From Diapers to Dating : A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children, from Infancy to Adolescence. [Hardcover]

Debra W. Haffner (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1999

A leading sexuality educator's warm, practical, step-by-step program for helping parents provide accurate information and communicate their own values to their children. Millions of Americans know Debra Haffner from her appearances on Dateline, Good Morning America, 20/20, and other network shows. Whether she is discussing how to help kids deal with the onslaught of sexual messages they see in the media or providing sensible guidance on teaching the facts of life, parents are comforted by Haffner's values-oriented approach to raising sexually healthy children. Her new book offers a wealth of practical techniques to help parents identify and communicate their own values about sexuality to their children. Organized from infancy through adolescence, each chapter includes:

Values Exercises: Questions to help parents sort out their own values about sexuality and decide what they want to teach their children.

What to Expect and How to Prepare: Lively discussions on each stage of a child's life, filled with relevant information, sparkling anecdotes, and sample conversations.

Teachable Moments: How to find and use opportunities throughout a child's life to bring up specific issues of sexuality instead of waiting to have that "big talk." Excerpted from the foreword by the author's 13-year-old daughter: "It hasn't always been easy having a mother who is a sexuality educator. Sometimes, it's hard to tell my new friends, their parents, and even my teachers, what she does for a living. But all in all, the positives outweigh the negatives. . . .Here's some of what's been good: I always can come to my mother with any question or problem. . . . She's great for science projects and homework. . . . I know that as I get older, my mom will be there for me and my friends."

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

An excellent guide covering children's and teens' sexuality issues. Haffner (president, Sexuality, Information and Education Council of the United States) has been in the forefront of sexuality education for over a decade. Here, she travels through the stages of a child's life, outlining sexual development, needs, issues, and problems. All people are sexual, she states, even preschoolers, and all approaches to understanding sexuality are based on some kind of value system; parents must understand their own values in order to be clear and consistent with their kids. Haffner's message is practical and frank, both forward-looking and nonpermissive. She encourages parents to seize opportunities for conversations about sex in small moments, from the time the kids are preschoolers, and discourages reliance on The Big Talk, which often comes too late. Middle-schoolers, she argues, should not "date"; the TV does not belong in a child's bedroom; abstinence is the rule for any pre-teen; and parents must know the benefits and risks of the net. A bibliography of books, videos, and association hotlines is included. Essential for all public libraries.ALinda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PA
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews

Much needed help for floundering parentsa clear-eyed assist with deciding what sexual values to impart to children, and then advice on coupling those values with accurate, age-appropriate information. Haffner, a long-time sex educator and president of the Sexualtiy Information and Education Council of the US (SIECUS), has a 13-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son, so her advice is above all reality-based. She has a good handle on the practical basics of having a sexually healthy family: first and foremost, parents must be clear on their own values (discussion questions and questionaires here help readers work this out), and the lines of communication between parents and children must be kept wide open (yes, it's a lot of work, and again, there is practical help offered here). Haffner goes on to address the ever-shifting issues by age group birth to 2 years, 2-to-5-year-old preschoolers, ages 5-to-8 and then 9-to-12-year-olds. There is a lot to think about here, and Haffner pulls no punches: ``I do not believe that children can protect themselves from sexual abuse,'' she says. Prevention programs such as ``Good touch, bad touch,'' and ``No, Go, Tell'' ``are based on the assumption that the child has the social or physical power to stop an adult pedophile's actions, something that is unlikely to be true.'' Realistic, practical, and informativethe best kind of guide for being a better parent. -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 228 pages
• Publisher: Newmarket Press; 1st edition (May 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 155704385X
• ISBN-13: 978-1557043856
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,715,253 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Should be in every parents' bookshelf before baby arrives, July 17, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: From Diapers to Dating : A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children, from Infancy to Adolescence. (Hardcover)

This is really a wonderful book - I wish my wife and I had had it when our children were younger. Haffner speaks as a parent of two children herself, with a professional background of a sexuality educator. Her advice is practical and specific and she has a warm and helpful "voice" in addressing parents - she admits her own mistakes and then tells you how she (or her husband) recovered from those mistakes.

She is a strong advocate of honesty and frankness about sexuality. She is clear that sexuality is intimately tied with values and challenges parents to be clear about their own values and communicate them to their children. She gives her opinion on matters that stump many parents (such as how to discuss masturbation, for example) but says that if your family's values are different from those that Haffner expresses, tell your children what you believe (but don't try to scare your child with incorrect or scientifically incorrect information).

This book should be in the baby basket for every new parent - Haffner makes it clear that sexuality education and discussions start from the very first. And she goes right through to those scary moments when your son or daughter is out on a date and you are wondering, "What's happening and what should I say or do?"

It's an outstanding reference, well written and lively.

20 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A practical & entertaining guide for all parents, August 19, 1999

By 

clarber (Brooklyn, New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: From Diapers to Dating : A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children, from Infancy to Adolescence. (Hardcover)

In an engaging and entertaining fashion, the author addresses all the complex aspects of guiding your child's sexual education and development. With practical experience and professional expertise, she faces the tough situations of everyday parenting and provides useful advice for those anticipating how they will discuss sexuality with their children. Whether we like it or not, all children have questions about sexuality...This book prepares parents to answer those questions honestly AND in ways that will help children grow into healthy adults. This is a terrific resource and would make a perfect gift for parents of young children.

21 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Here's the BUZZ: forget stories about the birds and bees!, July 26, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: From Diapers to Dating : A Parent's Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children, from Infancy to Adolescence. (Hardcover)

If you've ever wondered how to deal with telling your kids about everything from the parts of their own body at age 2 to practicing safe sex as a teen ager, Diapers to Dating is the source to turn to. And forget the old, too embarrassing big talk about the birds and the bees, Author Debra Haffner takes us through a logical, caring approach that teaches us "everything your child wants to know about sex but is definately afraid, or too embarrassed to ask". What Doctor Spock did for children's health, Haffner does for children's healthy sexuality. This is a must-read for parents and just about anybody who wants to be a better part of our children's lives.