Customer Reviews

Detachment: The Art of Letting Go While Living With an Alcoholic

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

This is absolutely the best booklet on detaching with love--a very difficult concept for caretakers and those people living with addicted people!

This little booklet is intense -- every time I read through it, new statements jump out at me. It is not filled with a lot of deadwood or explanations or stories or examples. Each sentence packs its own wallop, one after another, and I find it useful to read frequently. I agree that the stages do not appear to be in any particular progression, just divisions by general concept. I also read Marriage on the Rocks and this says a lot of the same things in condensed form. Recommended.

First, this is not a paperback book, but a 5 x 7 Hazelden "booklet" or pamphlet. Writings on this topic seem to be scarce: I could not find a book devoted to the subject. The author offers good advice organized in seven stages, although I could not recognize the reason for them. I could not see that the stages contained any hierarchy of development, or any transformation from simple to complex. In spite of this distraction, I feel that the author's advice is helpful and illuminating.

Very helpful. But be aware this is pamphlet, not a paperback. The information is useful, but I almost tossed the material out. It was floating around in the box and I thought it was one of the advertisments. Just make sure to look for a paper pamphlet. Helpful stuff though.

This appeared to be a paperback, but what I got was a 27-page pamphlet that I could have gotten for free from any Alanon meeting. I feel fully cheated that I did not get the product as described and that I paid $3.99 for shipping for something that would have cost less than 2 stamps to ship!

I got this little book and it was much better than it was said in the description, it was new and in perfect condition, got on time!

What I received was not what I ordered. It was not "red" and not a paperback book...it was a booklet. If I had known this I would not have paid $3.25 + shipping for a booklet.

I was dissapointed when I received this item. I thought it was being sold as a 'book' when actually it is only a pamphlet. A bit pricey for a pamphlet.

The idea of sticking with a person who is hurting you is a big problem. the authors call it detaching with love.

In my case, my former spouse had mental health issues from her family of origin, and was angry all the time. She had gotten counseling for ten years but she needed more therapy than she was getting at the time. She was a "Borderline" and was unable to separate the idea of detahcmnet, from her rages. Ouch. I was a convenient target of her anger since I was her spouse. I was not an alcoholic then; nor am I now.

Her "friends" told her to use this technique on me - I was not the legitimate target, but she was gullible. For all intents and purposes, this was misusing the technique and if a psychiatrist had advised her to do it, it would have been malpractice. detaching with love turned into detaching with hate. the effect of raging behavior on a spouse, is to shatter that person's self esteem and ability to cope with life.

If things ar ethat bad, why stay? there is no reason to stick around. If you are considering doing this to a person, just leave first, no matter what the cost. It will work out, and you may be able to keep the target as a friend someday, instead of driving them away like a wild dog. The inapprorpiate use of this technique nearly drove me to suicide. I am better now, but only after making my escape and establishing No Contact for several years.

detaching is a way to EXTINGUISH love.

that's my two cents.....