Customer Reviews

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

5 star:		(19)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I been involved in a true 24/7 BDSM Lifestyle for the past 25 years. Most of the books written on the subject were either pornographic in nature and/or lacking in the true understanding of the proper dynamics in a healthy consensual BDSM Lifestyle. This book is WONDERFUL. I completely agree with every aspect of this book. It is so well written and so informative and accurate.
I usually do not read BDSM books because so many books are filled with fantasy/nonsense. This book was refreshing. My slave and I read a chapter at a time and discussed the topics. I enjoyed the authors interviewing REAL people in the Life. You may not like/enjoy all the activities in each chapter (who does!) but it is worth reading about and expanding your mind. I give this book an extremely high rating and feel that the novice out there would do her/him self a service to take the time to read this book. Even for those weekend warriors out there.......you can learn from this book. Pleased in Texas

This book was my first introduction into D/s. I had always felt I was somewhat submissive..and this book confirmed it for me. The authors use real-life couples and D/s-ers at every level to paint a vivid picture of what THE LIFE is all about on so many different levels. You will find yourself identifying with many of the things said in this book. If you have ever wanted to satisfy your curiousity concerning BDSM or D/s, this book is a great place to start....a very easy read, and a great reference for the future.

This book is excellent for those who are new to O/our lifestyle and are looking for an overview of what its all about. There may be those that might like it for the odd chuckle or idea for a new scene. Those really serious or experienced in the lifestyle may find it dry at times and elongated, but it does contain many insights. I personaly found the book a worthy read and representative of generalities.. however I do have the strong belief that love MUST be a large part of the equation and this is something the authors TOTALLY overlooked... BDSM without love is like trying to swim on dry land.. its possible but hadly gratifying... enjoy the book F/friends. Be well. MA

Human sexuality has a much wider spectrum than we've been taught by the propaganda we're force-fed all our lives. I learned that once, when I came out a dyke at age 19, and I learned it yet again when I came out into BDSM last year at age 40, never before having put two and two together between BDSM and the fantasies I've had my whole life long. I kept them secret because I was ashamed of them. If there's one thing this book did for me, it was to help me realize I wasn't so unusual, wasn't a sicko after all and had no cause for shame. (Yeah, yeah, I know some readers of this review will disagree -- so what, get a life.) Many of the kinks discussed in this book aren't my kink, but the lesson is there: we are vast in our expression and in our needs. I wish the understanding contained in this book had been made available to me, and to everybody else, a long time ago. It would have prevented much needless suffering, especially that horrible suffering of feeling forced to hide oneself from one's loved ones. Besides that, it's a good and informative book about BDSM and the BDSM scene, though if you're looking for "how-tos", that's not this book's purpose.

As a switch, I was looking for a couple of good books on BDSM. I purchased Different Loving and Female Domination. Different Loving is without doubt the superior written book. Not only is this book written in an intelligent, engaging style that conveys the truly multifariate components of this lifestyle, but presents the vibrant people involved in these practices as genuinely real and with respect. In contrast, Female Domination casts people into two sharp worlds of the dominant and submissive. All men are submissives and all women are dominant according to Suttons ridiculously erroneous worldview. People are presented as paper cut outs, stamped out and forced into Sutton's preconceived notions of gender and sex. It is genuinely laughable how Sutton attempts to explain the blairing anomalies of her thinking or conviently ignores what is commond practice and desire among men and women.

In startling contrast, Different Loving presents to the reader real human beings first and foremost and treats the reader as an intelligent audience member. It addresses the full gamut of this lifestyle and also brings an awareness of abuse issues, which is courageous I think and does not shy away from these topics. In short, it puts BDSM in its rightful context as being part of a person and not the defining thing in their life.

From being technically written well and engagingly so, full of informative information, and also presenting the context in an entertaining fasshion and cover just about ever sexual permutation--straight or gay, dominant, submissive, or swtich. It recongizes that life is much larger than any one thing or any one author's personal expectations or delusions of what the world at large should be.

I highly recommend this book.

I really, really love this book! There are a ton of books out there on technique, and books on what to do in the metaphorical bedroom, but this isn't one of them. It isn't a titillating erotic read. It's a book about the psychology, sociology, and philosophy of BDSM. Multiple viewpoints about multiple parts of the lifestyle are presented. The authors draw from interviews with all different kinds of BDSMers. It explains a lot about WHY and not a lot about HOW this lifestyle occurs. I literally can't put this book down, and I already have three friends in line to read it!

I didn't give this 5 stars because it will sit alongside War and Peace on my bookshelf...not that I think Tolstoy would mind. It does deserve praise, however, for helping out an open-minded person who is just beginning to explore the world of D&S. The purpose of the book seems to be to explain the broad world of dominance and submission in a serious-minded way; This isn't erotica. Interesting interviews with practitioners of this lifestyle are included. If any potential readers out there are like me, they were looking for a book that would show that D&S fantasies are no stranger or "unhealthier" than sex limited to the missionary position. I wanted to catch the broadest view of the spectrum of the D&S lifestyle as possible, and I think that the authors succeeded in delivering that. The book includes information about fetishism, transgenderism, as well as other areas that might be considered on the "fringe" of sexual tastes, but they are nonetheless illuminating for anyone who'd like to expand their knowledge of these practices.

I received this book from a friend that was heavily into the lifestyle when I was still a novice some 10 years ago. Over the years I have replaced this book several times because I keep giving it away to people I think could use it. Because BDSM is such a broad term, I think the case studies and interviews really help people that aren't sure about the roles they are interested in filling (or experiementing with.) Before I read this book I had no idea you could be submissive and not a slave or a Dominant without being a Master/Mistress. Defining levels of play is so important for those that are inherently submissive but new to SM as it reiterates that BDSM is not an excuse for abuse... something extremely important for those with no experience and only their partner to help them define the guidelines of the relationship.

A must read for every novice...

Personally, I am not new to the concept of D/s, but I am new to the idea that there are more, many more, people who share the same sexual/lifestyle tendancies as myself. This book is not a how-to, it is not a guide, it is more a psychological, or psychosexual if you prefer, venture that attempts to give an overview of many of the aspects of D/s and S/M. Granted, there is a lot of lumping together, and generalization, but when you are dealing with something as varied and as individual as D/s experiences and practices, it is hard to itemize every single one. On the whole I was very impressed with the book. It covered aspects of D/s that I am familar with, others that I was not, and the interviews gave voice to the individuality that the book in and of its self was not able to convey. Since I am not a veteran of D/s, I can not say whether or not such people would find the book very helpful or intriguing, but for a novice, just taking her first baby steps into the realm of alternate sexuality, it was an eye opening experience, and made huge strides towards easing my feelings of being alone, or abnormal. Even if you aren't interested in D/s specifically, but are a student of human behavior, mentality and sexuality, I would reccomend it. It is very candid and straightforward in its approach, using language that is not so highly technical to be baffling. But, at the same time, it is not written down to the reader. Again, a highly recommended read.

A comprehensive guide to the different aspects and practices within the bdsm lifestyle. I found that the book was probably better suited to the very new and curious rather than someone active in the lifestyle.

Each area was clinically described and then supported with a few anecdotes, but rarely with any depth. If you are looking for detailed information about a particular aspect of bdsm then this book will really only provide an overview of it. If however you are curious about the lifestyle in general or wonder perhaps if others share a particular interest within in it then it provides some excellent material.

Personally I found it a little dry and superficial at times.