How Desis Became The Greatest Nation On Earth [Paperback]

Minhaj Arifin (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 4, 2012

Humorous Fiction Novel

"After watching a TV show about glamorous people saving folks from drowning, I decided that I wanted to come to America to become a life guard. I imagined myself running across the beach to save lovely drowning girls. Sometimes I imagined saving three girls at a time who would be holding on to my two legs and one hand while I used the remaining hand to swim to shore as people cheered for me. I discussed these aquatic desires with my cousin but he warned me.
"In America women wear mini skirts and people drink alcohol till late hours of the night! Sometimes they go bungee jumping. They live for this world and not the next. What will you do over there?"
 I went straight to the American embassy and applied for a visa. When my visa was approved I was thrilled! I was coming to America! The beach was waiting! I landed in North Dakota."

Why North Dakota?
 Because I had an uncle living over there. And here's the thing you need to understand about Desis. We only go to places where a relative already resides. This is why Desis have never sent a man to the moon. It's not because we don't have the technology. It's because we don't have an uncle living up there." 

Product Details

• Paperback: 246 pages
• Publisher: Hi There News, LLC (February 4, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0983863016
• ISBN-13: 978-0983863014
• Product Dimensions: 0.6 x 5.9 x 8.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #619,045 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

One thing that I was doing a lot at work was taking power naps. Sometimes I became powerful during meetings. I think I took the idea of power naps to a new level when I started bringing a pillow to work. I had developed these values by never actually working while growing up in Pakistan. There were some nice people who did all the laundry, cleaning, and cooking. Though this was a luxury, it had left me with very few skills other than breathing, but even for that I have to give credit to my lungs which have been collecting oxygen for me automatically.
When I came to America, I got involved in the world of fast food. While I never became 'Employee of the Month,' I was the most talked about employee. In pizza delivery, I was the first driver to take a pizza not only to the wrong address but to the wrong city. The manager told me that he had never met anyone like me. I don't think he meant it as a compliment, but it did make me feel unique. He also said things like, 'Okay now deliver this pizza, and try to stay in America this time.'
Working in the pizza world, really fired my imagination, because I ate a lot of bread sticks. And believe me, when you eat that many breadsticks, thoughts are born. One night under a star lit sky, with moonlight making the trees look nice, I carried a double cheese vegetable pizza while being chased by a large angry dog, the size of a horse. I realized then, that I was a writer. And so, at that moment, I Minhaj Arifin became your friend. Hi there! Feel free to write to me:

[e-mail]

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A funny book with a good heart... February 15, 2012

By Ironman of Peace

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This book is a fast-paced, laugh-out-loud rollercoaster ride of fun in an imaginative world on top of our own. It's hard to classify this novel but it could be described as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory meets The Count of Monte Cristo meets The Odyssey. I could easily relate to the main character Adnan and his struggle to deal with the daily grind of life. I was inspired by his decision to change his destiny and with it the destiny of his people. Adnan is both frustrated with how things are, but also admires many things about how we live and experience the world. The descriptions of the characters' surroundings are full of positivity and optimism. The book has unpredictable turns that are hilarious and surprising. Arifin has the ability to transfer his vivid observations and enjoyment of everyday mundane things to the reader. Washing a car gets the same detailed treatment as meeting the President. I found many layers in this book which warrant a re-read. At the surface, it's a train of hilarious jokes, one-liners, and plays on words. One level deeper in are puns on and comments about desi culture. Even deeper still is a social/political commentary about how we live in society and suggestions for how we should be living. If you are looking for a fun read, you have a found treasure.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious February 20, 2012

By Avid reader

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This is one hilarious page turner that kept me up until the wee hours of the AM as I joined in the crazy adventures of the desi league. Sleepy or not I could not put it down until I knew exactly how the wild ride would end. Every page will have you laughing out loud and wondering what could possibly happen next in this unique and whacky world. The author's imagination knows no bounds as he carries you along with him but the true marvel of this book lies in the brilliantly yet subtly portrayed ironies of 'desi' society and American society and humanity in general. A true genius with a highly refreshing approach, I found myself missing the characters after closing the book and longing to leave my life to be a part of theirs.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars For the expat March 14, 2012

By Olga de Visser

Format:Paperback

This book is awesome. I've lived outside my country for 7 years, although I'm Dutch not a Desi,I recognize a lot in this book by living in different countries/cultures. It's a fun story and it helps to laugh about things what happens, when you live in a different world with different habits. Minhaj keeps the humor throughout the entire book.
So it is a must read to all expatriates!

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A wild ride indeed! March 18, 2012

By Superreader

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

A wild ride indeed! This book takes you on a journey of adventure and soul-searching by Adnan and his loyal desi league posse. The author shows a keen sense of understanding of the immigrant community. His nuanced social commentary will have you in stitches and contemplating the intricacies of immigrant life all at the same time. A great read!

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious, a must read by every Desi!!!! March 2, 2012

By BossOfHim

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I have been waiting for a truly entertaining book on Desis that hits all the right spots for those who come to the West, settle down, build a life, and have children of their own. Minhaj does this with a funny flair, guarded passion, soft sarcasm, and mixes this with a blunt dose of reality that leaves one smiling.

He has shown mastery in taking sharp jabs at ethnic life style at the same time not being obnoxious. The deadpan humor he displays in his book over and over again is an art-form.

This is fantastic work and fills a void in the area of humor in Desi oriented literature. I would venture to say he is the Khaled Hosseni (Kite Runner) of the Desi humor world.

I hope he continues to thrill us with similar jewels in the future. He is a great talent and makes us Desis proud!!!!

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars entertaining, funny, informative about immigrants. February 25, 2012

By republican84

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This is a wickedly humorous book about Indian/Pakistani immigrants that move to the United States. The author's astute and clever observations are funny and dead on. In some ways this book is like an ethnography and contributes anthropologically to the body of knowledge surrounding Indostani immigrants. I strongly recommend this book to business persons, educators, and persons in health care that interact with this population to gain insight into the culture. Overall, a great read!!!

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Too funny! February 12, 2012

By starsky

Format:Paperback

I don't get much time for reading these days, but this book is a great read and worth the time. With all the predictable storylines out there, I was a little skeptical, will it build on South Asian stereotypes, will it be another depressing portrayal of the cultural restrictions in that part of the world? Luckily, it is neither. I was pulled in as Adnan goes through self-discovery and the book builds suspense on where the story line will go. It quickly picks up as the characters experience a number of misadventures. The characters that join Adnan are hilarious personifications of annoying people who we've all had to deal with, but can't tell off because we're too polite. The author's funny lens on life doesn't spare anyone or anything- teenage fashion sense which bewilders the rest of us,the high school teacher who meant well but drove you nuts, the practical and socially acceptable spouse that's crushing your soul. The narrator appears earnest, which makes his observations even funnier and there are moments when you wonder if he is really saying things tongue in cheek. There are some gems in there which you have to reread to savor. This is the first time in a long time I've laughed out loud while reading a book.