommend it for any serious seeker who desires for his or her heart to resonate in perfect pitch with the heart of God." (Gary W. Moon, Vice President for Spiritual Development, Psychological Studies Institute, and author of Falling for God )

"Can it really be that the things I most deeply want point me toward God? Can it be that these same things tell me something about what God deeply wants for me? With hope and clarity, David Benner demonstrates that the answers to these questions are a resounding yes. Psychologically sound and spiritually compelling, this book moves us beyond our fear and suspicion that somehow God's desires for us and ours for ourselves are mutually exclusive, to a path for discerning God's will that is deeply satisfying because it is congruent with our authentic self in God." (Ruth Haley Barton, cofounder, The Transforming Center, spiritual director, author of Invitation to Solitude and Silence )

"David Benner releases us from the burden of having to figure out God's will, which too often becomes an obsession to us. Instead, he invites us to embrace the will of God as we know it for today. Along the way he provides enormously helpful categories: we should be willing but not willful; we should explore our true desires, not dismiss all desire as bad; we should realize that God's will has less to do with a particular decision and more to do with the most important decision we will ever make--to pursue God. I found this short book helpful and insightful. It was obvious that Benner did not write this book on a whim. The material has been simmering in his soul for some time." (Gerald L. Sittser, Professor of Religion, Whitworth College, and author of The Will of God as a Way of Life )

"Desiring God's Will is a fresh alternative to today's common spiritual writing. David Benner has written a penetrating book, faithful to ancient truth, that goes beyond the facile 'how to' and seeks to confront the heart of our rebellion, independence and pride. This is a welcome gift to those who want to move past easy answers as they surrender to a truly authentic faith and walk with God." (Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Pathways and Sacred Marriage )

"David Benner has a unique perspective in assisting the contemporary pray-er to achieve that true openness which is essential for genuine discernment. . . . Desiring God's Will achieves a happy balance of tradition and contemporary relevance." (From the foreword by Thomas Green, S.J., author of When the Well Runs Dry )

"Benner has provided a masterful understanding of God's will that rightly places the emphasis upon a loving, responsive relationship with God rather than the correct performance of a structure of 'duties.' This is one of very few books on Christian spirituality that I couldn't wait to get back to when I had to break off reluctantly for other duties." (M. Robert Mulholland, author of Invitation to a Journey )

"This is really a wonderful book, a powerful book, a life-giving book--Benner speaks so honestly, openly and directly to our lust for the self-determination and control that keeps us from knowing the joy and freedom of a God-centered life, a life of willingness in response to God's constant personal love. Reading this book I came to know more fully than ever before how much God desires me." (Dom M. Basil Pennington, O.C.S.O., author of Lectio Divina and Centering Prayer )

"In Desiring God's Will, the third in his trilogy, David Benner writes in a deeply personal way of the corrective activist Christians need, not so much to seek guidance as to deeply desire God's will. No more important message could be given us in our narcissistic culture. Poignantly written, this is a life-changing book." (James M. Houston, Emeritus Professor of Regent College, Regent College, Vancouver )

"David Benner never disappoints. He is intelligent without being academic, psychologically astute without being trendy, spiritually profound without being pious. He clearly knows the landscape from which he dares to speak." (Fr. Richard Rohr, O.F.M., Center for Action and Contemplation, Albuquerque, New Mexico )

"This is for people who want God. Even more, it is for people who want to want God. It is about not the taming of the will but its transformation." (John Ortberg, author, teaching pastor, Menlo Park Presbyterian Church )

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Product Details

• Paperback: 123 pages
• Publisher: IVP Books (January 6, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0830832610
• ISBN-13: 978-0830832613
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.3 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #63,747 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

David G. Benner (Ph.D., York University) is Emeritus Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Spirituality at Richmont Graduate University in Atlanta, Georgia. Previously he was an associate fellow at the Centre for Studies in Religion and Society at University of Victoria in British Columbia, Canada. A psychologist, spiritual director and retreat leader, Benner has written and edited many books, including the Baker Encyclopedia of Psychology and Counseling and Care of Souls. He is the founding executive editor of the journal Conversations.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Knowing God's will, September 17, 2005

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FrKurt Messick "FrKurt Messick" (Bloomington, IN USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Desiring God's Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God (Paperback)

David Benner states in his epilogue that there is a difference between doing the right 'thing' and following the right 'way'. It is by going the right way that our will is most aligned with God's will for us - it is not something that is simply reducible to a list of things to do, or even a figuring out for particular decisions 'What would Jesus do?' This might have a component in the process, but this is not the entirety of the process.

In the Benedictine rule, one of the vows made is conversion of life. This isn't the road to Damascus kind of conversion, and Benner recognises that in the kind of transformation most of us are called to seek. 'Our response to God's presence is not usually the Damascus Road knocked-off-our-feet-and-struck-blind epxerience of Paul (Acts 9:1-9). Typically, God's presence is more subtle, and our reactions are correspondingly attenuated.'

Benner discusses the Examen and discernment process of St. Ignatius as a key way of looking at how our will and God's will might work together. The opposite poles of consolation and desolation are highlighted as means by which we can attune ourselves more completely with God's will. This is a very different thing that seeing the idea of following God's will as one more new year's resolution (an analogy Benner draws early in the book). We all have willfulness, which can have a darker side (Benner highlights the character of Judas, among others, and certainly the apostle Paul spoke at length about the problems of the will).

Benner calls love the antidote of this dark side of willfulness. This is contained in the Lord's Prayer - how often do we say this prayer by rote recitation, rather than hearing the impact of the words. Thy kindgom come. Thy will be done. These are very different from our natural impulses, which would guide each of us to say to herself or himself, 'my will be done.' Benner says that the question is not whether to pray or not, but rather which prayer to say, and that, 'when it comes right down to it, there are really only two possible prayers that can be prayed.' My will be done, or thy will be done.

Benner also introduces the spiritual practice of lectio divina, a time honoured practice that engages scripture and other spiritual classic writing with our heart, head and spirit. Approaching the scripture with open heart and mind, with an air of expectation that something new from the spirit will be revealed, is at the centre of this practice.

Benner is honest in saying that the will of God does not always lead to happiness, at least not as the world perceives it. This is no 'prosperity gospel' text. Sometimes the will of God leads to the cross, as any Christian should be well aware. However, there is the consolation, the heart-felt acceptance of God's presence, that comes from the entry into this kind of process.

Benner's book is a wonderful guide to the beginnings of spiritual direction. While spiritual direction is something best done in community or with a more experience person as guide, there are insights to be gained from this text about individual practices. Hopefully it will motivate the reader to continue further into discernment of where God's will lies.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Desiring God's Will, August 25, 2009

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Charles B. Sharrow - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Desiring God's Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God (Paperback)

Very good book, I think this is the best book I have read on God's will

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars David Benner is always profitable, June 20, 2009

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Thomas A. Stanwyck (Dundee, OR USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Desiring God's Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God (Paperback)

David Benner is always profitable to read. This little book reinforces well a truth that will enable the reader to live in joy. Two other titles that go well with this are "Surrender to Love" and "Desiring God's Will." These three especially are in the great tradition of Brother Lawrence's "The Practice of the Presence of God." I buy these to give them away.