A Different Kind of Perfect: Writings by Parents on Raising a Child with Special Needs [Paperback]

Cindy Dowling (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 12, 2006

Every parent dreams of having a happy, healthy child. What happens when these dreams are shattered by a physical or cognitive disability? A Different Kind of Perfect offers comfort, consolation, and wisdom from parents who have been there—and are finding their way through.

The writings collected here are grouped into chapters reflecting the progressive stages of many parents' emotional journeys, starting with grief, denial, and anger and moving towards acceptance, empowerment, laughter, and even joy. Each chapter opens with an introduction by Neil Nicoll, a child and family psychologist who specializes in development disorders.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

While all parents worry about their offspring, parents of children with special needs face a unique set of challenges that is served well by this touching collection. The conflicting emotions and frustrating dilemmas of raising special needs kids are well represented by more than 50 short essays; parents will find honest confessions that are wrenching, warming and probably familiar. "Why make a birthday cake when she can't blow out the candles, make a wish or eat a piece of cake?" laments one mom in the section on "Depression"; another, in the "Love and Joy" section, is taken by surprise by her own happiness: "The sun is shining, the day is brand-new, my child is humming, and God is so good!" Divided at first into sections based on the emotional journey of parents of special needs children, essays on such topics as "Denial," "Anger," "Acceptance" and "Empowerment" give way to takes on "Marriage, family and friends," "Spirituality" and "Laughter," and include practical advice ("Don't Always Trust the 'Experts'"), philosophical musing ("The Kaledoscope of Our Life"), straight encouragement ("Dance Recitals Are Still Possible") and life lessons ("We Take Nothing for Granted"). Though this text is not for parents who are expecting, it makes a valuable, readable, tear-jerking resource for parents raising a special needs child.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

“Compiled by a psychologist and two parents of special-needs children, the essays in this book reveal deeply personal issues.  Through these sincere accounts we see both the strain on the parents and the potential of the children.” —Library Journal (starred review)

“The honesty in this book took my breath away. There are so many different, compelling voices to listen to. The book embraces the entire family experience, as well as the whole grieving cycle.—Susan Senator, author of Making Peace with Autism

“This riveting book brings us the much needed voices of parents of children with disabilities, who speak with breathtaking honesty about their grief and gratitude, anger and exaltation, despair and laughter. It offers a wisdom that speaks not only to parents and families of children with special needs but to anyone who wants to learn how to live gracefully with disappointment and to transform life’s challenges into blessings.”—Miriam Greenspan, psychotherapist and author of Healing through the Dark Emotions

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Trumpeter; 1 edition (September 12, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1590303075
• ISBN-13: 978-1590303078
• Product Dimensions: 5.9 x 0.9 x 8.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #304,394 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful, July 17, 2007

By 

A Reader "Reader" (Mid-Atlantic Region, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: A Different Kind of Perfect: Writings by Parents on Raising a Child with Special Needs (Paperback)

I read this book while expecting a child with special needs. It helped explain some of what I was going through. The grieving, the denial, etc. I liked the format of personal experiences combined with the professional essays. Both were helpful. Some of the thoughts were extremely helpful, including the title, which says that my child is a different kind of perfect.

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars I wish I could say I liked this book more, March 6, 2008

By 

Suzanne Amara (MA) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: A Different Kind of Perfect: Writings by Parents on Raising a Child with Special Needs (Paperback)

I really wanted to like this book a lot, as I have two children with special needs and I am always wanting to read parent accounts of how they made it through the days and years with their children. This is a very well meant book, but I think there should have been more editing done before it was published. It had the feel of just taking anything that was submitted and including it in the book. This results in a collection of accounts that are vastly different in style and material. Some are very vague and try to be inspirational, a "Welcome to Holland" type of writing. Others are very specific and medical. Some are pretty much just angry rants, like the woman whose husband sounds unbelievably in denial and unhelpful, some are very upbeat. Of course it's true that everyone reacts to parenting a special needs child differently, but what also varies widely is the material---some essays never say what the special need of the child is, some include tiny details but leave bigger questions hanging, and some are just oddly written, like little short stories that are trying too hard to be literary.

I guess I would like a book that's more specific---what special need does each child have, how did the parents react to the news the child had that need, what were the early years like, where does the child go to school, how do the siblings get along...all of which were addressed a little here and there in this book.

I thank the authors and editors for trying, though. I am sure that some people will find inspiration here.