A breakthrough in sexual literature, this work is a complete, comprehensive user-friendly guide to and tour through the world of alternative sexual lifestyles. While the topics are exotic and erotic, the authors handle each one in a sensitive, thorough, analytical, and fascinating way and manage to explain a secret world to those who might wish to visit.
Different Loving
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Book Description
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Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
Although the authors insist this tome "is not an apologia for sadomasochism," it often reads like one. Rejecting theories that explain S&M in terms of low self-esteem or regressed sexuality, they portray sexual dominants, submissives and fetishists "as they see themselves: loving and compassionate individuals" for whom pain is pleasure and physical bondage is psychologically liberating. However, it is hard to reconcile this formula with the interviewees' graphic accounts of whipping, spanking, "golden showers" (urination), the use of hot wax and clothespins, depersonalization fantasies (being treated like an animal or a chair) and so forth. The wife-husband Brames (she is a poet, he a novelist) and freelance writer Jacobs also devote sections to genital piercing, scarification (cutting one's body with a knife), tattooing, female wrestling and transvestites and transsexuals who engage in S&M. Author tour.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Kirkus Reviews
Few books come with warning labels, but this one does: ``Readers should not attempt any of the activities described in these pages.'' Why not? Because the outr‚ sexual practices described by the Brames (she: a former therapist; he: a former archaeologist) and Jacobs (a freelance writer) in this bold report carry psychological and, often, physical risks--though that hasn't stopped the two-hundred-odd practitioners whom the authors interviewed, nor the millions who share their passion for sexual dominance and submission (D&S). All D&S, the authors explain, involves a ``power exchange'' in which one partner ``tops,'' or dominates, and the other ``bottoms,'' or submits--whether through bondage, wrestling, whipping, body-piercing, etc. After running through the history of D&S scholarship--with expected nods at Krafft-Ebbing and Havelock Ellis--the Brames and Jacob present an overview of the practices themselves, which range from infantilism (the bottom often wears a diaper and sucks on a bottle) and depersonalization (the bottom may act like an object, perhaps a footstool, or an animal, most often a pony) to spanking, cross-dressing, foot fetishes, enemas, branding, and so on. The authors discuss the methods, psychological bases, and historical backgrounds of the practices, each of which is illuminated by interviews with practitioners who speak with great seriousness (``Deliberate, ritualized infliction of what we call pain can change the relationship of the body and that which lives in the body,'' says Fakir Musafar, who likes to dangle from trees by way of ``fleshhooks''). And as for the risks, nearly all of these sexual outlaws identify with the ``Scene'' (the vast D&S underground that's highly self-aware: Two thousand infantilists, for example, belong to a ``Diaper Pail Fraternity'') and with its credo of ``Safe, Sane, and Consensual.'' The definitive guide to the sexual styles of those who walk on the wild side. -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
103 of 105 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The truth about those of us in the Life.,
By "mistress_pamela" (The Lone Star State TEXAS) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission (Paperback)
I been involved in a true 24/7 BDSM Lifestyle for the past 25 years. Most of the books written on the subject were either pornographic in nature and/or lacking in the true understanding of the proper dynamics in a healthy consensual BDSM Lifestyle. This book is WONDERFUL. I completely agree with every aspect of this book. It is so well written and so informative and accurate.I usually do not read BDSM books because so many books are filled with fantasy/nonsense. This book was refreshing. My slave and I read a chapter at a time and discussed the topics. I enjoyed the authors interviewing REAL people in the Life. You may not like/enjoy all the activities in each chapter (who does!) but it is worth reading about and expanding your mind. I give this book an extremely high rating and feel that the novice out there would do her/him self a service to take the time to read this book. Even for those weekend warriors out there.......you can learn from this book. Pleased in Texas
32 of 32 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
INSIGHTFUL COMMENTARY ON R/T D/s,
By A Customer
This review is from: Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission (Paperback)
This book was my first introduction into D/s. I had always felt I was somewhat submissive..and this book confirmed it for me. The authors use real-life couples and D/s-ers at every level to paint a vivid picture of what THE LIFE is all about on so many different levels. You will find yourself identifying with many of the things said in this book. If you have ever wanted to satisfy your curiousity concerning BDSM or D/s, this book is a great place to start....a very easy read, and a great reference for the future.
49 of 53 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Good but could be better,
This review is from: Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission (Paperback)
This book is excellent for those who are new to O/our lifestyle and are looking for an overview of what its all about. There may be those that might like it for the odd chuckle or idea for a new scene. Those really serious or experienced in the lifestyle may find it dry at times and elongated, but it does contain many insights. I personaly found the book a worthy read and representative of generalities.. however I do have the strong belief that love MUST be a large part of the equation and this is something the authors TOTALLY overlooked... BDSM without love is like trying to swim on dry land.. its possible but hadly gratifying... enjoy the book F/friends. Be well. MA
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Inside This Book
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First Sentence:
In order to understand unusual sexualities such as dominance and submission (D&S), one first has to consider the question, "What is normal?" Read the first page Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
sexual magic, erotic coercion, daddy boy relationships, coercion scenarios, erotic combat, spanking enthusiasts, submis sive, dressing for pleasure, erotic humiliation, other gender role, foot lovers, many submissives, body modifiers, cross dressed, female wrestling, cross dressers, fetish clothing, domi nant, professional dominants, foot fetishism, fetish gear, vanilla sex Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New York, Krafft Ebing, Leg Show, San Francisco, The Doctor, United States, Sir Adam, Alex Comfort, The Kama Sutra, Magnus Hirschfeld, Los Angeles, John Money, Psychopathic Sexualis, Skin Two, Service of Mankind Church, Prince Albert, Shadow Lane, Havelock Ellis, Danny the Wonder Pony, People Exchanging Power, Wilhelm Stekel, World War, Ted Bundy, Cross Dressing New!
Books on Related Topics | Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Surprise Me!
In order to understand unusual sexualities such as dominance and submission (D&S), one first has to consider the question, "What is normal?" Read the first page Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
sexual magic, erotic coercion, daddy boy relationships, coercion scenarios, erotic combat, spanking enthusiasts, submis sive, dressing for pleasure, erotic humiliation, other gender role, foot lovers, many submissives, body modifiers, cross dressed, female wrestling, cross dressers, fetish clothing, domi nant, professional dominants, foot fetishism, fetish gear, vanilla sex Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
New York, Krafft Ebing, Leg Show, San Francisco, The Doctor, United States, Sir Adam, Alex Comfort, The Kama Sutra, Magnus Hirschfeld, Los Angeles, John Money, Psychopathic Sexualis, Skin Two, Service of Mankind Church, Prince Albert, Shadow Lane, Havelock Ellis, Danny the Wonder Pony, People Exchanging Power, Wilhelm Stekel, World War, Ted Bundy, Cross Dressing New!
Books on Related Topics | Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Surprise Me!
Citations (learn more)
This book cites 49
books:
See all 49 books this book cites
15
books
cite this book:
See all 15 books citing this book
- Studies in the Psychology of Sex, by Havelock Ellis on page 26, Back Matter (1), and Back Matter (2)
- Psychology of Sex: A Manual for Students (A Harvest/HBJ book) by Havelock Ellis on page 26, Back Matter (1), and Back Matter (2)
- The Kinsey Institute New Report On Sex by June M. Reinisch in Back Matter (1), Back Matter (2), and Back Matter (3)
- The Art of Love by Ovid on page 300, Back Matter (1), and Back Matter (2)
- Leatherman's Handbook: The Original by Larry Townsend on page 32, Back Matter (1), and Back Matter (2)
See all 49 books this book cites
- Feeling Strong: The Achievement of Authentic Power by Ethel S. Person in Back Matter (1), and Back Matter (2)
- Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely by William A. Henkin in Front Matter, and Back Matter
- Feeling Strong: How Power Issues Affect Our Ability to Direct Our Own Lives by Ethel S. Person in Back Matter (1), and Back Matter (2)
- Snakes and Ladders: Reviewing Feminisms at Century's End: Feminist Review, Issue 61 by The Feminist Review Collective on page 125
- Cultural Criminology and the Carnival of Crime by Mike Presdee on page 90
See all 15 books citing this book
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