Customer Reviews

Different Children, Different Needs: Understanding the Unique Personality of Your Child

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This book will help you understand that different personalities aren't right or wrong, they are just different.
Using the DISC personality profile descriptions this easy to understand book can help you re-open closed communication lines with your child who is different than you in action, thought, and deed.
It's as simple as starting by asking yourself is he/she "slow-paced" or "fast-paced", "task-oriented" or "people-oriented"? I'm an associate pastor in a large church. Our children's minister is planning to use this book with teachers and parents. Her quote is, "Why should we wait until we are over 40 years old to understand this stuff?"

Super book to read and discuss with other families. I covered this book in parenting seminars and have found it to be a great reference. The book contains easy surveys to complete that will enable you to understand what makes each family member tick. It gives numerous suggestions on curtailing you parenting techniques to each child's personality. I have found the way Charlie writes and explains in detail easy to understand and identify with as a parent and a professional.

I loved this book. It is very easy to read and understand and has helped me to see others differently, and recognize how personalities truly affect relationships. Knowledge is the key, and once I understand why someone behaves the way they do, I can recognize that they really aren't just trying to annoy me, and learn to adjust. I also see my own weaknesses and can work on those. No one is DEFINED by their personality type. We all have choices to make in life, but understanding your normal tendencies can help you to become a more balance person. And having a daughter that is so different from me, I really enjoyed the section in this book on how each personality type relates to the others- strengths, struggles, and strategies. Definitely recommend!

Charles Boyd does a wonderful job of writing this book to help parents understand the need to parent children to their unique personalities.

I like how he uses the DISC Model that helps parents understand that their personality and their child's personality can work together even if at opposite ends of the spectrum. I have taught these principles in parenting classes using this book and found parents have a AHAA! moment when it dawns on them why their child follows them around all evening. The parents realized that their children just needed to be nurtured based on their personality styles.

I like how the book is written as a study book for parenting groups. It gives another way for parents to gather together, share ideas, and learn new strategies about children.

This is a must read for parents.
Jen Hegerty, School Counselor

I can honestly say that this book has changed my outlook on my parenting.

This book starts out by clarifying what the Bible means when it commands us to "train up a child in the way he should go" (Proverbs 22:6) by explaining that the Hebrew meaning behind "the way he should go" more accurately could be described to say "according to his bent". In other words, God has created each of us with a unique bent to our personality. We will do best to understand our child's bent and parent them with that in mind. Failing to do this results in children that are raised feeling that if they could change who they are (be more assertive, more calm, more creative, more like their brother, etc) we would love/accept them more. God has created each of us with our own set of strengths, gifts, weaknesses and tendencies. This book used the popular DISC personality assessment model to help me to not only understand the personality of my children, but to see how it is God given. It also helped my husband and I identify our personality types and understand the natural strengths and weaknesses with those personalities. Practically, this book also went into great detail providing ideas on how to tailor our parenting style to train our children according to their "bent" (even breaking down each specific parent/child personality combination). It also touched on how the differing personality types of you and your spouse can affect your marriage.

After reading this book I was able to better understand our oldest son's personality and appreciate his temperament rather than try to fight or change it.

As a few examples:

-Part of our son's personality is to have a strong desire to lead. This can be a strength; the world needs leaders, especially good ones. Our challenge as parents is to help him recognize this God given gift and see how he can use it to help others. In addition, he needs to keep in mind that sometimes he may be tempted to lead others in a way that is inconsiderate of their desires. Knowing this about him, we can affirm his strength and help him learn how this strength can also be a weaknesses, if he is not careful. We are working to be more intentional about verbally affirming his strengths as we see them displayed. When he asks the waitress at a restaurant if he can please have more to drink we can say "You were not worried to ask for something that you needed, that is called being assertive, good job!"

-Another aspect of our son's personality is his desire to do things in a systematic way. Knowing how important routine is to him and how well he responds to doing things "in order" we have found ways to incorporate list making in our home. We have a list for "what do do when you get home from school", "what to do before you watch TV" and "what to do to get ready for bed". These list have worked AMAZINGLY well and it feels great finding things like this that help us to train him according to his "bent".

Since reading this book, I have mentioned this book to countless friends. Two of my friends have borrowed my copy. I asked them if they had any feedback to share on it. Here is what they said:

"Any book that helps me understand my children better is a good read. Once you figure out the personality type your child leans towards, it is fun to follow how their minds generally process things. It can be very eye opening.

It definitely helped me understand some of the frustrations in our household. Now that I understand where they are coming from (and even where I am coming from!), it makes it easier to step back and evaluate the situation correctly." Serena H.

"As a parent, I want my kids to thrive and this enlightening book has helped me learn to encourage them according to their own God-given design. I love the added benefit that these insights have also helped strengthen my marriage at the same time." Meredith M.

This book has been a great, practical resource for our family, and the title is a perfect description of just what the book does: it has helped us to understand the different, unique needs of each of our children, and also how to meet those needs effectively.

After some general introductory chapters, it gives a simple explanation of each of the four major personality types using the DISC system, and helps you identify both your own predominant personality type, as well as each of your children's. Of course most people are a combination of two or more types, and so these are generalizations, but they really give insight into "Why my child acts that way, and why I react this way."

For me, one of the best features of the whole book is the section that takes each of the four major personality types (or in this case "parenting styles"), and matches those parenting styles with each of the four major personality types of your children, one per page. So for example, if you are predominantly a "D" parent, it matches you up with each possible personality type of your child: D, I, S, or C, and lists "Strengths," "Struggles," and "Strategies" for each combination. This made the book specific enough to be really helpful.

There are some other great features in the book, but that one was my favorite. I've loaned out my copy multiple times, and even bought one for a friend. It's a wonderful resource and I highly recommend it.

This is an exceptional book for parents, giving us the descriptions of different temperaments... both for our children and for ourselves. Then it takes everything a step further in what each child's temperament needs from us as parents, and how we all interact. This book made one of the largest impacts on our family functioning well together.

I am really enjoying this book. I say enjoying instead of enjoyed because it is a great reference for me. I have four kids and each child is TOTALLY different. This book has been an eye-opener to help me cater to each on according to their individual needs. This book is an easy read and very spiritual. I've been recommending it to every parent that I know who has more than one child.

The DISC personality system on which all of the parenting advice in this book is based reminds me of your run-of-the-mill horoscopes, Birthday books, birth-order personality descriptions, and other miscellanea of that ilk: entertaining, but not particularly helpful. In responding to the various, hugely UN-specific statements that help determine your personality type and your child's, I found I had a different answer for different circumstances, moods, or times of day. For instance, in the section that determines if you are a fast- or slow-placed person, you circle 1 if you make up your mind quickly, or circle 2 if you take your time in decision-making. Well, am I deciding which preschool to send my child to, or choosing shampoo at the store? Different circumstances, different answers.

In addition to disliking the basis for the book, I found the parenting advice to be very basic. "Do not become impatient with the child. Don't rush or push him. . .Be open at times if your child suggests a different way of doing something. . .Realize that some conflict and change is healthy. . .," etc. Be aware, too, that this book is written from a fundamentalist Christian viewpoint--the author is a southern Baptist minister and liberally sprinkles the pages with Bible verses and other evangelical language.

The one part of the book that I enjoyed was a couple of pages of positive "one-liners" you can use to build your child's self-confidence: for example, instead of saying "What's taking you so long?" you can say, "You do things precisely and accurately." That is very much in line with the whole "observe, don't judge" philosophy of child psychologist Haim Ginott which I try to follow.

There are many more helpful parenting books out there--keep searching.