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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Pass on this one and save your $$ for your own donuts, August 5, 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: Dirty Cop No Donut [VHS] (VHS Tape)
Self described on the VHS tape box back as "A True-Crime 'Shockumentary', the true crime is anyone that purchases this work of fiction. (The credits at film's end state that the entire work is "fiction" and then the word "Gotcha" appears.) The sales pitch continues to read: "The eighty minutes recorded on this videotape are believed to be true." The only thing to be believed on this video is the worst acting and the lowest budget imaginable. We are taken along as an "officer of the law" goes on a rampage administering his own form of justice and the cameraman gets it all down on tape (ignorant of the crimes being committed and without lending a hand to the victims). The real crime has to do with the acting and the scene set up. Our anti-hero and star, the dirty cop, needs some explaining. His off the cuff script is exactly that, completely unbelievable in all aspects. No one talks like this. His constant badgering of the cameraman to keep the camera on him is excessive and his shouting tirades at bystanders/criminals has several of them visibly laughing. The "shockumentary" part of this film is that every expense was in fact spared in its production.... The officer's uniform is unlike any law enforcement's in existence. He looks like a rent-a-wreck cop. Mr. Dirty Cop's police vehicle is never seen from the outside. There is no typical side search light on the vehicle. The car's rotating light is right on the dash blinding anyone driving the vehicle (or watching the video). Thank goodness the phony officer wears his sunglasses at nighttime. Even when the rotating light is off, he still wears them. While he has his flashing light on, he is never chasing anyone, he is not going very fast, and for all the calls he goes on, we never see him pass through any intersections. Time to bust a major drug player. This dirty cop knocks on the suspects door and the occupant simply lets him in with open bags of narcotics in plain view. All dealers do this don't they? Just leave the dope on the table, don't check who is knocking at the entrance, and simply open up the door. The dialog is terrible. The acting is terrible. Let's forget our lines and repeat them several times. Now push the dealer's nose into the white powder, let him convulse on the floor, and then take the rest of his stash and let some teenagers later on party with "the law." Scene after scene are strung together with our dirty cop yelling at the camera man, shouting at laughing suspects, drinking anyone's already open beverage, and the threat that he'll dish out some violence (but it never occurs). The last 4 sentences on the video box's back read: "It's not just a movie!" Well, it's not even a movie but rather the worst production you could waste your money on.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Pass on this one and buy yourself donuts instead, July 31, 2001
By A Customer
Self described on the VHS tape box back as "A True-Crime 'Shockumentary', the true crime is anyone that purchases this work of fiction. (The credits at film's end state that the entire work is "fiction" and then the word "Gotcha" appears.) The sales pitch continues to read: "The eighty minutes recorded on this videotape are believed to be true." The only thing to be believed on this video is the worst acting imaginable and the lowest budget imaginable. We are taken along as an "officer of the law" goes on a rampage administering his own form of justice and the cameraman gets it all down on tape (ignorant of the crimes being committed and without lending a hand to the victims). The real crime has to do with the acting and the scene set up. Our anti-hero and star, the dirty cop, needs some explaining. His off the cuff script is exactly that, completely unbelievable in all aspects. No one talks like this. His constant badgering of the cameraman to keep the camera on him is excessive and his shouting tirades at bystanders/criminals has several of them visibly laughing. The "shockumentary" part of this film is that every expense was in fact spared in its production.... The officer’s uniform is unlike any law enforcement’s in existence. He looks like a rent-a-wreck cop. Mr. Dirty Cop's police vehicle is never seen from the outside. There is no typical side search light on the vehicle. The car's rotating light is right on the dash blinding anyone driving the vehicle (or watching the video). Thank goodness the phony officer wears his sunglasses at nighttime. Even when the rotating light is off, he still wears them. While he has his flashing light on, he is never chasing anyone, he is not going very fast, and for all the calls he goes on, we never see him pass through any intersections. Time to bust a major drug player. This dirty cop knocks on the suspects door and the occupant simply lets him in with open bags of narcotics in plain view. All dealers do this don’t they? Just leave the dope on the table, don’t check who is knocking at the entrance, and simply open up the door. The dialog is terrible. The acting is terrible. Let’s forget our lines and repeat them several times. Now push the dealer’s nose into the white powder, let him convulse on the floor, and then take the rest of his stash and let some teenagers later on party with “the law.” Scene after scene are strung together with our dirty cop yelling at the camera man, shouting at laughing suspects, drinking anyone’s already open beverage, and the threat that he’ll dish out some violence (but it never occurs). The last 4 sentences on the video box’s back read: “It’s not just a movie!” Well, it’s not even a movie but rather the worst production you could waste your money on.
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5 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Talentless actors, crew, story..., September 12, 2000
This review is from: Dirty Cop No Donut [VHS] (VHS Tape)
For all the hype lavished on this little dirty piece that passes itself off as "satire", I thought there must at least be an element of provocation here. Nope. And forget about any semblance of cinematic awareness, story, acting, editing. I've seen works by 12-year-olds that surpass this one in technical expertise and writing. You could do better shooting on your old Video-8 camera.
It astounds me how proudly director/writer Tim Ritter puts his name (and his editor's) up on the screen at the end credits. They're even so bizarrely proud of this piece of garbage that they put: "The preceding video is a work of fiction. Gotcha!" at the end. Baloney. Not only was it clear from the start that Dirty Cop: No Donut was fake through and through, it's also apparent from the get-go that it was awfully shot, awfully directed, awfully conceived. Scenes drag on and on with no real impact, the lead character is a seething mass of annoyance and gloating arrogance, the cameraman is hyperactive with no real sense in following the action, and even the camp value is torn to shreds because of how long everything takes to unravel, and how one-dimensional the concept is ("I'm the law" gags for 80 minutes). In terms of guerilla filmmaking, The Blair Witch Project succeeded on the strength of skilled actors and novel concept. Dirty Cop: No Donut doesn't even have the novelty factor to it: Everything here has been done infinitely better nearly a decade ago by the Belgium film Man Bites Dog, in which a detached camera crew follows a sadistic killer around and implicates itself as part of the violence. That was satire. Dirty Cop: No Donut is some kid toting a camera around fancying himself a filmmaker, with people in front of the lens fancying themselves actors. Both sides fail on all counts.
Needless to say, I felt like I had been masochistic in subjecting my brain to this snot. Skip it. This one commits all the ultimate crimes -- it's badly made, morally void and, most grievously, boring. For once, I wish Amazon had a "No star" rating.
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