Digging Out: Helping Your Loved One Manage Clutter, Hoarding, and Compulsive Acquiring [Paperback]

Michael A. Tompkins (Author), Tamara L. Hartl (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 1, 2009

Many people who hoard understand the extent of their problem and are open to help. This book is not for them. Digging Out is for the concerned and frustrated friends and family members of people who do not fully accept the magnitude of their hoarding problem and refuse help from others. If you have a friend or loved one with a hoarding problem and are seeking a way to guide him or her to a healthier, safer way of life, this book is for you.

In Digging Out, you will find a complete guide to helping your loved one with a hoarding problem live safely and comfortably in his or her home or apartment. Included are realistic harm reduction strategies that you can use to help your loved one manage health and safety hazards, avoid eviction, and motivate him or her to make long-term lifestyle changes. You'll learn how to handle a roommate or spouse with a hoarding problem, identify and work through special considerations that may arise when the person who hoards is frail and elderly, and receive guidance for healing strained relationships between people who hoard and their friends and family. Take heart. With this book as a guide, you can help your loved one live more comfortably and safely, salvage your damaged relationship, and restore your peace of mind.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“If your loved one has a problem with compulsive saving, this book can help you both save what really counts—yourselves! With equal parts compassion, wisdom, and practicality, Michael Tompkins and Tamara Hartl offer step-by-step instructions for helping family members and friends with hoarding challenges. The authors’ passion for their work comes through on every page, and their extensive experience is evident in every nugget of advice they offer.”
—Jeff Bell, author of When in Doubt, Make Belief: An OCD-Inspired Approach to Living with Uncertainty

From the Publisher

In Digging Out, two psychologists who specialize in compulsive hoarding show readers with a friend or family member who hoards how to use harm reduction, a proven-effective model, to help their loved one live safely and comfortably in his or her own home and improve their relationship with the hoarder.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (November 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572245948
• ISBN-13: 978-1572245945
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #66,970 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #97 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Mental Health > Compulsive Behavior

More About the Author

Dr. Michael A. Tompkins is the author of six books. His latest book for anxious adults is "Anxiety and Avoidance: A Universal Treatment for Anxiety, Panic, and Fear" available in September 2013. He is a founding partner of the San Francisco Bay Area Center for Cognitive Therapy and a Diplomate of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy.

His book for anxious teenagers, "My Anxious Mind: A Teen's Guide to Managing Anxiety and Panic" is a Magination Press/American Psychological Association bestseller and received the 2011 Association of Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit Award.

He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with his wife, two daughters, and two cats.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

82 of 83 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for people whose loved ones are hoarders November 30, 2009

By K. Varness

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This book fills a gap in published information about hoarding. Other excellent books exist for hoarders themselves or for professionals who treat hoarders, but there has not been a book directed at the people whose loved ones hoard. The authors deal with the frustration family members or friends feel regarding an uncooperative person with excessive clutter. In addition to addressing the emotional toll on those around the hoarder, the book educates readers about hoarding, including setting realistic expectations for changing the situation. Particularly useful is the application of harm reduction theory to hoarding. This examines how friends and family can help the hoarder to minimize health and safety hazards. Digging Out presents a comprehensive, easy to read guide for those who are at their wit's end. No doubt it will be a seminal book for working with hoarders.

41 of 41 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars "Harm Reduction" For The Elderly Rather Than "STUFF Reduction" April 25, 2011

By jds

Format:Paperback

This book does a very good job clarifying priorities when it comes to clearing the mess of a hoarder (i.e. instead of approaching the situation with a "TOSS EVERYTHING!" attitude, it advocates a "harm reduction" stance, which focuses on maximizing your loved one's safety & comfort over discarding his or her things). It tries to get the reader accustomed to the idea that the hoarder will probably never be as horrified about their living conditions as those around them.

Fortunately or unfortunately, the majority of the book seems to focus on elderly hoarders (that does put a particular slant on the text), which may be positive or negative, depending on the reader. It goes into great lengths discussing the challenges of dealing with a hoarder in the grips of Alzheimer's or dementia or those who have difficulties getting around without the use of walkers or finding their medications in the clutter.

Unfortunately, for people dealing with younger/youngish hoarders, the condescending psycho-babble in the hypothetical discussions is completely off-putting (eye-rolling at times) & would lose any credibility I personally have with my particular hoarder. Additionally, once a "harm reduction team" is gathered (good luck with that), trying to get the hoarder to sign a contract about how to keep one's OWN property is also condescending, intentionally so or not. This book is really a bit better suited for older hoarders (rather than middle-aged or younger ones).

However, these techniques may work for some. Plus, the more flexible "harm reduction" approach over the more staunch "STUFF reduction" method could potentially open more hoarders to purging.

14 of 18 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A highly recommended advice guide with an important message March 15, 2010

By Midwest Book Review

Format:Paperback

You might need it at a later date. "Digging Out: Helping Your Loved One Manage Clutter, Hoarding, & Compulsive Acquiring" is a guide for those who want to help their friends and family stop their endless collecting of seemingly useless stuff which leads to more problems than that hoard is worth. With tips on convincing them to give up the hoard and living a life with less weight in the house and on their shoulders, "Digging Out" is a highly recommended advice guide with an important message.