Customer Reviews

Dinosaur Valley Girls

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

This is about as much fun as you can have in low-budget! Don't look for Shakespeare, here (although there is one quote if you look for it) - this film was never meant to be in that category. One of the reviews called this "a masterpiece of arrested development" and that sums it up. It's funny, loaded with dinosaurs and gorgeous women with spring-loaded bras that jump off at a moment's notice. Pick up a six pack, a pizza and settle in for a lost evening in a lost world. Don't analyze, don't critique - just ENJOY!

I've waited a long time to get my hands on this title. All I have to say is sometimes good things don't come to those who wait.

Dinosaur Valley Girls' plot is WEAK! I've seen 'adult films' with better plots. The acting is fifth rate at best. The only decent thing in the film are the dinosaurs. Yeah, I know, stop motion can't stand up to the CGI in most films today (Walking With Dinosaurs, anyone?), but on a tight budget (which I assume was the case) it wasn't too bad. Species like camptosaurus and saltasaurus can ONLY be seen in this film. The girls are beautiful (although one dimensional and silly) and are the only reason (besides the dinos of course) I'll keep this film. The video transfer is no better then a 5 year old VHS tape and the sound is mono (if not it's the worst 2 channel I've ever heard). The film makes up a tad in the extras department, though. There is a 'Making of' and 'Deleted Scenes' section. These are the only things that save it from a single star review. Rent it if you must.

'Dinosaur Valley Girls is pretty obviously a low-budget film. But that doesn't mean this 1996 comedy, written and directed by comic-book writer, dinosaur
expert, and novelist Don Glut lacks merit. I've watched it three times in preparing this review and I think it's a hoot.

Action-film star Tony Markham [played by Jeff Rector, who looks and speaks a bit like Charlie Sheen] is haunted by dreams and visions of a beautiful cavewoman in a valley of dinosaurs. When an ancient artifact transports the actor back in time, he soon learns that Hollywood heroics won't be enough to protect the cavewoman and her tribe from the perils of this time-lost world. It's a decent
premise with a satisfying conclusion, and that's not something we always get from movies with much bigger budgets.

There are two versions of the movie. The director's cut has boobies. Lots of boobies. They're quite nice, but, on occasion, they slow down the film. The family version covers up the boobies, but still has sexual elements that probably wouldn't be appropriate for young viewers.

Rector is good in his role, but the outstanding performances come from Karen Black and Ed Fury as an estranged cave-couple whose split also split the tribe into separate male and female tribes. Again, it's an amusing concept and Glut and his actors work it for many laughs along the way. An anti-smoking running gag gets a bit old, but it leads to a painting-on-the-wall sight gag that had me
laughing out loud.

Most commentary tracks put me to sleep, but Glut's impressed the heck out of me as he described how much bang he, his cast, and his crew got from the minimal bucks that financed this movie. It's practically a course in low-budget filmmaking.

Glut takes justifiable pride in his film's dinosaurs, as well he should. Aside from a couple modern lizards made to look huge, and that's more an in-joke homage to the low-budget dinosaur films of the past that anything else, all the dinosaurs in this movie are scientifically accurate. I thought the lightning-scar allosaurus looked particularly swell.

The second disc features a bevy of special features: a "making of" documentary, deleted scenes, actress auditions, music videos, and more. Special note must be made of some familiar folks who had a hand in this movie:

The uber-talented Pete Von Sholly did some art for the film and co-wrote the annoyingly catchy "Jurassic Punk" song and other "Dinosaur Tracks" tunes. Frank Brunner did dinosaur and storyboard art. Author Bill Warren makes a cameo appearance and "Uncle Forry" Ackerman has a walk-on while clutching a copy of Famous Monsters of Filmland. Even Roy Thomas gets a "thanks to" nod as the end
credits roll.

Dinosaur Valley Girls is an entertaining way to spend a couple hours. It wasn't going to win any Oscars, but all I ask of most movies is a few hours of fun and this movie delivers that. It earns a respectable three out of five Tonys.

Tony Isabella
Lead Reviewer
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I bought this thinking it would be a fun "B" Movie but the acting in this movie was so bad it was funny. I don't know why it is getting so many tags making it seam like it's a sexy movie with nudity. There is one scene, don't blink or you will miss it, dumb story, dumb writing, did I say bad acting......junk......it was over priced at 99 cents

This is your dino-dream come true! It's a video about a "primeval" fantasy land inhabited by dinosaurs & cavebabes created by Don Glut, an expert on dinosaur film history and the science of dinosaurs. Karen Black is still "cave-babe-alicious". And, for inexplicable reasons, those scenes featuring cavemen passing gas had me and my wife in hysterics. It's not exactly One Million Years B.C., but then it's perfectly suited for your next planned Halloween dino-monster movie marathon. Hey, it's a genuine cult film already & the price is right, so pop open those brewskies & enjoy! Also, viewers will find Don's book, "Dinosaur Valley Girls - The Book", about the making of the movie, highly entertaining.

This movie is funny as well as borderline erotic. the actresses were all enjoyable to watch as the sexy cavewomen, and the late William Marshall(the original Blacula)was at his best as the scientist/researcher. Dinosaur Valley Girls is one of the most interesting B-movies I have seen in a while.

1. This is an OK movie. Not Great, but not terrible.

2. Plot is OK

3. Very little sex scenes/nudity.

While it is standard knowledge in the scientific community that humans and Dinosaurs never met face to face, film makers continue to place them in the same time era. In this one, a man travels back in time to meet dinos and naked cave women. He also has to fight off the cave men as well as dinos. It is done rather campy. The dinos are not of Jurassic Park quality, but are authentic enough to watch. Followers of hitech dinosaur recreations might want to pass on this one. Followers of camp movies and half clad women will want to view this most likely.

I don't think I've ever seen a more disappointing excuse for a 'T&A' movie than this exercise in stupidity. I like seeing attractive women come out of their clothes as much as the next red-blooded guy, but there are far better DVD's for that than this one. I did not expect much of a story line with a title like this, so at least that wasn't a shock. A modern day actor gets 'magically' transported back to prehistoric days. And oh, what luck. The stone age men and women have had a little tiff and are now living apart, and our 'hero' (cough, cough) ends up in the girls' camp. But none of the cast could act their way out of a wet paper sack if their lives depended on it. The so-called 'dinosaurs' are among the cheapest, most cheesy looking I've ever witnessed in a film. You can see better effects done by amateurs on YouTube. As for the women, most are decently attractive, but for me, it was the dusky-skinned Arkeni (Ta-mee) who stole the show. And what WAS it with the retard names? Deb-bee, Bar-bee, Mee-shell, Ro-kell, enough already. If you catch this one on sale or in your local big box store's bargain bin, it's money that won't be terribly wasted. Otherwise, avoid at full price.

I must have been BRAIN DEAD when I ordered this one. DON'T WASTE YOUR MONEY!