Customer Reviews

Diary of a Fat Housewife: A True Story of Humor, Heart-Break, and Hope

5 star:		(20)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(18)

 

 

I read this book years ago and I couldn't put it down. I was beside myself reading about someone who was going through the same nightmare I had been dealing with for so long! All those times when I thought I was going crazy! Those times when I felt so alone! Suddenly, here she is, a woman who had the courage I would've never have, to speak so honestly and openly about weight issues. God bless her! She's been key in my success story! (After many years I did manage to lose 50 lbs.)

Like another reader mentioned, some people just miss the point. I also feel that some other people just "can't take her honesty". It's not easy to admit that one is actually out of control. Rosemary's personality shows here an intense and very dynamic approach. She talks about what she does and believes, she never claims to have any degree on nutrition or pretends to be someone she's not. That's the best part for me, she's so real!

This book is not about solutions of "how to" lose weight. It was and it still is many times for me, an incredible source of inspiration to continue the fight. When reading her book I used to think, "well, if she can go through all this and still not give up, then I'll keep trying to!." Even though I never met her in person, she'll always be one of my very best friends in the journey of this never ending struggle. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Rosemary!

This book caught my eye, because I enjoy reading diary formatted books -- and it is very light reading as those types of books go. I've read the hardback version (understand the paperback version has an "update") and thought it was a great book for anyone who knows anyone struggling with a weight problem. I view obesity issues with a lot more compassion, after reading this book. This book is not about "how to lose weight" or even about "weight loss". Rather, it is a book about a woman's very personal struggle to figure out what makes her eat so darn much and reverse that singularly destructive behavior in her life. Some reviewers have gotten pretty personal in criticizing Ms. Green. The fact of the matter is that, whether or not you like Green's life, her values or her mindset, any reader can come to appreciate Green's honest self evaluation and find this book entertaining.

If you can find the paperback edition of this book, I recommend that you read that edition rather than the 1995 hardcover, since it tells how Rosemary ultimately got down to 135 pounds, and NO, she did NOT get her jaws wired shut! While it is true that, while struggling to lose her weight, she used some unhealthy methods (less than 800 calories a day and eating a cup of Froot Loops for breakfast are the ones that stand out), I don't see this as a diet book per se but a personal record of a woman who struggled with weight and, let's face it, her addiction to chocolate, sugary sweets, and fast food. If you read the book carefully, you will find that she REALLY begins to lose weight once she swears off chocolate and sweets forever.

Personally, the first time I read this book, it was difficult - but facinating - to read. Now, I find it inspiring. (Point of reference - I weighed 265 in 1990 and am currently at 148, so I know whereof Rosemary speaks). I did send a letter to her earlier this year at the address for Winning at Thinning, but have yet to receive a reply - I also tried finding any refernece to her on the Net without success. I hope she has been able to maintain her weight loss. Rosie, if you're reading this, please let us know! Thanks.

I got down to my "dream weight" while reading and re-reading this book (50 pounds lost within 4 1/2 months). There aren't many people who can't identify with some of the negative behavior patterns revealed in this inspiring diary. The underlying message is one of hope and self-renewal. Thank you, Rosemary Green, for the book that changed my life.

I have to agree with the reader from Ann Arbor: Green's book is so honest in its depression that readers want to hug her (or kill her--it's interesting that the reviews show both impulses), but so accepting of cultural stereotypes as the bottom line that I wanted to shake her at the same time.

Green's misery is honest, and frightening, but its cause is not, as she seems to think, fat alone (though, of course, the treatment of fat women in a culture which venerates thinness (and maleness) is enough to depress pretty much anyone.) As the reader from Ann Arbor perceptively pointed out, Green seems unaware that her loathing of her flesh--the description of which is some of the most lyrical and passionate prose in the book--might have any historical, cultural, or even economic roots beyond what she considers the inherent loathliness of fat. She speaks of her heavy load of debt, of the six children which she raises and cares for largely on her own, of the constant demands on her time and attention, apparently without any idea that these might have as much to do with her state of mind as her physical weight. She says, in fact, in between her many (and somewhat formulaic) references to her spiritual life, that "weight loss is my only reason for living, being, existing, or doing for the next six months"--suggesting that her job as a primary caregiver for home and children neither pays enough nor offers enough stimulation to give her any real "reason for living." Moreover, in between almost hysterically loving claims that her husband and family support her in every way, she documents their neglect of and disinterest in her struggle; it is difficult, given what she records, not to suspect her husband of deliberate sabotage of her efforts, at whatever level of consciousness. In short, the operative word in the title isn't "fat"; it's "housewife"--a job which can, with luck, grace, education, and support, be satisfying, but which, unfortunately, has at least equal potential to be stultifying, suffocating, lonely, and a cause of despair. For Green, it seems to be the latter; but all the blame goes to the fat, to the physical flesh.

She speaks of the "sins" of fat at the same time that she considers it a "disease" (one for which she won't get serious professional help, though); while claiming, like so many others, that what's she's interested in is good health and the "normal" or "real" self which all the fat has hidden, she documents a state of mind which is, if possible, even more food-obsessed than the state of compulsive eating which she seeks to avoid. "Disease!" she says again and again, and often it's the truth. What she doesn't consider is whether, if her disease were cancer rather than compulsive eating coupled with depression, she would blame herself and her fellow sufferers so vehemently, speak with such passion of how she's buried this once-innocent beauty queen (and there's a goal worthy of a woman's whole life, hmm?) in "each hideous little pound of greasy lard".

It's a book worth reading, but not for the reasons the author seems to think. It's a heartbreaking account of an obsession with flesh, sin, guilt, and shame, very possibly for lack of other occupations. The "moral" I took from it was the reminder that fat is not a moral issue but, if anything, a medical one, and the conviction that when dieting becomes an entire reason for being, we're better off at 200 pounds, 250, 300, whatever. But it's also pointless to yell "get a life" at the unfortunate Mrs. Green, whose economic and cultural circumstances have drastically restricted her opportunity to do so. At this point it's probably screaming in the wind to tell her to overcome the entire force of her upbringing and culture; the only appropriate response seems to be to wish her, and everyone who shares her sufferings, the best that she can have, and to hope, rather futilely, that the best may include something besides thinness, for her and for all of us.

My first impression, upon reading was "You know, this woman just isn't very bright." For me, she came across as whiny, grotesquely self-absorbed, and lacking any kind of sense of "self" beyond what the scale showed. An earlier reviewer noted that the key word in the title was "housewife" rather than "fat", and I agree. I also agree that she lacked any kind of sociocultural insights into the whole issue of body image.

Perhaps she *should* have had more outside interests. Please, don't get me wrong: I believe that being a wife and mother is a noble, difficult and demanding job. But Rosemary, what about your own interests! Couldn't you have found something that was *your* hobby or *your* interest that didn't centre around the family and church?

Instead, she presents a picture in which she is essentially wandering around her unkempt house constantly thinking about dieting. No wonder her weight yo-yoed so much! Eating/not eating occupied her every waking moment, it seemed. That's not healthy for your body or your mind. Her claims that she's too fat to go to a doctor seem very petulant.

I felt terribly sorry for her husband. People who are fixated on one topic are dreary to live with, no matter how much you love them. She whines about him not supporting her enough, but how much love and support did she provide for him?

It's interesting that she was a Rose Bowl princess--yes, she was beautiful when she was young and slim, but then, weren't we all? :) It seems to have been the only thing in her life (other than her marriage and children) that she can look back on as an accomplishment of any note. Of course, she's thrilled when her daughter is chosen as a Junior Princess. Looks are, for her, an indication of merit. She's terribly catty about her friends and relatives and their weight, and competitive about it to boot. Again, if she's thinner than someone (even at, say, 240 lbs) she "wins". This is the attitude that made her so miserable in the first place! I wonder what her friends and relatives thought when they read her book and learned how she *really* felt about her--musta made the next get-together rather tense, and if it didn't, it should have.

Rosemary's own self-hatred is evident in the loathing she feels towards other overweight people. She complains, for instance, about fat people eating junk in public (although she, of course, as done this herself). Appearances are everything to Rosemary--not just weight but the illusion of respectability (the incident with the lingerie package made me dislike her even more; I agree with the other reviewer--what kind of picture do you expect! ). If you look good and can excite the admiration and envy of onlookers, then you've "won", just like when she was a Rose Bowl princess. There's a delusion at work here, and a lot of hypocrisy.

Finally, I hope for her own sake and that of her family that Rosemary has had some counselling and possibly gotten some medication. Thin or fat, she comes across as a sad, pathetic, self-centred ninny who writes execrable poetry. I saw nothing here to admire or emulate.

This is the second time I've read this book - I read it the first time well over a year ago (before I changed my life, stopped eating junk and lost 50+ lbs by eating healthy, whole foods). I don't remember being strongly moved by it, I know I was hopelessly depressed and dreaming of being thin.

This reading though, I almost cried. She struggled with her weight since 1984 and what she documents is so heart breaking, cycles of restriction and purging. She starved herself until her body forced her to eat, she wrecked her metabolism, she caused herself so much pain. Her manic descriptions of being so happy and "in control" when she was dieting, her sad descriptions of 800 calorie "perfect" days, the same 50 lbs she lost and gained, lost and gained. Starving yourself is NOT a matter of being in control or will power! The body is determined to save you from starving, if it feels at risk, it will force you to eat!

I hope no one who reads this book wants to follow Rosemary Green's 800 calorie, "in control" diet plan -
eating less than 1200 calories - doomed to long term failure. Just setting up your body to restrict/binge/restrict/binge.

Your body is an amazingly efficient machine with one goal - to live. Whatever food it gets, it processes according to your environment - this is a GREAT concept, it allowed your early ancestors to survive in terrible situtations (famine etc).

So, what happens when you reduce calories - your body starts to process what it does get more efficiently. It holds on to anything extra in case the situation gets worse. Your body is thinking long term - how can I keep living.

Eventually, weight loss might slow as your body adjusts to living with fewer calories. What happens if caloric intake drops again? The body compensates again, slowing metabolism and basic functions to conserve.

This is a very scary trend for dieters, but a trend ultimately designed to save the life of a starving person. If you're playing Survivor or on a wagon train West in pioneer days or living as a farmer after 3 years without rain - this is the body you want.

I lost a lot of weight at 1400-1600 calories a day, I plateaued after losing 50 lbs. My first instinct was to eat LESS, didn't that make sense? But I could see a future where I maintained at 1400 or even 1200 and that scared me - how could I ever eat "normally" again with a body designed to run efficiently on 1200 calories? If I hit my goal weight, how long could I mantain it once I quit "dieting" and started eating like a typical person?

I decided to take the opposite approach. Several online calculators showed me that someone of my height/weight/gender/age and activity level could eat anywhere from 2100-2400 calories to maintain. I raised my calories to 1800, I was still taking in under my maintenance point, but the body reacted very well to so many additional calories - since it didn't feel in danger, it allowed stored fat reserves to drop and I lost 2 more lbs.

Good luck to anybody else struggling with long term weight loss - never forget, think LONG TERM. It's no use getting to your goal weight if you are only there for one day.

Rosemary Green should be shown sympathy, but should never have been allowed to publish a book full of so many medically unsound, psychologically damaging ideas. The book tells of her trials and tribulations while attempting to lose weight through a self-created, dangerously low-calorie diet. At one point in this book she gives an example of one of her diets - a total of 657 calories a day! No wonder her body continued to rebel from this starvation diet by binging! She also suggests things like taking photos of yourself at your fattest and putting them up around your house so that you are reminded how horrible you are - as if criticism and self-hatred ever lead to change! She continues to repeat the medically-unsubstantiated "fact" that fat people die sooner than thin people, and repeats many times that fat is ugly. Anyone who is stuggling with weight and eating issues should read books like "Overcoming Overeating" by Hirschmann and Munter or something by Geneen Roth, not this trash.

I read this book twice, in horrified fascination. Rosemary Green's diary is a strangely compelling personal narrative which probably does give some insight into the compulsive eating habit of some fat people...but it by no means speaks for all fat people. If represents any group, it represents unhappy people who turn their unhappiness on themselves. Rosemary Green does it by overeating and harshly criticizing herself for being fat, lazy and useless (this while raising 6 children while her husband is often away on business).

Green's self-hate is heartbreaking. She won't go to her children's school because she's afraid other kids will make fun of her (that's a realistic fear, but she isn't making things better for anyone by hiding at home.) She won't ride a bike because she's afraid of showing her big butt. Get over it! I want to scream. She berates herself for her failures at dieting, even though she sets unrealistic goals (as mentioned above) and seems to enjoy little support and endure quite a bit of criticism from her (thin) husband. She calls her book "a love story," but I didn't see much love in it.

Rosemary Green is the last person I would turn to for advice on diet, self-acceptance, or anything else. A former beauty queen who later weighed up to 300 pounds, Ms. Green purports to have found the secret of weight loss and tries to sell her "Winning at Thinning" plan to readers. Her diary portrays her yoyoing up and down the scale over a period of several years, setting highly unrealistic goals (over 5 lbs/week) for weight loss and consuming a dangerously low 800 calories a day at one point along the way. This is winning?

Ms. Green displays little or no insight into our culture's obsession with thinness and no sound medical/scientific insight into proper nutrition or the causes of obesity. (Granted, she is not a health professional, but there are plenty of good books on the subject written for laymen...she does not seem to have read any of them.) She seems to have not the slightest clue that thinness has not been admired in all places at all times. What is particularly galling is her characterization of the fat acceptance movement as "propaganda." She is apparently oblivious to the fact that all the ads for weight loss programs and fat-free food, pictures in fashion magazines, and so on ad nauseam (so to speak) are also propaganda, and more dangerous because they are so pervasive and virtually unquestioned.

Green also displays a strange ambiguity about beauty and sexuality. On the one hand, she condemns "Playboy" and its ilk, and even gets a package of lingerie with an "offensive" photo of a partially-clad woman removed from prominent display at a local department store (how a woman should be clad on a lingerie package is anybody's guess). On the other hand, she obsesses about how to get thin enough so that she feels comfortable displaying her own body and is thrilled when men start giving her admiring looks again.

Whether or not she stays thin (she's now down to 135 lbs), Green would benefit from deeper insights into the cultural roots of our war on obesity, and yes, even some "fat acceptance" propaganda. Read this book as a novel or a psychological case study, but don't expect to get any good advice about healthy eating, exercise, or self-acceptance from it.

I just finished this book this morning, and I googled Rosemary Green to see if she had written anything else or had a website discussing her life after the book was published. I saw the link to Amazon and thought I would read the reviews. I agree with what most others wrote: it was fascinating to read so bluntly truthfull an account of someone's struggle with weight loss/gain and obesity. But I couldn't help feeling simultaneously angry and sad for her - she looked for so many others to help her with this struggle and was angry with them for "letting her down" namely her husband and children. It is not anyone else's responsibility to do this, especially children. I couldn't help thinking how selfish it was of her to do that. I know that severe depression was a struggle for her as well and surely had influence on how she interacted with her family, but how could she put that kind of responsibility on children who have watched her lose, regain, scream at them, lose her temper with them all in relation to food or how she was feeling about her body image at the time? It was really hard to read sometimes how she treated her kids and then tried to justify it with her own needs for support. Beyond that, just as others have listed, I think that she set unrealistic goals for herself with unattainable calorie intake plans. Granted, much of this information may not have been available to her in the 80's, but eating so much less is not the way to go. I know it's easy to criticize someone else's words and perhaps it's not really fair to do so. I just hope that no matter what size she is today, she is happy and eating healthy. Lastly, the one thing that I think could have helped her tremendously with her struggles with weight, depression and marital issues would to have sought counseling, for just her or for the whole family. Sometimes having an outsider's perspective opens a whole new world of understanding and can lead to life-long change for the better. Anyway, this was an interesting read indeed. Hard to put down.