Customer Reviews

Destined for Destiny: The Unauthorized Autobiography of George W. Bush

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

Not since THE LITTLE GOAT has one single epitome so greatly exemplified the triumph of the human spirit. With disarming, almost childlike grace and vocabulary here is the story of "George W. Bush" in his own inimitable and endearingly simplistic idom. Hear the tale of his humble rise from a childhood of extreme economic privilege, which few could imagine, let alone endure. Then of his remarkable military record and distinguished business career which explain his appeal to the average, (and even below average) citizen. Then finally of his truly stunning rise to become our 44th or 45th President, (I'm not sure which). Page after page we are left wondering what the American people ever did to deserve such a book, let alone the man himself. I highly reccomend this book, as you will be filled with new found inspiration and a hunger for free hot dogs. I myself bought the audio book, since some of the werds in the printid version looked to diffikult to understamd.

Give me a break people. The Chapter on Laura is not to be taken seriously. I mean no one has really taken a potshot at her, since she is not as controversial as Hillary or Nancy. LOL I turned heads at Borders when I was laughing out loud as I read it, so I definitely bought the book. Look at the pictures in the middle first because they are just creepy, hilarious, but creepy, perfect for Halloween.
This book is so much written in Dubya's signature English, it's scary, the authors were definitely channeling him. ;D

Obviously, if you're a fan of the weekly satire at weeklyradioaddress.com, then this book is for you. But the book succeeds on its own (lack of) merits, and while it's clear some people will call it mean for the stuff on Laura, that's probably the funniest part of the book. Why has Laura been off-limits? Hillary, Nancy, Rosalyn sure weren't. I think people are overprotective because they feel a little bit sorry for her...

Anyhow, the book is savage, but the attacks would seem harmless if the book wasn't so eerily dead-on in its voice. What sticks with you is that a real Presidential autobiography (one that wasn't ghostwritten) would sound a lot like this.

And the pictures are fantastic.

Having read various accounts of the life of George W. Bush, I was familiar with most of the chapter information. As with most people in this country, we've also heard the "manglification" by Bush of the English language. And there is wide-spread press about his 91 IQ and how that relates to his thought process, attention span, interpersonal relationships, etc. This is the finest, and funniest, book that I've found that puts all of these elements together in one satire. We may never know what Bush is thinking - we might not want to know what he is thinking - but odds are that the authors have got the mindset of Bush pegged in this book, and if one of the events in Bush's life randomly comes to his mind, Bush's memories and rememberances are probably pretty close to what these guys have written. It's a hilarious book, a bit harsh once or twice, but very entertaining.

GEORGE W. BUSH: PORTRAIT OF A LEADER. THE GEORGE W. BUSH LEGACY. THE BUSH TRAGEDY. Numerous biographizers have biographized about George W. Bush, the 43rd and 44th President of the United States, respectfully, but these biographies all suffer the same fatal flaw: they're filled with facts. Thusly, Mr. President - or King George, as he's fond of being called - has written the definingest account of his own life and times, entitled DESTINED FOR DESTINY: THE UNAUTHORIZED AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF GEORGE W. BUSH.

More faithier than THE FAITH OF GEORGE W. BUSH, more partisaney than BUSHWHACKED, more funner than THE GEORGE W. BUSH COLORING BOOK - indeed, rawer than the finest sushi made by the most hard-workingest Chinamen, more unfiltered than even Ward Cleaver's Lucky Strikes - DESTINED FOR DESTINY tells George W. Bush's life story, in his own vernacular.

In this unauthorized, semi-autobiographical autobiography, President George W. Bush recounts his life's biography, touching upon a number of touchstone issues, including:

* His childhood struggle against excessive wealth and crippling privilege: "Like ROOTS, only white."

* His love for Laura: "I was blessed with the good fortune of meeting a wonderful small-town Texas woman who had a dazed and clueless stare reminiscent of a goat that had been struck between the eyes with a tire iron - a halting kind of beauty which every man desires in a woman."

* His non-battle with a drinking problem: "The day I realized that I was not an alcoholic changed my life."

* The Greatest Love of his Life: "Jesus."

* Al Gore: "I did not have a nickname for him because I did not have warm feelings for him. I only felt for him what one might feel for a calculator or other type of inhuman thinking box."

* The multi facets of 9/11: "9-11, September the 11th, and the events of 9-11, 2001."

* John Kerry: "[The Democrats] turned to dark forces, and created a candidate using perverted science. John Kerry was what they called it. He had the tall, lanky torso of Abe Lincoln, and the brain of my previous opponent, Al Gore. He also had Michael Dukakis's hair, Walter Mondale's charm, and the strong lower jaw of Herman Munster, the great Democratic President of the 1960s."

* His brave crusade against gay marriage: "We worked to protect marriage from the wrongful marriers."

* His enduring legacy: "I strongly believe that a large statue is called for, and I propose that this towering likeness be built in the glorious city center of the new, rebuilt New Orleans."

Our Dear Leader also ponders age-old ponderables, such as:

* Is our children learning?

* Will the highways on the Internet become more few?

* Does Brazil have blacks, too?

* Should steroids be banned from baseball?

* Is Brownie doing a heckuva a job, or the heckuvaest job?

In sum, it will leave meat-huggers and meat-eaters alike wanting a hot dog. Perhaps even one dipped in chocolate. (But not dark chocolate; in the words of dubya, full-time decision-maker and part-time wiener connoisseur, "A truly American snack treat must be covered in milk chocolate only.")

Because George W. Bush is no fan of words, or collections of words called books, he has generously shouted DESTINED FOR DESTINY into a sound machine so that his adoring subjects can read it with their ears. Even so, he urges you to buy a copy of each edition, as the book-with-words also contains never-before-seen family photos and super-secret governating documents, while the book-with-sounds has bonus extra soundy stuff, like never-before-heard radio addresses. Besides, if you don't buy at least one copy of each book, the terraists win. You should probably also buy a paperback edition when it's released, just to be safer. The US of A can never be too safer. From terraists. Did I mention the terraists? They perpetuated 9-11, you know.

Also, if you like George W. Bush, and you liked the book George W. Bush wrote about the story of George W. Bush's life, then you may also like Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA's story about his own life story, entitled I AM AMERICA (AND SO CAN YOU). Although Dr. Colbert is an sinning Catholic, who has said some unkind sayings about The True Christians, he is still a rich, snow-white, heterosexual man-boy, and is a loyal supporter of both George W. Bush and Jesus. Says Our Dear Leader: "Stephen Colbert: great punditer or The Greatest Punditer (tm)?".

That description from one of the opening chapter headings is a good indication of what's in store! This book is a roller coaster ride from humor so subtle and intuitive that you conclude that the authors are actually channeling Bush to wit so ascerbic and wickedly funny that you cringe in puritan guilt while laughing so hard that tears roll. I loved the forward "by" Dick Cheney. He ends his remarks with those similar to ones he has made on the floor of the Senate (anyone remember that?). The audio book is also really entertaining, with loads of added sketches and gags narrated by the voice of Bush from [...]. If we cant' be rid of this bunch, at least we can laugh through the next (painful) 2+ years!

"She insisted that 3 times 2 equaled 6. But I felt strongly that it equaled 9. This was one of those tired ideas put forth by the intellectuals, and it had little or no bearing on how things panned out in the real world....Miss Baumgartner, my first grade teacher, was hard on me, making me do the same homework as everyone else....."

The book is a work of comedy. If you do not like comedy, or are an avid Bush lover devoid of the capacity to appreciate comedic criticism; then don't buy the book! For the rest of you, you'll love it. However, the book does contain over one hundred and fifty pages of actual words; yes that's right, words. Furthermore, the font size of these so-called "words" the authors insist on using are relatively small. So I caution you reader, unless you're one of those "intellectuals" who know how to read, I would not recommended this book.

The book was hilarious. Bush is portrayed as an intellectually lazy arrogant spoiled kid from one of the most privileged families in America, who never really grew up. The strength of this book is that it makes him look like an idiot, and to a point it's believable.

I think the only weakness is that it goes too far in exaggerating his stupidity. If the exaggeration were not so extreme, the book would have been even funnier, making the premise more believable.

The book appeals to readers who, like me, think that Bush is arguably the worst president in history. A little bit of exaggeration can go a long way toward making that point.

Even my friends who voted for Bush admit that this is a very funny recording. If only it weren't so "spot on"! They've caught the very essence of our Buffoon In Chief.

If you like the Onion, you'll find much to like in this book. Unfortunately, it also suffers from the same flaws as the Onion.

The writing style is spot on, and manages a good parody of how Dubya would write, if his speaking style is any indication. The authors lampoon every phase of George Bush's life, and in many cases don't even have to make anything up.

Unfortunately, the book also has one of the same problems as the Onion: many of the articles there have very good headines, but the article merely restates the headline joke in various ways, rather than elaborating upon it, so that one winds up reading the same joke over and over a dozen times. The same is true of Destined for Destiny. Several of the chapters make the same point over and over, without much elaboration, until it becomes tedious rather than funny.

Still, there are plenty of good parts in here, including the photo gallery, showing Jesus by Bush's side throughout his life. You may want to skip the second half of some chapters.