Destined for Destiny: The Unauthorized Autobiography of George W. Bush [Paperback]

Scott Dikkers (Author), Peter Hilleren (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 5, 2008

In Destined for Destiny, George W. Bush offers readers an intimate, plainspoken, and often readable look at the character-shaping achievements that led to his inevitable rise to the office of President of the United States.

Written from the heart, not from the brain, this definitive autobiography takes readers on a journey through the 43rd President's life, including his hardscrabble beginnings as the child of West Texas oil millionaires, the remarkable academic performance that earned him entry into the finest East Coast schools, and his proud service to the country as an occasional member of the National Guard sometime around 1972 or 1973.

He proudly recounts his years as a successful oil-business failure and the owner of a baseball team. He even dares to dream the ultimate dream: to become Commissioner of Baseball.

The great man we meet here displays his mother's steely resolve and vindictive temper, his father's keen mastery of language, and his own unique gift of deciding.

His gripping life story deepens when a faith in God hits him one day "like a bottle of Jack on an empty stomach," and he has an encounter with the Prince of Peace that sets George W. Bush on a path to become the greatest War President in history.

To help craft this lasting account of his life and leadership, George W. Bush turned to two writers who have earned not only his trust but his deep friendship: Scott Dikkers, editor-in-chief of The Onion and coauthor of the #1 bestseller Our Dumb Century, and Peter Hilleren, former producer for public radio and some of the nation's finest public-access cable-television stations. Dikkers and Hilleren call on their finely honed journalism expertise every week to write and record the President's weekly radio address on WeeklyRadioAddress.com. Their work on such stirring addresses as "June Terror Update" and "The Pope Is Dead" made them the ideal choice to meet the challenge of chronicling the visionary mark left on history by its shining light, President George W. Bush.

* * *

Free from all the filters, handlers, and facts . . .

I tell the untold story of my inspirational life. You will struggle with me in my strugglesome youth. During the Vietnam War, you will be right there at my side as I face down the terrible enemy of my sinful partying. Together, we will meet and fall head over heels for the love of my life -- Jesus. And through me you will become a beloved, terror-fighting hero in the greatest hour of my presidency, September 11, 2001.

I embarked upon this important and historical work against the advice of my advisors. Come what may, I wanted you to hear my story from me, in my own talking.

God bless,

George W. Bush

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In the tradition of Jon Stewart's America: The Book and satirical newspaper The Onion (which Dikkers runs as editor-in-chief), this faux autobiography recounts George W. Bush's mediocre rise from humble beginnings (as a child of "simple oil folks") to become the 43rd President of the United States. Dikkers and Hilleren play on every Bush stereotype, from his privileged insider perspective ("I believe in tax relief for Wal-Mart and other large department store chains which clothe and feed the poor") to his close and personal bond with his savior ("Hello, Jesus, my name is George W. Bush and I'm asking for your support in my run for Congress"), in a voice studded with Bush's trademark malapropisms. The authors also include fake artifacts, including newspaper clippings, White House memos and Bush's Yale admissions essay (complete with a note from Dad). Though the gags are often as sharp as they are stupid (chapter titles include "Then I Ran Some Companies into the Ground," "George Walker, Texas Ranger," and "The Clown-Faced Zombie I Call My Wife"), readers may find the joke wearing a little thin by the time they reach the 16-page photo spread of Bush with Jesus Christ. Readers may want to skip around to prevent satirical fatigue.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

Underscore unauthorized. Dikkers, founder and editor in chief of the satirical publication theOnion, and Hilleren, former public radio producer, joined to craft this humorous look at the life of President George W. Bush, as if penned by the forty-third president himself. They chronicle Bush's privileged childhood, his uninspiring academic performance, and his rise to wealth and influence in business and, finally, politics with the help of family connections. Written in imitation of Bush's breezy style, the facts are all there, but the tone is heavily satiric. Illustrations include a report card with grades altered, a loyalty oath signed by Laura Bush, and--after Bush's proclaimed religious conversion--the presence of Jesus in photographs of his life from babyhood through the presidential swearing-in ceremony through his speech at ground zero after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Bush detractors will find this book hilarious; his fans will be apoplectic. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Scribner (February 5, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743299671
• ISBN-13: 978-0743299671
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.4 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,074,024 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Scott Dikkers as written or co-written several bestselling books. He co-wrote and edited The Onion's Our Dumb Century, which has sold more than a half-million copies and was awarded the Thurber Prize for American Humor. His other books include The Onion's Finest News Reporting, which topped 200,000 in sales, the self-help parody You Are Worthless, and the "unauthorized autobiography" of George W. Bush, Destined for Destiny.

The #1 New York Times best-selling author also created the comic strip Jim's Journal, which is syndicated daily:

http://www.gocomics.com/jimsjournal

An accomplished filmmaker, Dikkers executive produced and directed The Onion News Network and the critically acclaimed independent feature Spaceman, as well as several award-winning short films.

His animation company, Dikkers Cartoon Company, features animated cartoons, games and other fun:

http://www.dikkers.com/index.php

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

46 of 51 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Red, White and True, October 22, 2006

By 

W.C. Snelgrove (Los Angeles, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Destined for Destiny: The Unauthorized Autobiography of George W. Bush (Hardcover)

Not since THE LITTLE GOAT has one single epitome so greatly exemplified the triumph of the human spirit. With disarming, almost childlike grace and vocabulary here is the story of "George W. Bush" in his own inimitable and endearingly simplistic idom. Hear the tale of his humble rise from a childhood of extreme economic privilege, which few could imagine, let alone endure. Then of his remarkable military record and distinguished business career which explain his appeal to the average, (and even below average) citizen. Then finally of his truly stunning rise to become our 44th or 45th President, (I'm not sure which). Page after page we are left wondering what the American people ever did to deserve such a book, let alone the man himself. I highly reccomend this book, as you will be filled with new found inspiration and a hunger for free hot dogs. I myself bought the audio book, since some of the werds in the printid version looked to diffikult to understamd.

32 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Eerily so like Dubya wrote this, October 30, 2006

By 

M. ORIAS "puccagirl73" (San Jose, CA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Destined for Destiny: The Unauthorized Autobiography of George W. Bush (Audio CD)

Give me a break people. The Chapter on Laura is not to be taken seriously. I mean no one has really taken a potshot at her, since she is not as controversial as Hillary or Nancy. LOL I turned heads at Borders when I was laughing out loud as I read it, so I definitely bought the book. Look at the pictures in the middle first because they are just creepy, hilarious, but creepy, perfect for Halloween.
This book is so much written in Dubya's signature English, it's scary, the authors were definitely channeling him. ;D

17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A little too true to life, October 18, 2006

By 

Count de Schaumbergh "militant moderate" (Washington, DC) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Destined for Destiny: The Unauthorized Autobiography of George W. Bush (Hardcover)

Obviously, if you're a fan of the weekly satire at weeklyradioaddress.com, then this book is for you. But the book succeeds on its own (lack of) merits, and while it's clear some people will call it mean for the stuff on Laura, that's probably the funniest part of the book. Why has Laura been off-limits? Hillary, Nancy, Rosalyn sure weren't. I think people are overprotective because they feel a little bit sorry for her...

Anyhow, the book is savage, but the attacks would seem harmless if the book wasn't so eerily dead-on in its voice. What sticks with you is that a real Presidential autobiography (one that wasn't ghostwritten) would sound a lot like this.

And the pictures are fantastic.