Customer Reviews

Dibs in Search of Self

5 star:		(45)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

What could have caused a 5-year-old child with an IQ of 168 to clam up and stop talking, playing or laughing? Virginia Axline, author of 'Play Therapy' finds out as she records the progress of Dibs in this book that has since become a child therapy classic. A review in Amazon.com held forth that Dibs is autistic, but it is clear to me that he is not. Dibs is a child who deliberately withheld speech and affection as a means of self-defense against his cold, unloving, high- achieving and demanding parents and their battery of tests to prove him gifted. He does not suffer a neurological disorder nor is he autistic.
This remarkably moving and honest book gives credit not to the therapist/author for having worked a miracle, rather, it is the child and his inner strength and resolve that are given praise. The amazingly articulate child acts out his anger through his play of dolls. In a poignant part, Dibs reverses the parent-child role and 'makes' a 'mother' doll build a mountain upon the instruction of the 'boy' doll.
"It is too hard to do," said Dibs. "Nobody can build a mountain. But I'll make her do it. She'll have to build the mountain and do it right. There is a right way and wrong way of doing things and you will do it the right way."
After some thought, he decided he would help the 'mother' and not impose such an onerous task on her. He talks of love and caring for his mother and sister. This shows that Dibs, despite his frustration, fear and anger, has great capacity for compassion, empathy and forgiveness. The therapy sessions with his non-judgmental therapist helped Dibs be aware of his feelings and of matters within and without his control.
Having learned it is all right to be a child and to be himself, Dibs unlocked the doors in his life and introduced himself to the world of other children. The doors of affection, acceptance and understanding that had been closed to him by his rigid, compulsive, scientist parents were opened after Dibs realized he need not fear the censure of his therapist and when his parents, after his mother's two surreptitious meetings with the therapist, decide to open up too and allow their children to grow and learn naturally without pressure and constant criticism. Dibs proved himself a real hero when he identified himself with a grownup doll and declared himself 'big, strong and not afraid any more'. He went on to be a
sociable, intelligent child with a keen love for nature and other people. The author recalls with pleasure how Dibs, at age 15, wrote a letter to his school newspaper to protest the dismissal of his classmate. He wrote with conviction and a strong sense of justice. The letter was signed: 'With sincerity and intent to act, I am, sincerely yours, Dibs.' Such is the integrity and leadership qualities of an admirable child who at one point was labeled mentally retarded. I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in the emotional development of children.

...of an inaccurate perspective. In terms of writing quality and emotional "pull," this book deserves 5 stars. And, like Freud, it is important to read -- in the correct context. Axline was a pioneer of play therapy (for individuals and groups), and I think there is no doubt that it is a fruitful method for interacting with troubled children. In my practice as a psychologist, I have certainly found play therapy to be extremely productive because a) it is the natural "language" of children, and b) it is also one of the most important ways children learn.

So...yes, I believe Dibs (as presented by Axline -- we do have to rely on her description) closely fits the criteria for Asperger's Syndrome, a syndrome on the autistic spectrum where very bright children capable of complex thinking may be quite impaired in basic social, motor and communication skills. And I do believe her therapy with him was very helpful because she provided a model for social interaction, one-on-one (group situations were probably too overwhelming) that allowed him to increase his positive interactions with others (which, in turn, increased their positive response to him).

I sympathize with reviewers who are outraged at the use of "refrigerator mother" theory in the book -- and with the reviewers who experienced the pain of unloving or abusive parents. No, an unloving or uninvolved parent cannot "cause" autism. However, it is also true that no autistic child was ever helped by a lack of love or being locked away from others. What both Axline and many reviewers have not taken into account, though, is the degree to which love between parent and child is developed interactively: Dibs mother blames herself because he was an unwanted child (and Axline agrees with this assessment), but it is clear that people unprepared and unwilling to be parents would need an outgoing, engaging child to "seduce" them into affiliation. Faced with a difficult and unresponsive child, with no experience of nurturing, it is not uncommon for parents to find interacting with their child so aversive that a "refrigerated" relationship develops. (Particularly if, as an astute earlier reviewer noted, one or both of Dibs' parents had ASperger's syndrome.) Dibs' sister, outgoing and charming, allows them to experience "success" as parents, so they, naturally, interact more warmly with her. It might be said not that "rerigerator mothers" cause autism, but that autsim in a child can sometimes lead to refrigerated parents.

It is important to be fair to Axline, I think. If Dibs was at least 15 years old when the book was written, she was working with him in the late 40's or early 50's -- and for her time, she showed considerable compassion for Dibs' parents. Moreover, many reviewers are suspicious of the book, thinking that she claims to have achieved her results in 7-12 sessions. Careful reading shows that Axline worked with Dibs approximately once weekly for nine months. Even allowing for illness and vacations, 30 or so sessions with a highly skilled therapist can support massive change in a young child. I'm inclined to believe that what "worked" for Axline was her modeling of social interactions at a pace slow enough for Dibs to absorb skills that led to positive reinforcement when he used them at home and at school. In addition, I think play therapy would have greatly ameliorated the anguish he undoubtedly experienced at being unloved. In return, his mother was able to feel more successful and therefore more loving, which led to a slow but continual improvement in their relationship.

I have always wanted to hear Dibs' point of view. He would, presumably, be in his mid to late 50's now, and I often wonder how adulthood has been for him, how he remembers Dr. Axline, and what he thinks of this book.

As a practicing oncologist I deal with peoples struggles for their life.This is another story about an individual's struggle to take control of their life.In some other reviews of this book I think the readers missed the basic concept. This is not a book that blames parents for their childrens psychological problems, rather it points out the power of conversations and actions on another human beings emotional well being. Especially the power during early childhood when the individual is developing his or her self concept.It should remind us all that the conversations we have about people including ourselves can alter a life. The pivotal point for Dibbs was acceptance of his self expression by a talented psychologist then himself and finally his parents. In the epilogue the letter Dibbs writes points it out beautifully.I recommend it highly for all those interested in the triumph of the human spirit.

When I first encountered Dibs in 7th grade I was deeply touched and changed by the reading. Dibs is a little boy caught in a family that doesn't mean to hurt him but does sheerly by continuing the dysfunctionalism that is so prevalent. I don't think Axline ever accuses or blames the parents for not knowing how to cope with Dibs' different personality. As I read I was able to see Dibs in myself. And I also was able to conquer the world I was locked into. I still read this book about once a year and I still learn so much about myself

DIBS is an incredible book that can serve as an inspiration to all. It pulls you in emotionally while teaching you a great deal about children's psychology. I read it in ONE DAY! For everyone who rated this book low... they were obviously unable to see the meaning of this book. The strength this child had to overcome his past and learn to live a strong, happy, and healthy life. It is definitly worth the time and the money.

Virginia Axline's moving 'Dibs in Search of Self' has probably impacted my life more than any other book I have read. I read this book at age 16, while in my first year as a summer camp counselor. The empathy and emotion she shows in her writing struck a chord with me, and inspired me to take a similar look at helping children. I am now studying to become a child psychologist. I have worked with children with Autism, ADHD, anxiety, and depression, and I can attest to the reality of the thoughts, reactions, and emotions of both child and therapist. This book is a seminal work, and I recommend it to anyone who works with children.

In the novel, Dibs: In Search of Self, I found many instances of the word "lock." Through this stirring novel, Dibs is able to "unlock" his emotions and allow himself to be happy. He realizes that he can be angry, sad or happy and that is what makes him Dibs. This was a touching novel, I can understand how some readers may believe that it is cruel to motherhood, but from my viewpoint, Dibs mother did not smother him with love, as so many mothers do. She passed him off as a "chunk of a thing" and believed that with her intellect, she could not have a mentally retarded child. But as we see, Dibs has an IQ of 168. But that's not what is important in a child, or any being, it is the self-worth that Dibs found through his play therapy sessions. He "unlocked" the door and found himself. This was a remarkable novel, and I recommend this book to those who would like to see the strength in a child named Dibs.

This book doesn't blame anyone's parents for mental illness. I read this book while getting a psych degree in college and it stood out for the real care and empathy the author feels for her patient. She draws no conclusions about Dibs' parenting- she is disappointed that his parents are not as involved in the care and therapy of Dibs as she might wish. Axline finds expressions of the universal struggles of growing up in Dibs and tries to be of help. She works with Dibs and doesn't just give him a label and dismiss him as unreachable. Any resemblance of Dibs' problems to the modern diagnosis of autism is missing the point of the book entirely.

This book is about a little boy named Dibs. He is very intelligent. However, he appears to have a social disorder, is withdrawn, and afraid. His therapist helps him overcome this through psychotherapy (in the form of play therapy.) She shows him lots of love and concern, but not judgement or condemnation; her method extremely helps him.

I don't think there is anything "wrong" with Dibs. God made us all different. Some people are naturally bubbly and confident; some people have difficulty interacting with other people. I think God made us all different for a reason: there are many different jobs and missions in this world that have to be done, and different jobs require people of different personalities in order to be able to get them all done. No one should tease or judge someone for being "withdrawn" or "introverted". God has great plans for that "withdrawn" person, as well as He does for the bubbly loudmouth.

This book was written in 1964, but I feel it is still a wonderful book. A more recent book that might be of interest to people who loved this book is "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron. (And by the way, her book tells us the same thing that I said in my earlier paragraph, about different personalities are required for different jobs.)

This is a well-written, true account.

are you people honestly saying that by reading a condensed version of therapy sessions you can diagnose a child with 100% accuracy? admit for just one second that this intelligent woman is capable of seeing things that you might not see. i'm not claiming to be an expert, because i'm only a college psych student with little experience with autism, asperger's, or even emotional disturbance, but are you saying that the way a parent treats a child cannot have severe effects on their self-image and expression? childhood trauma is real, and you don't know what really happened in this child's home. there is a possibility virginia axline may have been wrong, but let's admit for a second that we don't know everything. if you read this book as a depiction of the struggle any of us can go through as we learn, grow, and become comfortable with our own selves, it is an amazing read. there is very little commentary on the symbolism of dibs' play, leaving so much room to learn about ourselves! i loved reading this book. luckily, there are still enough people in this world who see the beauty of this book to keep it in print.