Dirty Jokes and Beer [Abridged, Audiobook] [Audio CD]

Drew Carey (Author, Reader)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2004

We all know Drew Carey from The Drew Carey Show and his award-winning stand-up career, but do we really know Drew Carey, the person? Bawdy and irreverent, Dirty Jokes and Beer shows the many sides to this misunderstood Hollywood star:

The Health Conscious Drew: They say that exercise and proper diet are the keys to a longer, healthier life. Oh well...Watch for my next book, "How I Died While Jogging."

Drew the Lover: I read the Forum letters in Penthouse thinking that I could learn from them. I remember thinking sometimes when I was having sex, "Let's see now. How did 'Surprised in Cincinnati' do it?"...If a Playboy Playmate said in her questionnaire that she liked a guy in tight pants, I would go out and buy some tight pants. If she said she liked well-endowed men with big muscles and hairy chests, I would cry.

And Drew's formula that took him from lonely teenager to successful megastar: Avoid cheap cologne and cheesy bikini underwear. Don't expect sex on the first date, and never pay more than twenty dollars for a lap dance.

Dirty Jokes and Beer features all this, plus a section that Drew calls kind of a Drew Carey in the Fourth Dimension [but] still close enough to the real Drew to scare me.

This audiobook contains adult language.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

The enigmatic star of the hugely popular Drew Carey Show divulges the secrets of his rise to stardom and his life as a standup comedian in the audiobook version of Dirty Jokes and Beer: Stories of the Unrefined. Despite the title's promise, this isn't just three hours of filth and debauchery--well, not quite. Carey also shares an unexpected admission about being molested as a child, a surprisingly serious and moving moment. This solemnity, however, is a brief respite from almost three hours of bawdy humor--fables of all things dirty and odes to everything politically incorrect. Carey's jokes are nothing new or original, but he doesn't profess them to be. These are characterizations of people he has met throughout his life: grotesque slobs, cheap hookers, and lousy drunks. They're not exactly inspirational characters, but Carey manages to see--and relate--their funny sides. Carey borrows his jokes from barroom culture, leaving them raw and uncensored. Listening to the tape, you can almost smell the stale tobacco and taste the draft beer. Some listeners will delight in Carey's anecdotes about anatomically astonishing penises and his other jokes, while others may feel slightly nauseated. Dirty Jokes and Beer leaves little middle ground; you'll either love it or rip your headphones off in disgust. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

This collection of dirty jokes, short fiction, and autobiographical tidbits will please some readers and offend others. Carey, a stand-up comic and star of his own TV show, writes mostly about sex, drinking, gambling, football, and television. One of his favorite topics seems to be his "big dick" jokes. Four-letter words predominate, giving the book a definite adolescent, male tone. Carey points out that the raunchier his material, the more popular he became, seeming almost surprised at the public's reaction. To his credit, he also includes a sampling of the negative reviews and letters he has received. The short stories are the most interesting. Carey reads with the familiarity and conviction of one reading his own work. Overall, though, this book has limited appeal; not recommended.?Nancy R. Ives, SUNY at Geneseo
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Audio CD
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio; Abridged edition (September 1, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0743540778
• ISBN-13: 978-0743540773
• Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (75 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,890,568 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Carey Rocks, December 4, 2000

By 

Thomas Magnum (NJ, USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Dirty Jokes and Beer: Stories of the Unrefined (Paperback)

Dirty Jokes & Beer is the first book by Drew Carey, star of his own self-titled TV show. What makes the show so funny is Mr. Carey's ability to poke fun at himself and the humorous look at every day life. This book is written in the same style except it doesn't suffer from the restrictions of network TV. If you are scared off by vulgar language and sexual situations, then this book isn't for you. Mr. Carey goes into tales of his life with a self-deprecating style and keen eye. His account of his trip to Mardi Gras is hysterical and his chapter on the ability, due to his TV success, to buy a house and accoutrements is priceless. The three short stories that make up the end of the book are extremely funny as well. One minor setback is the chapter of big dick jokes. A few of them are very funny, but he drags it out for too long and they get a little tedious. Overall, this is an extremely enjoyable read and just like his show, laugh out loud funny.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Very Very Funny Book!, March 4, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Dirty Jokes and Beer: Stories of the Unrefined (Hardcover)

When I first began to read this book I was very shocked at the jokes and the language that he used (picturing the Drew seen on televison) but then I realized that this is the way that most guys think. I never put this book down. He put an honest a hardworking effort into this book and it came out great. I just couldn't stop laughing. I had no clue that it would be like this and I loved it because it surprised me. I especially like the jokes that he put in front of every chapter and his stories that wrap up the book. In conclusion I would like to say that you must look at the title. If you don't like books containing foul language and dirty jokes well you might as well push the back button on your browser but ..... if you love dirty jokes and you wanna have a good laugh I recommend that you read Dirty Jokes and Beer : Stories of the Unrefined by Drew Carey.

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars In its own way, a masterpiece., September 9, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: DIRTY JOKES AND BEER: STORIES OF THE UNREFINED (Mass Market Paperback)

I just finished reading a translation of the Nina Berberova novel The Book of Happiness (published by New Directions). Normally, of course, I read only socially/morally uplifting and intellectually challenging books, but from time to time Mr. Hyde wants to come out of the closet and flash somebody. Sometimes I can hold off this attack with a bit of froth, like a mystery novel; at other times, only what I call (for want of a better title) Crud Books will do. I just picked up a great one: Drew Carey's Dirty Jokes and Beer: Stories of the Unrefined. Criteria for judging great crud books include vulgarity, filth, and humor almost any adult would be ashamed to admit they like. My favorite chapter includes 101 mostly hilarious jokes about genital elephantisis, to use a euphemism. Carey's prose is good enough. He also prefaces almost every chapter with a very funny dirty joke.

After a good amount of this kind of carrying-on, however, comes a very strange part indeed: the stories of the unrefined. It seems Carey wanted to write a book of short stories. The consensus from his friends and business associates who read these stories, however, was "dark," and Carey can't sell dark, only funny. So they get slipped in after Carey has given the customers what they expect - a real professional. The stories are dark indeed (and also funny), and if they are based, even remotely, on what actually happened to him (they sound like they do), I can understand why he tried to commit suicide twice.

The stories are mostly about down-and-outs and marginal characters in Cleveland (West Side equivalents of R. Crumb and Harvey Pekar), so that part was fairly interesting to me, since I grew up in Cleveland as a somewhat marginal figure. They weren't bad at all, as stories, if not up to Wings of the Dove. But Carey surprised me. They didn't have to be good at all.

Carey writes probably pretty close to the way he talks and he talks about things almost every adult male talks about. He didn't write it for prudes, male or female, liberal or conservative. It's up-front, funny (for those who can see the humor), and take-it-or-leave-it.