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Destructive Emotions: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama [Paperback]

Daniel Goleman
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)

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Book Description

March 30, 2004
*Why do seemingly rational, intelligent people commit acts of cruelty and violence?

*What are the root causes of destructive behavior?

*How can we control the emotions that drive these impulses?

*Can we learn to live at peace with ourselves and others?

Imagine sitting with the Dalai Lama in his private meeting room with a small group of world-class scientists and philosophers. The talk is lively and fascinating as these leading minds grapple with age-old questions of compelling contemporary urgency. Daniel Goleman, the internationally bestselling author of Emotional Intelligence, provides the illuminating commentary—and reports on the breakthrough research this historic gathering inspired.

Destructive Emotions

Buddhist philosophy tells us that all personal unhappiness and interpersonal conflict lie in the “three poisons”: craving, anger, and delusion. It also provides antidotes of astonishing psychological sophistication--which are now being confirmed by modern neuroscience. With new high-tech devices, scientists can peer inside the brain centers that calm the inner storms of rage and fear. They also can demonstrate that awareness-training strategies such as meditation strengthen emotional stability—and greatly enhance our positive moods.

The distinguished panel members report these recent findings and debate an exhilarating range of other topics: What role do destructive emotions play in human evolution? Are they “hardwired” in our bodies? Are they universal, or does culture determine how we feel? How can we nurture the compassion that is also our birthright? We learn how practices that reduce negativity have also been shown to bolster the immune system. Here, too, is an enlightened proposal for a school-based program of social and emotional learning that can help our children increase self-awareness, manage their anger, and become more empathetic.

Throughout, these provocative ideas are brought to life by the play of personalities, by the Dalai Lama’s probing questions, and by his surprising sense of humor. Although there are no easy answers, the dialogues, which are part of a series sponsored by the Mind and Life Institute, chart an ultimately hopeful course. They are sure to spark discussion among educators, religious and political leaders, parents—and all people who seek peace for themselves and the world.


The Mind and Life Institute sponsors cross-cultural dialogues that bring together the Dalai Lama and other Buddhist scholars with Western scientists and philosophers. Mind and Life VIII, on which this book is based, took place in Dharamsala, India, in March 2000.

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Destructive Emotions: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama + Thoughts Without A Thinker: Psychotherapy from a Buddhist Perspective
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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Destructive Emotions: How Can We Overcome Them? A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama forcefully puts to rest the misconception that the realms of science and spirituality are at odds. In this extraordinary book, Daniel Goleman presents dialogues between the Dalai Lama and a small group of eminent psychologists, neuroscientists, and philosophers that probe the challenging questions: Can the worlds of science and philosophy work together to recognize destructive emotions such as hatred, craving, and delusion? If so, can they transform those feelings for the ultimate improvement of humanity? As the Dalai Lama explains, "With the ever-growing impact of science on our lives, religion and spirituality have a greater role to play in reminding us of our humanity."

The book's subject marks the eighth round in a series of ongoing meetings of the Mind Life Institute. The varied perspectives of science, philosophy, and Eastern and Western thought beautifully illustrate the symbiosis among the views, which are readily accessible despite their complexity. Among the book's many strengths is its organization, which allows readers to enjoy the entire five-day seminar or choose sections that are most relevant to their interests, such as "Cultivating Emotional Balance," "The Neuroscience of Emotion," "Encouraging Compassion," or "The Scientific Study of Consciousness." But the real joy is in gaining an insider's view of these extraordinary minds at work, especially that of the Dalai Lama, whose curiosity, Socratic questioning, and humor ultimately serve as the linchpin for the book's soaring intellectual discussion. --Silvana Tropea --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Publishers Weekly

In May 2001, in a laboratory at the University of Wisconsin, a Tibetan Buddhist monk donned a cap studded with hundreds of sensors that were connected to a state-of-the-art EEG, a brain-scanning device capable of recording changes in his brain with speed and precision. When the monk began meditating in a way that was designed to generate compassion, the sensors registered a dramatic shift to a state of great joy. "The very act of concern for others' well-being, it seems, creates a greater state of well-being within oneself," writes bestselling author Goleman (Emotional Intelligence) in his extraordinary new work. Goleman offers this breakthrough as an appetizer to a feast. Readers will discover that it is just one of a myriad of creative and positive results that are continuing to flow from the Mind and Life dialogue that took place over five days in March 2000 between a group of leading Western scientists and philosophers and the Dalai Lama in his private quarters in Dharamsala, India. This eighth Mind and Life meeting is the seventh to be recorded in book form; Goleman's account is the most detailed and user-friendly to date. The timely theme of the dialogue was suggested by the Dalai Lama to Goleman, who took on the role of organizer and brought together some world-class researchers and thinkers, including psychologist Paul Ekman, philosopher Owen Flanagan, the late Francisco Varela and Buddhist photographer Matthieu Riccard. In a sense, the many extraordinary insights and findings that arise from the presentations and subsequent discussions are embodied by the Dalai Lama himself as he appears here. Far from the cuddly teddy bear the popular media sometimes makes him out to be, he emerges as a brilliant and exacting interrogator, a natural scientist, as well as a leader committed to finding a practical means to help society. Yet he also personally embodies the possibility of overcoming destructive emotions, of becoming resilient, compassionate and happy no matter what life brings. Covering the nature of destructive emotions, the neuroscience of emotion, the scientific study of consciousness and more, this essential volume offers a fascinating account of what can emerge when two profound systems for studying the mind and emotions, Western science and Buddhism, join forces. Goleman travels beyond the edge of the known, and the report he sends back is encouraging.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 448 pages
  • Publisher: Bantam (March 30, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0553381059
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553381054
  • Product Dimensions: 1 x 6 x 9.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #32,527 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

DANIEL GOLEMAN is the author of the international bestsellers Emotional Intelligence, Working with Emotional Intelligence, and Social Intelligence, and the co-author of the acclaimed business bestseller Primal Leadership. He was a science reporter for the New York Times, was twice nominated for the Pulitzer Prize, and received the American Psychological Association's Lifetime Achievement Award for his media writing. He lives in the Berkshires.

Customer Reviews

Great analysis of emotions from the buddhist and western scientific perspective. Elizabeth Loesch  |  6 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
37 of 39 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Science of Being Happy February 6, 2003
Format:Hardcover
This book is a remarkable culmination of what the Dalai Lama and Dan Goleman have long sought: That is, a genuine meeting of East and West. This is a chronicle of the most recent scene in the unfolding drama between great yogic, "inner" scientists and western-trained scientific counterparts. The dance between the two sides began of course some time ago, but now it's getting really interesting. They've learned to tango so well it's getting hard to tell the dancers apart! Each side now speaks the other's language, and has mastered the other's methodology to an astonishing degree. Westerners meditate with the best of the yogis and speak Tibetan, a mind like that of the Dalai Lama, who figured out that the world must be round, even though his teachers said it was flat - all are willing to challenge their own assumptions, share their findings, yet not neglecting the contributions of Plato, or Aristotle, Kant, Einstein, William James, and earlier pioneers. The focus here is in examining those emotions that cause us so much trouble as individuals, and which collectively lead us to even greater madness, or war. The dialogue works because each participant, an "expert" in his or her field - is more concerned with finding the common truth - which frees us, rather than be proven "right". This is very good news.

Goleman reports on a five-day conference which we find is actually the fruition of the life-works of those taking part. In some ways the book has it over being there, as the narration sketches in how individuals in their own lives were motivated to make the often quite amazing leaps to get to where they got. It's not important that no final conclusions are reached as to the causes of the emotions which make us run amok or that full understanding of them eludes as yet. It's important that we are looking, finally, together, and with the best and most sophisticated equipment - also well explained in the book. I felt, in reading this, a lot of my hopes and assumptions and efforts to get to the place of truth and real happiness were not so far off track. The findings here give me great confidence. It's becoming ok, even scientifically, to be happy, even though we see more work ahead of us. And why shouldn't science be both fun and useful?

For me, the high water mark in human understanding, reported here, reflects the great yearning we feel to get to the bottom of our difficulties. Few among us will become experts in mapping the circuitry of the brain, nor do we all need to have our heads examined by f MRI. Yet we can all benefit from this work. It affords us a better glimpse of what might be possible - not just for the Dalai Lama and the "high-achievers" among us, but for the "ordinary" as well (like myself). It's clearly not too late to learn, and to learn HOW to learn. Our brains are not at all what I was taught to believe. I've been looking for some time in my own way, and I suspect you have too to be reading this. I've taken some 'wild goose chases' to find the answers, but hasn't everyone? I got very happy reading this book, I got it that the people in it were very happy sharing their work and mapping out the way to even greater future discoveries. I gave this book five stars but please keep an open mind and cultivate the real spirit of investigation. You may surprise yourself.

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53 of 59 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Wonderful, Bold, Innovative Book February 5, 2003
Format:Hardcover
I have been practicing meditation for over thirty years and teaching for twenty eight years. My experience has made me much more familiar with the art of meditation than with the science of it. I found this book to be an extraordinary contribution, helping elucidate the tremendous importance of ancient meditative tools to modern life.
In a world where fear and grasping and anger and a sense of isolation from others seems to be predominating,this book, starting right with the title, Destructive Emotions, moved me, interested me, and made me think.
Having been at a similar conference with the Dalai Lama some years ago,I know how hard it is to capture the magic of this kind of encounter: the amazing openness of the Dalai Lama's mind; the pioneering sense of adventure on the part of scientists and educators as they explore meditation in the labs and translate its essence for a far-reaching audience; the depth of compassion that underlies this dialogue from all sides. I think Daniel has done a remarkable job. Because of the effort that has gone into it, I think this book could be of value whether you have meditated for decades or have not yet begun.
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19 of 19 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars East Meets West and Both Win May 14, 2003
Format:Hardcover
This book is a sort of "narrative transcript" of a recent conference that took place in Dharamsala, the Dalai Lama's home in exile. The conference takes the form of a series of presentations and dialogues between the Dalai Lama and some of the top Western researchers in the science of the mind. The writer, a participant in the conference, acts primarily as an editor of the material, presenting the "transcripts" in a prose style and interspersing them with biographical sketches of the key players. The approach is simple, but it works very nicely. The book will give you some insight into how Buddhism views emotions and how modern science studies them. Whether your approach to the nature of mind is "left-brained" or "right-brained", this book has a lot to offer. It is a fascinating primer on the latest science of the mind. As well, it is an excellent discourse on how the East-West dialogue, which has been a hallmark of the Dalai Lama's work for years, can impact education, social programs and our ability to get hold of our own destructive emotions. I am a lifelong armchair scientist, as well as an avid reader of religious history and philosophy. I always appreciate a well-presented book that seeks to harmonize these different approaches to understanding reality. Definitely recommended.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Buddhism explained in scientific terms
Years ago, thinking the Dalai Lama doesn't lead a normal life in the midst of a chaotic society, I did not study his teaching until I had a chance to read this book. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Trang Nguyen
5.0 out of 5 stars Communication and Understanding Emotions at its Best
If only everyone read this and practiced understanding our own as well as others' emotions. This effort to understanding and controlling emotions is so what we need --everywhere!
Published 3 months ago by D.Ciardi
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!
I have only read a few pages of this book so far because I ordered three books and even before I bought them I'd decided to read Emotional Intelligence first. More later!
Published 3 months ago by Juan Gaspar Hernandez
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent
You don't need to be a candidate for Anger Management class to benefit from this book.

We ALL suffer from lapses in anger management and this book gives tons of tips for... Read more
Published 10 months ago by Kathryn C. Hogan
5.0 out of 5 stars Wife loves this book
My wife wanted this book. She had checked it out from the library 3 times. Now she has her own copy.
Published 11 months ago by Blainem
5.0 out of 5 stars Emotions and what they do
I love this book. The dialog between the Dalai Lama and Daniel Goleman is insightfull as to the human emotions that we have impact ourselves and our bodies. Read more
Published on March 15, 2009 by Scott S, Bell
4.0 out of 5 stars Desire, hatred, confusion, pride and jealousy- a debate on how to...
The week-long discussion between the Dalai Lama and
a panel of scientists about human behaviour is both
entertaining and informative. Read more
Published on January 3, 2009 by Simon Laub
5.0 out of 5 stars compassion heals
This is a very clearly written summary of a remarkable conference explaining Western and Eastern (Buddhist) understandings of destructive emotions. Read more
Published on July 26, 2007 by Scott W. Beckett
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting interdisciplinary discussion on negative emotions
An interesting cross disciplinary discussion of afflictive emotions and "negative mental states" between buddhists and scientists. Read more
Published on April 15, 2007 by dimitri tsamados
4.0 out of 5 stars Destructive Emotions
I thought this book might be more of a "how-to overcome" or "prevent" destructive emotions so I found the presentation to be a little disappointing. Read more
Published on June 8, 2006 by smartnurse123
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