Customer Reviews

Diana in Search of Herself: Portrait of a Troubled Princess

5 star:		(44)
4 star:		(27)
3 star:		(12)
2 star:		(10)
1 star:		(44)

 

 

The world loves a princess, particularly if that princess is tall, blond, and beautiful, with a shy smile and sweet public manners. Nearly three years after her untimely death, opinions are still sharply divided on Princess Diana, and "Diana In Search Of Herself" will undoubtedly divide them even more. Sally Bedell Smith provides arguably the most balanced view of a woman who seems to have been very unbalanced. Mercurial at best, borderline psychotic at worst, Diana whirled through her superstardom like a child unable to choose which toy to play with next. Smith admirably documents Diana's love/hate affair with the media, the manipulations of her children, particularly Prince William, and her desperate search for the peace she herself seems to have pushed away with both hands. If there was ever a human being who personified the old cliche, "Be careful what you wish for," it was Diana. Diana worshippers loathe this book--their goddess could never have feet of clay--but for the rest of us, it is ultimately a sobering portrait of a woman whose beauty and wealth could not save her from herself.

I have been a Diana-adorer since she first came to prominence when I was a young girl. In fact, I have a photograph of myself as a 15-year old in my bedroom, and behold, on the wall behind me is a photograph of the young Diana Spencer walking down a London street -- still my favorite image of her. Since discovering ebay I have been gleefully adding to my collection of Diana-paraphernalia.

So I was excited to see this book come out. Finally! I thought. A REAL biography, not some piece of tabloid tripe written by some guy who was home sick on the day they taught *journalism* in journalism school. And as a person who has read numerous books and articles on Diana, watched umpteen television specials on video, and has all the facts of the case memorized, I was certainly prepared to throw this one on the trash heap if it was not as informative and well-researched as I expected.

Well, folks, be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it. This book is extremely well written. It is extensively researched. It has 30+ pages of notes and citations at the end, appendiced for anyone to reference. The author has read just about every paparazzi article on the Princess and compared them on a timeline of actual events in the Princess' life, interviewed dozens upon dozens of people, most of whom are actually named (and in fact specifies that 68 are not named), and has laid bare every iota of this woman's existence.

Unfortunately, it will be the last Diana book I ever buy or read. What is the point? By the time I had finished this incredibly detailed book, I simply looked around at my shrine to the mystery of Diana and threw up my hands.

My idol was vain, selfish, paranoid, unreasonable and insane. Covered over with a thin veneer of charm and good looks. The author of this book may be wrong. But as a writer and researcher myself, i can tell she definitely did her homework. She has constructed a premise and argued for it, and I am convinced by the evidence.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go write a letter of apology to the Prince of Wales for all the mean things I believed and said about him.

I have just finished "Diana In Search of Herself" and suspect Sally Bedell Smith will catch all sorts of hell for it. I also think the story is largely true and this made it sadder still. I am a huge fan of Diana but always suspected her amazing face hid a lot of misery. Smith's work is thorough and delivered with great effect and authority. I don't think I seriouly considered how much pain there could have been - one gets side tracked by the beauty, the clothes and all the other trappings of her life. When she died, I did realize her walk down the aisle of St. Paul's in 1981 was the first choreographed step into a hall of mirrors from which she would never escape. This book takes us into that hall and it's not a pleasant place to be. I saw myself at a younger age, repeatedly - grateful that I managed to live past 36 because I didn't get it right until about I was about 42. I think many women will identify even more strongly with Diana after reading this book. Baby boomer women born through the early 60's grew up in confusing times. Learning from Smith's book how deeply her pain, confusion and recognizable symptoms were, I can't imagine she could smile at all let alone on cue. It hurts to realize the avenues of treatment were all but forbidden to her - in fact or in her own fear of retribution. There was a moment - after she died -when people were angry because they felt she had lost her chance at a happy future but this book makes that wishful thinking very unlikely. It is hard to accept but quite believable, that as her nest grew emptier and her choices in men grew worse she would have spun out of control sooner than later. Perhaps that trip through the tunnel was an awful fulfillment of the magic thinking, omens and portents Smith mentions Diana believing. It was a sad and disturbing book - I imagine the author must have felt this as she became more embroiled in it. It has definitely changed some of my perceptions about Diana - although nothing can change how lovely she was for all those years. I am surprised she didn't drink like a fish or throw public fits. The desire for constant approval and attention is exhausting and consuming. There is never enough until one can learn to be alone happily. I can empathize tremendously. Many of us who have gotten better in some way or another can pinpoint what stopped or helped us; I have a strong streak of pragmatism that she lacked. I don't, however, believe Diana would have had a miraculous epiphany and that is sadder still - she couldn't or wouldn't see deeply enough and no one would tell her nor would she have listened if they had. The real pity is that when one friend was honest, she dropped them and there were always others ready to jump into the space they left. I can't say I enjoyed the book - but I don't think it was one meant to be enjoyed - it was well written and hard to put down - and the research was excellent. I think Smith did a hard job well and I think anyone who admired or loved the Princess of Wales at all should read it. Die hard Diana protectors and fans will surely hurl bricks at the author for what they may see as the maligning of their Princess. I don't think this part of the truth diminishes her at all. I think enough people - the media in particular and her friends and family, grew rich and smug on her misery to be called more than just enablers - the book names names and we all come away knowing that she was encouraged in her behavior by anyone who wanted a photo, a story or a little of the glow that spilled onto them from her presence. She may have been her own worst enemy but no one who claimed to care for her did much to change this. Shame on them. More than anything, I wish none of it were true. I know otherwise though because I have been there with many of my generation. It isn't pretty no matter how pretty you are. What is even less pretty is that rarely are borderlines or near borderlines fortunate enough to fall off the edge to safety - I was very lucky. I am so sorry she wasn't. I urge people to read this insightful book about this misunderstood and lonely Princess and I hope they will see past what they may feel are perceived slights to Diana. What they will realize is that she was more like many of us than we ever imagined. It is a shame no one was able to really touch her and guide her back to a safe, happy place where she could enjoy herself as much as we all enjoyed her. I recommend "Diana, In Search of Herself" highly - for the important truths we need to know to better understand both the life and death of Diana, Princess of Wales.

This is perhaps the only serious piece of writing on the late Princess of Wales that I have read. While not presented as a scholarly biography (we'll need to wait years for that), the book does take several steps back from the hysteria and romanticized adulation attending Diana's years on earth and attempts to provide objective analysis rather than breathless, tabloid-style speculation. Diana fans for whom she could do no wrong may be outraged by Bedell Smith's detailed portrait and her conclusions; this is a book only for thoughtful readers who are willing to set aside their preconceptions of the subject.

Although Bedell Smith is by no means the first person to suggest that Diana was suffering from a clinically-defined mental illness, Borderline Personality Disorder (called by some "Emotion Dysregulation Disorder"), her discussion of the subject helps shed some light both on her subject's behavior and the fate of her disastrous marriage. This is interesting material, and the author was brave to include it, given the manner in which Diana continues to be idolized by her admirers.

Reasonably well-written and readable, meticulously-researched and documented. Especially recommended to those who take a jaundiced view of the modern cult of celebrity.

I thought this book was fascinating, well-written, and very solidly researched. I am perplexed by the negative review below posted by Simone Simmons, Diana's "energy healer." While as a employee/friend of Diana she is certainly entitled to her literary opinions, her insinuations of fraud on the part of this biographer seem to me rather more serious. After reading the startling Simmons review, I actually got out Bedell Smith's book and cross-referenced every mention of Simmons. Contrary to Simmons's accusations, Bedell Smith does NOT claim to have interviewed everyone and NEVER claims to have interviewed Simmons. In fact, EVERY time Simmons's name appears Bedell Smith uses quotation marks around Simmons's material, notes that the information came from Simmons's book, and specifies the page. This is standard journalistic and biographical practice. I'm not quite sure what more Ms. Simmons could want... except, perhaps, a different conclusion to the unhappy story of Diana. We all wish for that, of course. Unfortunately, smearing this author's careful work won't make it happen.Read this book if you want a realistic look at the charming, contradictory, beautiful, funny, impossible, vulnerable, and sadly overwhelmed person we loved to watch grow up on the world's stage.

I find the numerous reviews by outraged readers listed below rather sad. It was well known in numerous circles here in the UK that Diana was at best unstable, but clearly the full extent of her precarious mental state was not widely known. I found this biogrpahy refreshing, as Bedell Smith says in her introduction, most accounts of Diana's life to date are either character assassinations or hagiographies - this is neither. I am convinced that the author meticulously researched this work.

Diana was clearly a thoroughly unpleasant person who spent much of her adult life confused, unhappy, habitually lying and living in some sort of fantasy world. She was also an unbelievable hypocrite and did anything possible to try and tarnish Charles' image and discredit him. So much for being a wonderful mother if she was prepared for her sons to be subjected to her numerous attacks on their father. Also for someone who was supposedly such a devoted mother, I find it incredible that she missed Willaim's first birthday, over burdened him in a most inappropriate way with all her emotional baggage, tried to use them to annoy Charles as well as trying to pass herself off as the only parent who really loved them. Dreadful woman, this is unforgiveable, not to mention the harm she could have inflicted on them whilst pregnant with her bulimia & pathetic suicide attempts. I suspect the only reason she really loved her sons was because they were the only people she was able to sustain any sort of relationship with. Everyone else she managed to drive away or fell out with.

It is also well known that one of the steps towards recovery with any type of disorder/addiction is to accept responsibility for one's own actions, something Diana was never prepared to do - she loved to portray herself as the victim and blame everyone else for her misfortunes.

I think it's time we got real and stopped all this misplaced reverence of the woman. Other members of the royal family (and don't get me wrong, I am a republican) have done far more charity work than she ever did - the only appeal Diana had were her photogenetic looks and tactile approach. And let's face it the only reason she adopted many of her charities was in her competitive struggle with Charles for media supremacy & public approval. Having read this book I am no longer surprised at the royals' antipathy towards her. She hoisted herself with her own petards with the Morton book and her Panorama interview. Agreed that her Panorama interview was in retaliation to Charles' earlier one, despite his admission of infidelity he never once spoke against Diana.

I feel sorry for Charles and always have done. Never once has he come out publicly & bemoaned the fact he was married to a complete loon who spent much of her time with her head down the loo or in floods of tears, he has remained steadfastly silent on the subject. I also feel that Camilla has received a lot of bad press - considering dear old Saint Diana had numerous affairs with married men whilst married herself, pursued them relentlessly & even stalked one. I also always believed that things must have been really horrendous for Charles to wish to separate, as it's well known that in royal & aristocratic circles, marriages are more often than not of convenience & it is accepted for one or both parties to have clandestine affairs. Despite all the talk of Diana being an ordinary girl etc, she was a member of the British aristocracy whose family had close links with the Windsors - for her to have married in the royal family and not had any idea what she was letting herself in for is unbelievably stupid & naive - but then we're talking about a woman who spent all her life in denial.

Bedell Smith has done an excellent job.

This book is gripping reading. Finally, a scrupulous, careful look at a woman who captured and held our collective imagination for almost two decades. Bedell Smith has done a tremendous job of researching, synthesizing her information, and writing. I don't imagine this biography will be topped any time soon.Yes, the book is sad in its conclusions. However, readers who denounce it as a "hatchet job" have, to my mind, clearly never read true examples of the genre (vide: Kitty Kelley's Nancy Reagan biography, or any other of the "'Good morning,' she snarled," school of celebrity-scavenging trash). Bedell Smith is careful, balanced, sympathetic, yet truthful: everything one could hope for in a biographer. She does not "take sides," as accused, but writes about all the participants with a mixture of empathy and cool judiciousness. (Readers who believe she "favors" Charles obviously missed the pages in which Bedell Smith notes his insecurity, obliviousness, ineffectuality, rigidity, neediness, and generally well-meaning, Charlie Brown capacity for trying and failing to do the right thing.) The portrait of Diana is fascinating, unhappy, and, I believe, fair.It should be noted that Bedell Smith never says, much less repeatedly, as some readers complain, that Diana was stupid. (In fact, Bedell Smith works hard to explain away Diana's celebrated failure of all her "O levels.") However, she does say, and is echoed by many, many of her interviews, that Diana was not highly educated or intellectually disciplined. These traits are not character faults nor does Bedell Smith present them as such. She merely reports them. Unfortunately, there are many genuine faults of character also reported. These, however, are addressed with restraint and compassion -- and perhaps, ultimately, a sense of exhaustion. Diana in life was clearly difficult to live with. I imagine she was for her biographer, as well, during the writing of this book. The fact that this biography is so balanced and, in the final analysis, sympathetic to its subject is a testament to its author.

First of all, this book is mostly a compilation of quotes from other books and newspaper articles. How lazy! Also, author Sally Bedell Smith is pro Charles in a big way, making me think she had her conclusion in mind before she wrote one word of this book. An example: On page 312, Smith writes, "Beyond what they witnessed, William and Harry also had to cope with the searing Morton and Panorama revelations about their mother's disturbing behavior." However, she makes no mention of Prince Charles' equally disturbing and high-profile TV interview in which he admitted to an affair with Camilla and revealed that he never loved Diana. Hearing your father tell the world that he never loved your mother -- that must have been terribly devastating to William and Harry. That's not something Diana ever did -- she always admitted she loved Charles and wanted to keep the family together. After reading page 312, though, I realized Smith didn't really care about telling an OBJECTIVE story. Smith should have told the WHOLE truth, not just the parts that support her premise! Don't buy this book, you're supporting a mean-spirited author's attack on a princess who can't fight back.

Whether or not Princess Diana actually suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder as the book claims, "Diana in Search of Herself" will strongly influence the public's image of the disorder for some time to come. Until now, Borderline Personality Disorder has received little media attention despite its millions of sufferers.

As a psychiatrist and author of "Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder," I realize that how BPD is portrayed in a high profile biography can make the difference between hope and encouragement or stigmatization and despair. A sufficiently sympathetic picture could lead people afflicted with BPD to seek treatment.

Overall, the book presented a fairly accurate picture of BPD. It suffered somewhat in the details, however, as the author shaped her description of the disorder to make her case for its fit with Diana's life. Rather than emphasize the severe trauma that so frequently occurs in the childhood histories of people with BPD, for example, she stated that "the most important factor" distinguishing borderline personality disorder from other disorders was "early parental loss." While this may describe Diana, it is by no means specific to people with BPD.

The author portrays an illness that can be managed with treatment, but has little chance of cure. This does little justice to the potential resilience of borderline patients or to the power of treatment to bring fundamental changes in the way patients experience themselves and the world. Over the past decade, there have been significant innovations both in the psychotherapy of BPD and in the medications available to make the journey to healing bearable. While most borderline stories are not about fairy tale princesses, many can have happier endings.

Before reading this book, I was mostly a "pro-Diana" person. Certainly, it was apparent that she had problems-bulimia, moodiness,affairs-but Charles completely to blame, right? It seemed that Diana was fine until she was undermined by Charles and the supposedly horrible royal family.

But I have to say that this account has forced my to remove Diana from the altar I'd placed her on. Usually, a biography that was so ruthlessly slanted would not sway me so much, yet I see no reason why Bedell Smith would have written something so damaging to Diana's image if it were not true. She's not well-connected to Charles or the royal family...and she's American. But more than this lack of bias, Bedell Smith's conclusions are based on plain-old, cold-hard facts. She extensively quotes newspapers, books, Diana's own words, and a varied group of people (both friends and others) who knew Diana to prove her thesis about Diana's personality disorder.

This book is so disturbing and so saddening because it challenges what most of us Diana fans have always thought. According to Smith, Diana was paranoid, selfish, popularity-starved, immature, possessive, and not even that stellar of a charity patron. Smith chronicles Diana's bizarre behavior with lovers, her shoddy treatment of friends, her refusal to obtain necessary psychological help, her immature "games" with newspaper editors, and the way she handled charity patronage toward the end of her life. Unfortunately, by the time you have finished the book, Smith's impeccable, thorough analysis will leave you hard pressed to argue that Diana WAS stable.

Some might say that some of these incidents could have been unfairly recounted by the author. But a vast majority of the unpleasant portrayals contain black and white facts that cannot be twisted or "fudged." Really, how can one deny a police report of Diana's 300-plus calls (over a period of weeks) to her married lover? And what about her tearful pleas for a private life following her separation from Charles...and then her meetings with newspaper editors so that she could gain control over what they wrote?

Admittedly, Smith was a bit too easy on Charles. She seemed to imply that yes, Charles was having an affair, but that Diana would have been an unstable wreck even if he wasn't seeing Camilla. She also (in perhaps the only flagrantly questionable statement in the book), hinted that after her marriage, rather than harrassing her husband about whether or not he was having an affair, Diana should have used her youthful charms and beauty to win over Charles. How does that make any sense?

In conclusion, this book is very hard on Diana. And ultimately, who is to know that total truth about Diana? Who is to know if she really was a kind and admirable human being under it all, or if the irrational wreck often portrayed by Smith was all there was? But certainly, "Diana: In Search of Herself" is a valuable book that serves to intelligently question the often-blind assumption of Diana's "sainthood."