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Die You Doughnut Bastards [Kindle Edition]

Cameron Pierce
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $10.95
Kindle Price: $6.95
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Book Description

"Like William S. Burroughs on crack!" - Thomas F. Monteleone, New York Times bestselling author

The bacon storm is rolling in. We hear the grease and sugar beat against the roof and windows. The doughnut people are attacking. We press close together, forgetting for a moment that we hate each other.

In Die You Doughnut Bastards, amputees, lonely young people, and talking animals struggle for survival against the freakish whims of nature. A typewriter made of fetuses is the source of woe for an expecting couple. A girl with a glass jaw hides an otherworldly secret. A demonic loner goes to a birthday party in Hell. You'll encounter a killer in a marsupial mask, a prison for anorexics, haunted pancakes, and a songwriter with a cult following.

Surreal prose poems give way to personal accounts of alienation and modern love. Vegetarian narwhals are sold at the supermarket. And in a city that might be your own, zombie doughnuts are rising up. Kill yourself before they kill you. Or just kill yourself.

Featuring original illustrations in the style of Daniel Johnston, Die You Doughnut Bastards is the latest way to drown, brought to you by Wonderland Book Award-winning author Cameron Pierce.

Editorial Reviews


"One of the most creative short fiction purveyors working today." - VERBICIDE MAGAZINE
"Black humor has never been darker than this; this is the absolute pitch black of humor. Even with the humor occasionally interjected into these stories, poems, and small asides this is extraordinarily uneasy reading. Surrealism wields great power in these many stories." - BEACH SLOTH

Product Details

  • File Size: 818 KB
  • Print Length: 196 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Eraserhead Press (October 1, 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00ATP6PM8
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #762,938 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A provocative mix with a wide range of moods April 28, 2013
Die, You Donut Bastards is the latest collection of short fiction and prose poetry by Cameron Pierce. The whimsical title and cover art may suggest a mostly humorous approach to Bizarro, a genre which can range from arty surrealism to shock-focused extremity, and also at times encompassing more conventional storytelling with a subtler twinge of the surreal. While many authors focus on a single approach, Pierce here shows himself capable of covering all the bases.

Most of the pieces are just a page or two, and focus on wild invention and playful absurdity. I detect in these shorter works the influence of Russell Edson, the master of surrealist prose poetry, though Pierce is less oblique, less blatantly symbolic, and more confrontational. Readers approaching this book from outside the Bizarro realm can expect a lot of zany humor and intentional absurdity, but will also discover a great degree of subtlety and sensitivity. In fact, those seeking a full-on Bizarro blast may be surprised by the restraint and emotional honesty present in the longer stories.

The lengthiest of these, "Lantern Jaws," is a lovely tale of wonder and emotion, both subtle and graceful, reminiscent of something Kelly Link might create. In it, a teenage boy falls in love with a girl schoolmate who carries a vaguely Lovecraftian doom or curse. It's a gentle, touching story, characteristics which may seem at odds with some of the extremes on display elsewhere in the book, yet it's also quite dreamlike and surreal.

Another longer story, "Death Card" shows a couple, Tristan and Emily, shifting from youthful, carefree obsessions, such as Tristan's comics and his collection of vinyl figures, to more adult concerns now that Emily is pregnant.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Well written, but very random January 19, 2013
By Azeryk
Format:Kindle Edition
'Die You Doughtnut Basards' is a short story from bizarro author Cameron Pierce, who has been releasing books for the past five years and always seems to get good reviews. This is actually my second Pierce book, the first being the novel 'Gargoyle Girls of Spider Island', which I found to be average, so was hoping this would give me a better chance to see if I would like his style or not.

It's hard to describe what happens within these pages, mainly because it is a bizarro short story collection, but also because there are no links between the stories so one minute you could be reading about killer doughnut men, the next about goth animals and then love. Sandwiched between these tales are both pictures of strange monsters, and poems, which make this a very quick read. This eclectic mix of variety does make it an interesting read, and if there is a tale which is less interesting you know it won't last long before your sampling something else.

Whilst I have tried several bizarro books to date and tended to enjoy them; I did find this short story collection harder to enjoy. I think it may be just my own personal tastes but I didn't enjoy the jumping around which came from so many unreleated stories. If you are a bizarro short story fan then I think you will really enjoy this book as it is well written, if your new to bizarro then this might be too strange for you.

The novel was received in exchange for an honest review.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Chubby Toughs are not Cute December 28, 2013
I love reading a book and deciding that I have found an author whose work I need more of RIGHT NOW, and I’m thankful they’ve written a lot more stuff.

I think some of these stories are good enough to stand on their own, but the composition of the entire collection enhances the overall experience. There is a sense of poetic unity among the pieces, and the little illustrations between stories enhanced the sense of loneliness and longing that I felt pervaded throughout the book. There are unifying thoughts and concepts which indicate this is not a haphazard book full of an author’s stories, but rather a book that is supposed to represent a concept. I couldn’t help but keep thinking about Max Booth III’s They Might Be Demons; both authors use flash fiction in a methodical demonstration of theme and a strange progression of plot (I would argue that Pierce’s collection has something of a progressive plot); however, Pierce approaches his work with a schoolboy charm that accepts our perception of madness as nothing more than natural occurrences in thought and action.

My biggest problem with bizarro is that a lot of stories seem to include a bunch of random things that just “happen”, and while that’s usually okay, it sometimes just feels, well, random and contrived. Pierce makes bizarro work as a contextual element; he has infused his stories with a sense of heart and humanity that reflect the poetic elements that seem to either answer questions or provide new ones, with a sense of finality. Pierce did not include random elements, nor did he just throw things into his stories to give readers “more weird” because the book is “bizarro.
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5.0 out of 5 stars C Pierce keeps on getting better! June 6, 2013
By Raf
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I always thought the most wicked story ideas in Bizarro were conceived by Cameron Pierce. It was the main reason why I kept going back to his stories, even when his writing style didn't always appeal to me. But now I'm really digging the direction C Pierce is taking his work with this collection of weird stories, poetry and illustrations.

These stories are all worth reading. They're trying to tell you something about themes as modern love and alienation. The characters are getting all the attention.

Lantern Jaw, the longest story (and possibly the second-best (nothing will top Disappear) in the collection) is an amazing piece about a boy and a girl in high school, feeling utterly real as the weirdness just blends in perfectly. The same can be said about Death Card, a story starting out in a sex shop with customers dressed as Waldo, but it's about a young couple dealing with pregnancy.
People losing it in the mall, characters experiencing imprisonment, great ideas that possibly aren't. These stories are excellent because through all the weirdness I can relate.

There's a lot of content (165 pages). And the great part is: it's good content. I was interested in all of the 34 (give or take) pieces. I mentioned Disappear, a story that made me fistpump in the air throughout the last page as it became everything I wanted it to. The only bad thing about it is the title, which you'll know what it needs to be when you read the story. The poems are really cool as well. These poems were speaking to me, no matter how short, long, or wicked they were. Ant Fat was a killer.

There's amputees, narwhals, morbid beavers, deadly doughnut bastards coming to kill ya... all made to feel real, making this a great piece of modern literature that I would recommend to anyone. Yes, I wouldn't recommend all Bizarro to people not familiar with the genre, but I'm pretty sure this one will score with anyone.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars Don't waste your money on this one
Only the very weird would like this collection of odd ball stories. The only redeeming value to the book is that it is funny.
Published 11 months ago by FSM Larry
5.0 out of 5 stars Surreal and bizarre
What makes Die you Doughnut bastards so good is that it doesn't try and be so bizarre that it alienates you. Read more
Published 14 months ago by Michael
5.0 out of 5 stars Some bizarro is just fun and some resonates deeper. This definitely...
Saying something is bizarro tells me some things but still leaves me almost completely in the dark. There are so many different ways to do bizarro: funny, disgusting, violent, just... Read more
Published 15 months ago by D. S. Atkinson
5.0 out of 5 stars First Eraserhead Press Book I Read
I absolutely LOVED this collection. Before this collection of stories/poems, I had never read anything written by Cameron Pierce. Read more
Published 16 months ago by Wonderland88
5.0 out of 5 stars "Cameron Pierce is a lachrymal alchemist, with his ability to...
I'd flirted with Bizarro on and off ever since 2002, but it was this book that converted me to a full fledged resident of the Bizarro universe once and for all. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Jeremy
5.0 out of 5 stars Six or Half a Dozen of the Other
I used to love doughnuts... until I read Die, You Doughnut Bastards. These sticky, sweet beasts are evil. Read more
Published 20 months ago by M.C. O'Neill
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and Irreverent
Die You Doughnut Bastards is hilarious and irreverent. Pierce's writing has an impromptu feel to it that makes it fresh, yet is thoughtfully put together. Read more
Published 23 months ago by Alan M. Clark
3.0 out of 5 stars Mixed bag of bizarro stories
I've read a few of Cameron's novellas, and have really liked them. For many authors, it's quite a jump from novellas to short stories, and you may love one, but loathe another. Read more
Published 24 months ago by moof3r
4.0 out of 5 stars Good train reading
While not being as bizarro fan, per se, I was given this book so I could/would give my honest review of it. Read more
Published on February 6, 2013 by J.W
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More About the Author

Cameron Pierce is the author of eleven books, including the Wonderland Book Award-winning collection Lost in Cat Brain Land. His work has appeared in The Barcelona Review, Gray's Sporting Journal, Hobart, The Big Click, and Vol. I Brooklyn, and has been reviewed and featured on Comedy Central and The Guardian. He was also the author of the column Fishing and Beer, where he interviewed acclaimed angler Bill Dance and John Lurie of Fishing with John. Pierce is the head editor of Lazy Fascist Press and has edited three anthologies, including The Best Bizarro Fiction of the Decade. He lives with his wife in Astoria, Oregon.

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