Customer Reviews

Did You Say Something, Susan?: How Any Woman Can Gain Confidence With Assertive Communication

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Dr. Paulette Dale is a workshop leader and consultant on assertive communication and the author of five textbooks and numerous articles on the subject.

This 196-page book has no index, but it does have a list of references and multiple useful appendices. It covers the following topics: (1) how to be unappealing to users and abusers; (2) using assertive speech and body language; (3) preparing for confrontation; (4) learning how to say no; (5) buying time before responding in a difficult situation; (6) speaking up for yourself and telling someone when their behavior is not acceptable to you; (7) refusing to put up with put downs; (8) speaking up on the job; (9) raising assertive children.

Dr. Dale writes in a clear and friendly style which makes it a pleasant task to learn her lessons on how to communicate what you really feel, say no and mean it, speak up for your rights, get what you need on your terms, become confident and articulate, and gain the respect of others.

Assertiveness is a very important aspect of self-defense (a multi-layered set of skills I strongly believe every woman should know). This book teaches the first two of five levels of self-defense: establish a strong physical presence, and verbal deterrence. (The other levels are: soft-handed defense, deterrence through physical pain which causes no lasting harm; hard-handed defense, physical strikes which can cause injury but rarely death; and deadly force, physical kicks or blows, or the use of weapons such as guns, which can kill the assailant, and are commonly employed by martial artists, law enforcement officers, and military personnel.)

I highly recommend this book to women of all ages, especially young women, who can avoid a lifetime of unnecessary suffering by using this vital information to keep themselves safe and sane.

This is a very well organized and presented program to encourage women to speak up and express themselves with confidence in almost every situation imaginable. The author provides extremely entertaining and relevant examples that every woman, regardless of profession, can relate to. I now understand the difference between aggressive and assertive communication and how assertive is the only way to go. It leads to "win-win" outcomes to misunderstandings or conflicts almost every time. Too many people think they are assertive when they are really aggressive. I've already started using some of the advice and suggestions outlined in this book, and can say with absolute conviction that they really work. The author really shows readers how to "walk softly but carry a big stick," or in other words, communicate gracefully and femininly while protecting your rights, getting want you want, letting people know that you expect to be treated with respect and won't settle for less.

Dr.Dale has written a much needed book. I'm a fairly assertive and confident person, but this book made me realize that I could still be much more effective when communicating with others. Dr. Dale uses wonderful examples to clarify her points which explain her advice and suggestions perfectly. This book is hard to put down as it is so entertaining and interesting to read.

I started to use the techniques described in the book straightaway. I have managed to be in control of situations that normally I would have blamed myself for, my confidence and self esteem rises everyday. Thank you

I would recommend this book to anyone working on increasing their assertiveness skills. Her chapter on saying No - using ways to buy time and saying no directly are particularly great examples of skill building. I refer my coaching clients to this book and mention her examples in my newsletters and on my web page.

This really is a wonderful book. If I follow even half of the author's suggestions, I'll never need to read another self improvement book again. It has excellent advice on ways to communicate more assertively and the types of speech habits to avoid which diminish your credibilty with listeners.It's written clearly and in a very entertaining way. The examples are wonderful.

I did like this book, and I could see reccommending it to clients I counsel. The activities and exercises are great. Her writing style is easy to read and the book is well laid out. She covers pretty much all the important issues with a fair amount of detail and great examples.

So why the relatively low rating? Well, I did find the book oversimplified the problems of unassertiveness. I would've liked an entire chapter just on the role of women in society and how that influences our potential unassertiveness. She just didn't go deeply enough for my liking as to the causes of unassertiveness. For a person with real, long term problems speaking up for themselves this book wouldn't be enough either. I had a real issue with the way the author seemed to suggest that all you had to do was read the book and follow her program and you could become assertive. For many it isn't that easy.

I am a man. I happened to glance at the book while a griend was reading it. The suggestions were so useful and right on target, that I borrowed the book from my friend and read it over the weekend. The advice Dr. Dale provides is excellent for both men and women. Following her suggestions for assertive communication is sure to guarantee all readers success in their dealings with just about everyone in their lives.